Acouple of weeks ago, our city was privileged enough to be a pit stop on the Battle Cry Tour: a rock-and-rally festival of evangelical Christian teens who seek to combat the “corporations, media conglomerates, and purveyors of popular culture” that have “infiltrated our country and [are] preying upon the hearts and minds of 33 million American teens.” Or, to put it another way, “We're sick and tired of that rap music you've been listening to, faggot.” This was not an event to be missed. So in an effort to see what was going on, and to check out all of those fine pieces of heavenly underage ass (I kid, swarthy teens of Battle Cry. Don't hurt me!), I walked around AT&T Park last Saturday afternoon to see what God hath wrought. It was not the peaceful Kumbaya-my-Lord rally I was anticipating. To wit:
On my way over, walking down Second Street, I passed a gaggle of fair-skinned teens, one of whom sheepishly called me a “buttfucker.” Giggling about this, I continued on as the rest of the group joined in the chant, getting louder the farther I walked away. Charming.
Hateful slurs aside, my favorite observation was of the line for McDonald's on Bryant. Anticorporate this group was not. I mean, I didn't expect these pasty kids and their morbidly obese parents to be supping at Jack Falstaff, but their need for McNuggets was astounding, which brings us to today's Great Moment in Photojournalism. Get a load of that sucker!