Man Wearing Nothing But American Flag Shorts Steals Coors Light Van

We would have gone for a Russian River Brewing Co. van filled with Pliny, personally.

Matt Lane Hermsmeyer, left, was arrested Thursday for stealing a Coors Light delivery truck. (Image: Santa Rosa Police)

The watery, low-calorie beer guzzled by racecar drivers and Midwestern sports fans was the subject of a heist in Santa Rosa Thursday, when a 46-year-old man hijacked a Coors Light delivery van, spurring a massive police chase. Matt Lane Hermsmeyer allegedly discovered the vehicle as it was parked outside MD Liquor & Food on Sebastapol Road, while the driver made a delivery. As Hermsmeyer drove off, the delivery driver was alerted to the incident and called 911. 

It must have been a slow crime day, because they showed up in droves. As Hermsmeyer took the truck on a joyride across town, he was pursued by  Santa Rosa Police Department, a Sonoma County Sheriff’s Department helicopter charmingly-titled “Henry-1” and K-9s for backup. 

The truck was eventually abandoned, and Hermsmeyer was caught on camera sprinting, scantily-clothed, across several lanes of traffic before hiding in a bush. He was eventually apprehended. 

The story raises a number of questions: Why was he only wearing American flag boxers? Who leaves the keys in an unattended beer delivery truck? And why would you name a helicopter Henry? But at SF Weekly, we’re most concerned with why on earth anyone would steal a Coors Light truck when Russian River Brewing Co. is just down the road. 

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