Millennial Problems: Sad Bernie Sanders - July 28, 2016 - SF Weekly
SF Weekly

Millennial Problems: Sad Bernie Sanders

It’s been a sad week for Bernie Sanders.

A darling of millennials the world over, the onetime presidential candidate first had to stomach the news that powerful people don’t want him in power anywhere. Then he was forced to tell his bros to relax because He’s with Her now. After that, he went up on stage days before you want to go up on stage at a political party convention. And through it all, Bernie has had one of those stiff-upper-lip smiles which make it obvious that the person smiling isn’t really happy.

Poor Bernie Sanders.

Maybe he got screwed, maybe he didn’t. It doesn’t really matter anymore. But at least the senator from Vermont can return to the Northeast knowing his supporters left it all on the convention floor, and probably elsewhere. And by that, we mean streams of salty love and admiration.

“Crying millennials DNC” is a fun word combo with which to search the social medias and wider internet right now. There are stories here, here, and definitely here. If you were watching Bernie’s speech Monday night, then you certainly know the camera operators at CNN found almost every weeping millennial in Convention Hall.

This wasn’t one tear here and there, eyes that were maybe a little misty and trying to hold it back. This crying was like holy-shit-I’m-5-years-old-and-I-just-hugged-my-pet-hamster-so-hard-it’s-not-breathing-anymore.

Except you’re not 5. You’re 20, maybe 24. You might even be 30. You went to college, loaded up on debt, and work some low-paying job with little vacation time or room for growth. You go out when you can, but between working and paying rent and all your other bills you basically only have time and money for Netflix and boiling packets of Top Ramen. You Instagram, but you hate yourself for it because you only post animal photos. You work 60 hours a week, and your employer keeps telling you the world is a place where you have to do more with less.

No wonder you’re crying; Bernie was going to make your life better. This happened instead:

What’s the alternative? Do you want to be a Bernie Bro like the folks Slate called “disappointed, angry, and downright despondent”? You want to chance a Donald Trump presidency? That’s gotta be worse than posting a selfie and getting fewer than 10 likes. Nah, you need to take a measured approach, like the folks The Atlantic found who “saw no particular problem in once loudly criticizing the status quo and now supporting an institutional candidate who very well may preserve it.”

It’s good to cry. It helps the healing process, and you always feel better once the tears dry. So maybe do a few more breakdowns, privately and quietly, until the week is over. But after that, give some serious thought to hashtagging #ImWithHer until November.