World's Largest Penis: Jonah Falcon's Dong Visits San Francisco, Dick Jokes Ensue

This week it was revealed that the world's largest penis and the nebbishy, 41-year-old man it's attached to visited our fair city. In the ostensibly newsworthy portion of this development, he was asked by airport security personnel if he had the world's largest penis in his pocket or was just happy to see them.

Yes to both, it would seem.

Jonah Falcon is something of an odd bird. He's gained a measure of fame for his celery-stalk-sized phallus, which he clearly revels in (an excellent Rolling Stone profile follows him as he dons pinstripe baseball pants “two sizes too small” for a trip to Yankee Stadium and otherwise struggles to emerge from his member's massive shadow). Falcon steadfastly refuses to delve into the world of adult films, however, as then no one would take him seriously as an actor.

Well, fair enough. We'll take Falcon and his chosen career as a thespian as serious as penile cancer. We'll make fun of our brethren in the press, however, for missing the most golden opportunity for San Francisco-related dick jokes in the history of San Francisco and dicks.

To wit:

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