White people can't play the blues. Granted, some black people can't play it, either. But most new blues these days is played by white people — talented Austin guitarist Gary Clark, Jr., is one obvious exception — and most blues these days utterly sucks. Blame it on a malady we'll call White Blues Syndrome: Ninety-five percent of the time, if you give a pale-skinned guitarist, singer, or saxophonist a blues progression to play over, they'll treat it like a compulsive tagger treats an unmolested swath of bathroom stall. They scribble their self-importance all over it. They spray notes like a piss-happy baby whose diaper just came off. Even blues guitar greats of the Caucasian persuasion, like Eric Clapton, Jimmy Page, and Stevie Ray Vaughan, have used the form as a chance to exhibit their ability to wank: Look at me solo! I can play fast! I can spit out so many notes you can't even keep track of them all!... More >>>