Hold your breath and close your eyes: This is a column about South by Southwest. Before you go wiping your ass with this page, though, hear this: I assure you this will not be another blow-by-blow, wasn't-it-all-so-cool account of four debauched days and the innumerable bands that filled them. (Real quick, though: The Decemberists could have sucked a golf ball through a garden hose; please, everyone, stop saying that band is good.) So relax, I just want to tell you two quick tales involving two local figures. And to show you I mean business,... More >>>