2012 Election

Fear and Loathing in Tampa: A Guide to the Republican National Convention

Mitt Romney Trashes California, Comparing Golden State to Financially Screwed Europe

Mitt Romney is in trouble with California Democrats -- not that he really cares. The Republican Presidential candidate was heard popping off again, but this time he was trashing California instead of Palestine. While speaking to a group of Iowans, Romney talked about how another four years with Obam ... More >>

Jenna Jameson, Queen of Porn, Endorses Mitt Romney, Incites Political Discourse

Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney managed to -- literally -- sex up his campaign without even trying. It turns out that the Queen of Porn, Jenna Jameson, proudly admitted to a San Francisco reporter that she is definitely voting for Romney come election day. The Los Angeles-based porn st ... More >>

Jealous Boyfriend Allegedly Beats Woman After Seeing Photo of Mitt Romney on Her Facebook

No matter how many pennies we toss into the fountain, there's not a chance in hell we'd be lucky enough to wake up and have no clue who Mitt Romney is. However, this charming Tennessee man to your right only recently learned about Romney while he was in jail. He also just so happened to learn that i ... More >>

Mayor Ed Lee to Explain What's So Great About Obama's Tax Plan

Since President Obama is tied up in NYC and can't swing another trip to the left coast to shake us down for more support money, San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee has taken it upon himself to serve as the president's proxy. The mayor has scheduled a coffee date tomorrow with voters where he plans to explain ... More >>

Texas-Based Evangelical Apocalyptic Paper Claims Mitt Romney and Obama Are Evil Twins

It's hard to find evangelical Christians in the media who come off as more questionable than our very own Harold Camping. But there's one place you can be sure to dig one up ... and that's in Texas. The Power of Prophecy, an arguably unreliable Austin-based publication, was kind enough to ship us it ... More >>

Obama to Give Oakland Some Lovin'

Oakland has long been considered the dumpy stepsister to San Francisco. And yeah the city doesn't have a kick-ass ballpark on the waterfront, but Oakland does have the East Bay Rats fight night, an evening filled with blood, babes, and booze. President Barack Obama's recent nonstop trips to San Fran ... More >>

Obama Officially Wins Health Care Debate

Now is the time to take back all the really mean things you have said about Justice John Roberts. The very conservative Supreme Court Justice gave us a reason to think that thing just might be okay when he not only sided with the liberal justices on Obamacare, but wrote the majority opinion upholdin ... More >>

Obama Would Be a Much Better Sugar Daddy Than Romney, Female Voters Say

One quality voters probably don't consider in their next president is whether he would make a good sugar daddy. But with so much money tossed around in presidential races, why shouldn't ladies entertain the idea? According to a new survey, they have! SeekingArrangement.com, the world's largest sugar ... More >>

Mitt Romney's Campaign Really Should Be Hooked on Phonics

If Mitt Romney's campaign has demonstrated anything to the American public since he became the Republican nominee, it's that nobody over there could win a fourth grade spelling bee. Yes, spelling might be hard for some people, but hiring a proofreader isn't, especially if you have a natural proclivi ... More >>

Mitt Romney Makes Himself Right at Home in Wealthy Hillsborough

Remember what happened last time Mitt Romney made a trip to the liberal bastion of the Bay Area? Those raging grannies et al went after him for being the billionaire he is, dressing in fake fur and mocking rich boys like him. So we can only imagine -- or hope -- what they might have planned for the ... More >>

Another Poll Shows Marijuana Legalization Has Overwhelming Support

If only President Barack Obama was marijuana, then he'd win reelection by a landslide.Marijuana legalization enjoys a 20-point advantage in the polls among American adults, according to a recent survey Rasmussen Reports. Fifty-six percent of Americans polled support the notion of marijuana being tax ... More >>

Gary Johnson, Libertarian Candidate, Gives Marijuana Supporters an Alternative to Republicans

Will Ron Paul Supporters Follow?For all the love showered upon him by cannabis and hemp activists, Ron Paul was always going to be a bitter pill for liberals to swallow. On the surface, the straight-talking Texan sounded good for voters weary with mainstream party choices: The long-tenured Congressm ... More >>

Peter Magowan, Former Giants President, Among Romney's Top Bay Area Donors

Californians would have loved 2002 Mitt Romney. That guy was the bleeding heart who pushed universal health care in his state; the conservationist who would attack a coal plant by saying "I will not create jobs that kill people!"; a man who signed a Planned Parenthood candidate questionnaire affirmi ... More >>

Ron Paul Counts Bay Area Tech Companies Among Top Donors

This week Republican presidential cult favorite Ron Paul will campaign through California, with stops at well-known party school Chico State, as well as UCLA, and Berkeley. While the venues reflect Paul's solid and passionate base among college kids, a closer look at Paul's donor list shows that the ... More >>

Rick Santorum: Don't Know Much About History

It's a shame the "Shit X says" meme is dying out, because Rick Santorum is on a roll. In related news, the "Rick Roll" meme seems to be dying out, too. Shame, that. It was American philosopher George Santayana who famously noted that "those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." B ... More >>

Jelly Belly, Host of Rick Santorum Rally, Is Sweet on the GOP

​The Jelly Belly factory is a beacon of thriving American manufacturing -- it is also a fine choice for wholesome family outings.And considering how much former President Ronald Reagan loved jelly beans, it also seems like the perfect location for a conservative darling's presidential ca ... More >>

Mitt Romney Visits Bay Area to Get as Far Away from Obamacare Debate As He Can

​While the U.S. Supreme Court debates the constitutionality of Obamacare over in D.C., GOP presidential hopeful Mitt Romney has made sure to keep his distance from the debate -- literally. The former Massachusetts governor, who has been criticized himself over "Romneycare," traveled some 3,000 mil ... More >>

Smut With a Smile

Sizzle & Fizzle: Highs and Lows from the Last Week in S.F. Music

Santorum Gaining Ground Among California GOP Voters

​Mitt Romney, the leading contender for the GOP presidential nomination, has to watch his back among voters in California's Republican primary, according to a new poll.The poll from the Public Policy Institute of California shows that U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum is surging here, and is closing the dis ... More >>

KSFO Recalls Andrew Breitbart Saying "Progressivism in San Francisco Has Ruined This Wonderful Town."

The most interesting time to listen to talk radio is a day with fresh news, because it demands actual thinking from hosts who usually just spend hours each week spewing forth librul-hatin' nonsense as canned and same-y as soft-serve coming from a spigot. That's why SF Weekly spent a chunk of this mo ... More >>

Politically Driven

Twitter User Who Wants to Sodomize Michele Bachmann Can't Remain Anonymous

​A man who proclaimed on Twitter his desire to sodomize conservative Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann with a machete will have his identity revealed to federal investigators, a U.S. District Court judge in Washington, D.C., has ruled.The man -- who for now remains anonymous in public court ... More >>

Sizzle & Fizzle: Highs and Lows from the Last Week in S.F. Music

Dave Mustaine Confirms Idiocy Twice in One Week

​As you may have already heard, a couple of days ago, Megadeth's Dave Mustaine told musicradar.com that he was "hoping that whatever is in the White House next year is a Republican" (he knows politicians aren't robots right? Surely that should be a "whoever," not a "whatever"?) and gave his own ra ... More >>

Newt Gingrich to Campaign Near San Francisco: Lock Up Your Wives

​After Newt Gingrich trashed-talked the Bay Area, specifically San Francisco, we gave the  polyamorous Republican five really good reasons that he might fancy our fair city, despite the fact we are open to all things good. Of course, we didn't think he would take that as an actual invite, but ... More >>

Mitt Romney Will Win Republicans Over By Teaming Up With Nancy Pelosi

Mitt Romney is all set to be the Republican nominee for president, except for one stubborn hitch: Republican primary voters -- like most people -- don't like him, perhaps because he's actually an actor playing a presidential candidate on a soap opera in 1986. Instead, lately, lots of Republicans se ... More >>

Tea Party Princess: Victoria Jackson and the Rabid Right

Ron Paul Won't Legalize Marijuana -- Because He Can't

​As if the promise to dismantle most of the Washington-based government wasn't enough, Texas Congressman Ron Paul has also made waves in his bid for the Republican presidential nomination with his maverick stance on drug policy.During his 30 years in the House of Representatives, Paul has authored ... More >>

Ron Paul Says He Didn't Create Offensive "China Jon" YouTube Video

GOP presidential hopeful has done some crazy shit in his past, as we've noted here before, but his campaign claims he never released this offensive YouTube video about ex-Utah Gov. Jon Hunstman, showing him dressed as the Communist leader Mao Zedong. Paul's campaign filed a lawsuit in San Francisco ... More >>

Ridiculously Spacious Bay Area Home for Sale, Only $29 Million

​Here's something that will surely stoke contempt among the Occupy Movement: A San Francisco suburban home is on the market. Its asking price? Only $29 million!The mega mansion, which sits on 6 acres in the quiet town of Hillsborough, is secured by classic wrought-iron gates. It has reportedly bee ... More >>

Ron Paul Is Crazy. Admit It.

​Congressman Ron Paul grabbed the lion's share of headlines among GOP presidential candidates last week, and not just because he is the latest improbable figure to challenge the inevitable nomination of Mitt Romney.The conservative Weekly Standard ran a rehash by writer James Kirchik of an article ... More >>

Newt Gingrich Tells Occupy Protesters to Take a Bath

​Last week, we regaled readers with the dumbass things Ann Coulter had to say about the Occupy Movement, none of which is worth repeating in this post. Rather, we have new material from an old Republican who, too, has shared his idiotic convictions about the anti-big bank movement. Republican pres ... More >>