Alex Smith (Quarterback)

Carson Palmer Traded in Exchange for Three Magic Beans

Carson Palmer's value has dropped more precipitously than that of a new convertible or an old laptop -- which is fitting enough, because he ran slower than either. The Oakland Raiders today sent the quarterback packing to Arizona -- along with a seventh-round draft pick -- in exchange for a sixth-ro ... More >>

Here's Your 49ers Super Bowl XLVII Drinking Game

What a time to be in San Francisco. On Sunday, the world's eyes will be on The City's team. The Super Bowl is America's favorite unofficial holiday, and San Francisco will be right in the middle of national party. A day of greasy foods, shouting, and general indulgence; a day for revelry and drink ( ... More >>

Top 12 Moments of The Year of the Bay Area Sports Renaissance

With the New Year just hours away, we can finally say it without fear of a buzzer-beating jinx: 2012 marks The Year of the Bay Area Sports Renaissance. These things tend to come in cycles. The Bay's Age of Terrible Sports was a long, cold winter. Game Six in '02 was the first snow, and the blizzar ... More >>

Kaepernick Fever: The 49ers QB Had Vegas' Attention

Benching Alex Smith Is the Ultimate Alex Smith Decision

Initially, the concussion that cost Alex Smith his starting position with the 49ers looked like the result of a textbook Smith play. With a minute and a half left in the first quarter of last month's contest against St. Louis, Smith dropped back to pass, panicked without a second's hesitation when h ... More >>

The 49ers Lost on Sunday, but at Least Their Cars Weren't Stolen

It was the 49ers' most lopsided loss of the Jim Harbaugh-era. The New York Giants ran the ball effectively and made Alex Smith look like the old Alex Smith, all the while closing the always-trivial Power Rankings gap with the Falcons (dominant 26-3 win in SF > close 23-20 home win over the Raider ... More >>

Alex Smith's Giants Cap: $15,000 Fine Could Have Been Much Worse

Yesterday, 49ers whipping boy-turned-golden boy Alex Smith revealed the National Football League nearly whipped its share of gold out of him. He was fined $15,000 for wearing a San Francisco Giants cap during postgame interviews, a move that dates back to last season -- and, yes, warmed the hearts o ... More >>

Who Was the Hooded Man Standing Behind Alex Smith During NBC's Post-Game Interview?

It was one of the greatest videobombs in Internet history. There he stood, bundled under a grey hoodie, inches behind Alex Smith and Michael Crabtree, solemnly nodding in agreement as the quarterback explained to NBC's Michele Tafoya that the 49ers need to take the season one game at a time, a natio ... More >>

Sierra LaMar: Family Offers $10K Reward for Missing Teen's Safe Return

Nearly a month since 15-year-old Sierra LaMar went missing, her family is offering a $10,000 reward for her safe return, hoping that will bring their daughter back soon. The reward, which was announced over the weekend, will be given to the first person who provides information that will help bring ... More >>

Tim Tebow: Jesus Smiles Upon San Francisco By Sending Him Elsewhere

​More than a few sportswriters couldn't resist marital analogies during the 49ers abortive recent pursuit of Peyton Manning. And, hey -- it works. The team's for-better-or-for-worse union with Alex Smith finally experiences some of the "for better," vows are renewed -- and cue an aging but hormona ... More >>

Peyton Manning: A Move With No Middle Ground

​The intriguing news that San Francisco may indeed be Peyton's Place is that rarest of things -- a true all-or-nothing gamble. There is no in-between when it comes to signing -- or perhaps even chasing -- Peyton Manning. Either the 49ers will contend for a title or the aging, brittle Manning ... More >>

With Payton Manning Available, the 49ers Stand by Their Man

​Hall of Famer quarterback Peyton Manning was kicked to the curb by the Colts Wednesday after undergoing multiple neck surgeries and snuggling up on the bench for the 2011 season. Now, the question on everyone's mind: Is Manning is a top choice to replace current Niners quarterback  ... More >>

49ers Tickets: $10,000. 49ers Van: $8,000.

​Power may be the ultimate aphrodisiac, but success is a hell of a salesman. So with the 49ers coming off of one of the most thrilling wins in franchise history and poised for an epic showdown with the New York Giants in Sunday's conference championship, now's the time to start hawking Niners tick ... More >>

Alex Smith: We've Still Got Him to Kick Around

Do the Vitamin Water people think this is going to help move the product? ​For San Francisco sports fans, the news that Carlos Beltran may soon be heading to town was tempered somewhat by the fact he could conceivably be rooming with Alex Smith. For parts of six maddening years, Smith has been the ... More >>

Adios, Jimmy Raye. Hello to More 49ers Failure.

Jimmy Raye, told to turn in his playbook​Not long after the San Francisco 49ers' latest debacle, embattled offensive coordinator Jimmy Raye was fired. Fans are left to ponder if his final exit from 49er headquarters was a predicable run up the middle, easily sniffed out by the defense. Sadly, Raye ... More >>

Mike Singletary -- Has He Lost His Mind?

Mike Singletary, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico​Going back to the days of Emperor Norton, San Francisco has been a place that celebrated and made heroes of people who, for lack of a better way of putting it, were deeply off their rockers. The San Francisco Giants are, astound ... More >>

Has Any QB Who Stunk As Bad As Alex Smith Gone On To Success With Same Team?

​When the 49ers drafted Alex Smith with the No. 1 overall pick in 2005, I made a bet with anyone who would take my money: Aaron Rodgers would go on to have a better pro career than either Smith or Matt Leinart. Ostensibly the jury is still out -- but I'd say it's a pretty safe bet that at least a ... More >>

It's Your 49ers Season Opener Drinking Game!

Wallowing in nostalgia -- the habit of 49ers fans everywhere...​The San Francisco 49ers' quest to stumble upwards toward mediocrity, reassert their once-proud tradition, and become something more than a gaggle of oversize, sweaty men wearing tight gold pants commences this weekend. Since beer goes ... More >>

Nate Davis Gets Nod as 49ers' No. 3 Quarterback. But, Once Again, Who Is Nate Davis?

​As we noted a little while ago, if San Francisco 49ers coach Mike Singletary was being literal-minded when he famously bellowed "I want winners!" then he's likely to be disappointed. A gambling Web site recently pegged the Niners' odds of winning the Super Bowl at 55-to-1; this means that Sigleta ... More >>

San Francisco 49ers New On-Field Leader: Department of Public Works Street-Steamer

Tom TracySteve Mahoney has Niners fandom in his blood (as well as ink)​With hopes high that the San Francisco 49ers can, once again, provide as much or more entertainment as the Piccolo Pete's sandwich and clandestine booze fans smuggle into Candlestick Park, the jury is out on who will be the tea ... More >>

Roto-Nerds of the World Rejoice as Fantasy Football Site Spikes NFL in Court

Can you imagine paying licensing fees to use Alex Smith's stats?Aficionados of Pleistocene-era sports video games may remember how "Player No. 16" on the nameless San Francisco team with crimson uniforms was really good -- but the lack of licensing fees forbade any notion of the terms "Joe Montana," ... More >>

So, God Told Kurt Warner to Spurn the 49ers. What Else Did The Almighty Say?

Janine KahnArizona Cardinals quarterback and devout Christian Kurt Warner briefly considered joining the San Francisco 49ers this week, but while he was visiting the Bay Area God apparently told Warner to forget it. "I told my wife probably 45 minutes into it that I just felt God say 'You're suppose ... More >>

FlounderAde

Vitamin drink works for losers.

Cracked Up

The Suckiest NFL Team in the Bay Area Is - The 49ers

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The Chronicles of Ridicule

Only the San Francisco Chronicle makes so many mistakes that it is forced to waste paper partaking in meta-meta-journalism

Offensive Line

Numbers guy and Stanford MBA Paraag Marathe has become a scapegoat for the 49ers' failure, but he's really the future of the NFL

Best Coaching Legacy