Christina Aguilera

The Voice Semi-Finals Recap: Team Blake For The Win! (Again)

Alright, kids. The end is in sight. All of Christina Aguilera's and Adam Levine's team members have been eliminated at this point, so everything comes down to the picks of either Blake Shelton or Cee-Lo Green. We like Team Blake: Scottish rocker Terry McDermott and ex-Hey Monday vocalist Cassadee Po ... More >>

Billie Joe Armstrong Debuts on 'The Voice', Doesn't Say Much

You won't be seeing a lot of Billie Joe Armstrong in person these days -- the Green Day singer is currently in rehab working on some substance abuse issues. But the Oakland rocker's pretaped appearances on NBC singing competition the Voice began airing last night, giving us a first look at how the p ... More >>

Sizzle & Fizzle: Highs and Lows from the Last Week in S.F. Music

Christina Aguilera's "Your Body": Even Tackier Than "Dirrty"

Remember when Christina Aguilera was all oily and gross and rolling around with her crotch out all the time? Talking about wanting to get "Dirrty" and stuff? And how depressing it was because she was so young? Well, new single "Your Body" proudly harks back to Xtina's days of filth -- it's as if Bac ... More >>

Christina Aguilera: The Latest Pop Star To Have Her Way With Marilyn Monroe's Image

I should know better than to step within two time zones of Marilyn Monroe. She has a way of drawing the worst from writers of my gender. Stalwarts from Norman Mailer to Thomas Pynchon have embarrassed themselves, some at greater length than others, trying to mask their macabre and masturbatory impul ... More >>

Sizzle & Fizzle: Highs and Lows from the Last Week in S.F. Music

Billie Joe Armstrong to Become Mentor on 'The Voice'

Well, we certainly didn't see this coming: Rolling Stone reports today (via AP) that Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong will be a mentor on the upcoming season of NBC's hit TV music competition The Voice, helping the members of Christina Aguilera's team sing their best. His primetime TV arriva ... More >>

After 20 Years, Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back" Is Still Huge Because America Loves Asses

There are songs that mention hands, touching numbers that express feelings of giddy togetherness and devilish desire: "Put Your Hands Together" by Eric B. & Rakim, "I'm Throwin' up My Hands" by Rev. Gary Davis. There are songs that mention feet and how they hastily whisk us away or keep us rooted in ... More >>

The Voice Finale Recap: Jermaine Paul Wins; Juliet Simms Was Robbed!

Over two shows last night and Monday, The Voice finally concluded and crowned a winner. As already discussed, we're weren't thrilled with the choices for finalists this year, but loved one of them (Juliet Simms) so much, we were willing to watch four hours of this thing to see how things turned out. ... More >>

The Voice Finale: Dear TV-Watching America, Chris Mann Is Too Dull Even For You

Granted, the show is called The Voice, thus emphasizing contestants' ability to sing; and granted, Chris Mann can expertly render notes given to him on a sheet of music, which many others (probably including his coach, Christina Aguilera) can't do as well; and granted, Mann's Vanderbilt training and ... More >>

The Voice Recap: Relax Everybody -- Finalists Have Been Chosen

Last night, the finalists for NBC's The Voice were finally decided upon, and it was an odd show from the beginning. This thing started on a... really, really low note actually, with finalist from last year, Dia Frampton (should've won -- *cough* -- should've won) performing a song titled "Don't Kick ... More >>

Taylor Momsen's The Pretty Reckless: The 7 Types of People Who Will Go See Them in San Francisco Tonight

​Tonight, ever-controversial rock 'n' rollers The Pretty Reckless are playing Bottom of the Hill. Say what you will about this quartet and its 18-year-old singer, Taylor Momsen -- they attract an audience way more diverse than most. In case you head down to Bottom of the Hill for the former Gossip ... More >>

ABC Announces New Singing Competition; World Sighs

​The last few weeks, we've been DVRing the shit out of the second season of The Voice to ensure we wouldn't miss a second. There is something thoroughly riveting about that show -- partly because of the concept (waiting to see if the judges will turn their chairs around for the contestants) is tot ... More >>

Fire Chief Uncomfortable Getting Strip Clubs' Holiday Money at Fire Station Ceremony

Not in my fire house!​Update (4:53 p.m.): Firefighters will be picking up the check from strip clubs at the union's distribution center today, followed by a reception at the Gold Club.Original Story ( 3 p.m.)Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth.San Francisco Fire Chief Joanne Hayes-White h ... More >>

5 Reasons Limp Bizkit Sucks Less Than You Remember (No, Seriously)

​Okay, everyone. Calm down. We know, we know. While we can't say we were surprised to hear that Limp Bizkit's new album sucks something terrible, it's also undeniably true that, once upon a time, for a very short time, those nookie-obsessed Floridians were kind of awesome. Yes, there was th ... More >>

After The Voice, a New Respect for Christina Aguilera. Really.

We've not always been very kind to Christina Aguilera on this blog. Last time we mentioned her, we accused her of being "wasted out of [her] yodeling, gurning mind", for example. We may have also mentioned that, when Stripped came out, she looked more like Dee Snider from Twisted Sister than Dee Sni ... More >>

A Ke$ha Condom, and Eight More Celebrity-Endorsed Rubbers We'd Use

Prepare for your genitals to feel itchy, because LifeStyles is bringing out a line of Ke$ha condoms. Presumably, the front of the condom packet will have her face on it, accompanied by a catchy tagline -- something to encourage us to use such a product. Something threatening, maybe? Perhaps: "If y ... More >>

The 2011 Grammys, A Timeline: Lady Gaga's Boob Armor, Who Is Lady Antebellum, and What the Hell is Cee-Lo Wearing?

In which we sit through three and a half hours of Grammys twaddle, so you don't have to: 8:01 p.m.: Show opens with an Aretha Franklin montage. Okay... 8:03 p.m.: Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Hudson, Florence Welch, Yolanda Adams, and Martina McBride perform "Natural Woman" together, then take i ... More >>

The Top 6 Most Irritating Uses of a Really High Note in a Song

The moral of this list? Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should do it. Nobody likes a show-off, and nobody enjoys shattered glass and burst eardrums. Here, then, are some proponents of high notes who really should've kept their vocal cords in check.6. Muse, "Micro Cuts"    ... More >>

Five Songs So Distasteful They Make Us Want To Puke in Our Mouths

Last night a new reality show premiered on E! called "Bridalplasty." That's right, "Bridalplasty" - twelve vaguely psychotic (and clearly morbidly insecure) women competing for their dream wedding, and -- good god, we can't believe this is actually happening -- the plastic surgery of their choice. I ... More >>

"Burlesque": Cher and Xtina rehash yesterday's musicals

A List of Michael Jackson Commemoration Events in San Francisco Today

Lynn Goldsmith, provided by San Francisco Art Exchange​Some poor employee at mobile entertainment company Predicto Mobile was asked to come up with 10 text-friendly Michael Jackson songs to be complete asses/butcher classic lyrics honor the pop star's legacy on the one-year anniversary o ... More >>

For Next 17 Years, Call Backstreet Boys A 'Man Band'

​For all you doubters: Backstreet's back, alright? Next week the Boys are heading west to perform at San Francisco Pride and the Warfield Theater. If you asked the guys, though, they'd tell you they were "Never Gone" and "Unbreakable." (Yes, we're reading straight from some of their recent album ... More >>

Summer Bloodbath? The Concert Industry Had It Coming

Was seeing Petty's grin worth the price? Tell us in the comments section​Summer 2010 is turning out to be a bloodbath for the concert industry. As Billboard reports:Individual shows, legs of tours, or entire tours have been canceled or postponed by such artists as U2 (due to Bono's back surgery), ... More >>

Lady Gaga

Gossip trades punk for funk

Rent Boy Ave: A Fairy's Tale confronts realities of urban life, '90s-style

This Is Why You're Fat: A Seriously Icky Collection of Sick Eats

This Is Why You're FatStrangely appealing: The Lord of The Rings.Chuck that snack of organic local strawberries and settle in for the ride. The Web site This Is Why You're Fat (tagline: Where Dreams Become Heart Attacks) is scary, icky, and funny, all at once. What is it? A reader-submitted catalog ... More >>

Tuesday Night: Keys to the City at the Independent

Keys to the City The Independent Tuesday, Dec. 9, 2009 Notes by Jackie Lopez The Independent was chilly on the inside Tuesday night. The venue had left the doors wide open and it just wasn't packed enough for the crowd to steal some body heat from others in attendance. Still, a good number showed u ... More >>

Dream Girl

The making of Malika

Diddy

Press Play (Bad Boy)

Diva Dumbdown

Never Mind the Oxygen Tanks, Here's Guns N' Roses

Five excuses to see Axl Rose's new band

I Am Woman

Four plays redefine the word diva, for good and bad

Tube Boobs

American Dreamz' nation of idiots lands a little close to home

Linda Perry

In Flight

Herbie Hancock

Possibilities

Hipster San Diego

It's not all surf and silicone in America's Finest City

Mission to Bars

Is the Mission really gentrified? Bouncer dives in deep to find out

Grammar School of Rock

Never mind the bollocks, here's $lot Ma¢hine, the newest, meanest punk band in town -- aged 12 and under

Bouncer

If you want to learn about the opposite sex, don't go to a singles bar. Go to a family-friendly place. Go to Hooters.

Bouncer

Find out what dancers at "The Crib" thought of last week's debates

Louie Vega

Elements of Life

Liberty for None

Mandy Moore's likable enough; wish we could say the same about her movie

Prick

Don't hate me because I'm corporate

Of Love and Natalise

She dreams of being the next Janet Jackson, but she's just a Stanford grad who sings syrupy pop, looks absolutely fab, and makes local teens swoon.

Which, come to think of it, may be enough, for everyone involved.

Best Radio Goofs

Sarah & No Name

Show Time for Rug Rats

An audition for America's Most Talented Kid turns up some prodigies, and some very young has-beens.

Soft Pink Sleuth

Matmos' Drew Daniel uncovers the darkness -- and the silliness -- of house music

The Monster Mash-up

2 Many DJ's is never enough