Joe Montana

Treesons Greetings

Clown Unknowingly Had Steve Jobs' Stolen iPad

If you weren't already freaked out by clowns, you may be now. Kenneth Kahn, aka Kenny the Clown, a Fisherman's Warf icon and onetime aspiring mayor, is in trouble with the cops once more. But this time, it's not for his alleged Ed Jew antics or for juggling fire on a skateboard. No, this time, Kenny ... More >>

Outmigration: Only District 6 Retains Its Black Population

If you weren't already freaked out by clowns, you may be now. Kenneth Kahn, aka Kenny the Clown, a Fisherman's Warf icon and onetime aspiring mayor, is in trouble with the cops once more. But this time, it's not for his alleged Ed Jew antics or for juggling fire on a skateboard. No, this time, Kenny ... More >>

49ers Faithfuls, It's Armageddon Sunday at Candlestick Park

​Take it from a Bears fan, there ain't no better rivalry in football, maybe in all of professional sports, than the San Francisco 49ers and the New York Giants. No two teams have had so many epic battles, so many knock-down, drag-out fights, as the 49ers and Giants. Both teams have to be among t ... More >>

49ers-Giants: The Biggest Games

It's hard to be nostalgic when you don't remember anything. It's also hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything. Vernon Davis, who made what is being dubbed "The Catch III," was several years shy of being born when Dwight Clark made "The Catch." But fans -- we remember. We remember every ... More >>

The Old Guard

It's hard to be nostalgic when you don't remember anything. It's also hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything. Vernon Davis, who made what is being dubbed "The Catch III," was several years shy of being born when Dwight Clark made "The Catch." But fans -- we remember. We remember every ... More >>

The Old Guard

It's hard to be nostalgic when you don't remember anything. It's also hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything. Vernon Davis, who made what is being dubbed "The Catch III," was several years shy of being born when Dwight Clark made "The Catch." But fans -- we remember. We remember every ... More >>

Sizzle & Fizzle: Highs and lows from this week in S.F. music

It's hard to be nostalgic when you don't remember anything. It's also hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything. Vernon Davis, who made what is being dubbed "The Catch III," was several years shy of being born when Dwight Clark made "The Catch." But fans -- we remember. We remember every ... More >>

Photos: Neil Young, Will.I.am, Joanna Newsom, and Stevie Wonder Hung Out in S.F. This Week

Neil Young.​We missed Neil Young's benefit show for the UCSF Benioff Children's Hospital at Nob Hill Masonic Center Wednesday night, which was too bad: Among others, Stevie Wonder, Will.I.am, Joe Montana, Colin Powell, and, of course, performers Neil Young and Joanna Newsom showed up. The event ra ... More >>

49ers Never Had 'Rivalry' With Rams

The Rams were good ... but the 49ers were the best​Heading into Sunday's nifty 49ers win over the St. Louis Rams, local TV stations showed plenty of nostalgia-inducing clips of Roger Craig high-stepping, Joe Montana hurling slant after slant to Jerry Rice, and Carlton Williamson or Ronnie Lott rac ... More >>

Jerry Rice -- My Favorite Memory

Gracias, Jerry​With Jerry Rice, San Francisco 49ers fans had it all. The best player with the best work ethic playing for the best team. It was, well, the best. Rice will be inducted into the pro football Hall of Fame tomorrow. But for your humble narrator, utter the words "Jerry Rice" and a very ... More >>

Joe Montana Just Another Wealthy Empty-Nester Moving to San Francisco

The atypical Joe Montana...​In almost every respect, Joe Montana is not typical. Typical men aren't deified in their own lifetimes. Typical men don't have four Super Bowl rings. Typical men don't talk about going upstairs to masturbate in a pantheon-level Saturday Night Live-sketch.  But, in ... More >>

Has Any QB Who Stunk As Bad As Alex Smith Gone On To Success With Same Team?

​When the 49ers drafted Alex Smith with the No. 1 overall pick in 2005, I made a bet with anyone who would take my money: Aaron Rodgers would go on to have a better pro career than either Smith or Matt Leinart. Ostensibly the jury is still out -- but I'd say it's a pretty safe bet that at least a ... More >>

Newsom Baby Arrives: It's a ... State!

Mayor Gavin Newsom and his wife, Jennifer Siebel Newsom, popped out a 20.5 inch long, 7 pound 12 ounce baby girl today at 12:39 p.m.The baby, whose name was apparently being kept secret under threat of retribution, is Montana Tessa Newsom, named for the state in which the couple got married. (What i ... More >>

Behind the Bar at Perry's, Da Mayor Turns Into Da Bee-otch

JinkyBurns/FlickrWillie: Not feelin' the gray hairs who showed up at Perry's.​Perry's owner Perry Butler must have been thrilled when he read ex-mayor Willie Brown's take in yesterday's Chron about his guest stint as bartender during the restaurant's 40th birthday celebration last Friday: "On ... More >>

Roto-Nerds of the World Rejoice as Fantasy Football Site Spikes NFL in Court

Can you imagine paying licensing fees to use Alex Smith's stats?Aficionados of Pleistocene-era sports video games may remember how "Player No. 16" on the nameless San Francisco team with crimson uniforms was really good -- but the lack of licensing fees forbade any notion of the terms "Joe Montana," ... More >>

Vehicles Plucked from Money-Hemorrhaging Culture Bus Line Gather Dust in Muni Yard

Ridership will not arrive today. Maybe tomorrow. Last week, the local papers -- and blogs -- wrote their latest round of stories about how Muni's Culture Bus program is blowing through money faster than a meth addict with six girlfriends. This, along with "What are those bastards at AIG doing with o ... More >>

October book events: Litquake, Spain Rodriguez, and Stuff White People Like.

Ridership will not arrive today. Maybe tomorrow. Last week, the local papers -- and blogs -- wrote their latest round of stories about how Muni's Culture Bus program is blowing through money faster than a meth addict with six girlfriends. This, along with "What are those bastards at AIG doing with o ... More >>

RaidersSuckNinersSuck: Week 5

Ridership will not arrive today. Maybe tomorrow. Last week, the local papers -- and blogs -- wrote their latest round of stories about how Muni's Culture Bus program is blowing through money faster than a meth addict with six girlfriends. This, along with "What are those bastards at AIG doing with o ... More >>

RaidersSuckNinersSuck -- Week 4

Ridership will not arrive today. Maybe tomorrow. Last week, the local papers -- and blogs -- wrote their latest round of stories about how Muni's Culture Bus program is blowing through money faster than a meth addict with six girlfriends. This, along with "What are those bastards at AIG doing with o ... More >>

Trick Play

NFL greats shake off the rust in All-Pro Football

The Drug-Sucker Proxy

NFL greats shake off the rust in All-Pro Football

Hustle & Flow

He can defend and fly with the best of them. But can the rookie straight out of high school stick in the NBA?

Quite the Catch

Montana's Excellence

More At 11:00

An Exclusive Look at Secret Plans for Revolutionary Change in San Francisco Television News

Readers' Poll

Your choices for the Best of San Francisco 2001

Coulda Been a Contender

Scrounging for cash in the strangest places, the creators of the karate-themed Adventures With Kanga Roddy children's TV series infuriate investors

Night Crawler

Eat, Drink, and Be Wary

Fish Story

Red Herring Editor Tony Perkins is a self-described maverick, a stylish fast-talker with a knack for making friends and influencing people in the high-tech world. Not bad traits for a Silicon Valley entrepreneur, but are they what it takes to publish a "m

Slap Shots

Red Herring Editor Tony Perkins is a self-described maverick, a stylish fast-talker with a knack for making friends and influencing people in the high-tech world. Not bad traits for a Silicon Valley entrepreneur, but are they what it takes to publish a "m

Slap Shots

Red Herring Editor Tony Perkins is a self-described maverick, a stylish fast-talker with a knack for making friends and influencing people in the high-tech world. Not bad traits for a Silicon Valley entrepreneur, but are they what it takes to publish a "m

Samples

Red Herring Editor Tony Perkins is a self-described maverick, a stylish fast-talker with a knack for making friends and influencing people in the high-tech world. Not bad traits for a Silicon Valley entrepreneur, but are they what it takes to publish a "m

Lash Them With the On-Line!

Red Herring Editor Tony Perkins is a self-described maverick, a stylish fast-talker with a knack for making friends and influencing people in the high-tech world. Not bad traits for a Silicon Valley entrepreneur, but are they what it takes to publish a "m

Mal on the Street

Verbal Prankster Mal Sharpe and his partner, Jim Coyle, bushwacked San Francisco in the early '60s, posing absurd man-in-the street questions to the unsuspecting. Taping the encounters, the dup invented a shtick that was part comedy, part performance art

Slap Shots

Verbal Prankster Mal Sharpe and his partner, Jim Coyle, bushwacked San Francisco in the early '60s, posing absurd man-in-the street questions to the unsuspecting. Taping the encounters, the dup invented a shtick that was part comedy, part performance art