Mitt Romney

Awaiting the Vote with a Drink at Hillstone

Chick-fil-A Opening Gives Disappointed Republicans Something to Celebrate

What better place for beleaguered Mitt Romney fans and other gay-hating folks to wallow in their post-election sorrows than a brand spankin' new Chick-fil-A? Dozens of chicken lovers (or gay marriage haters) gathered outside the new Walnut Creek chicken restaurant yesterday to celebrate the opening ... More >>

Marijuana's Victory in Colorado, Washington Means California Will Follow Soon

An end to America's experiment with marijuana prohibition is in sight, after voters in Colorado and Washington approved re-legalizing the plant Tuesday. In California, where voters said "no" to adult-legal marijuana in 2010, the decisive passages of Amendment 64 in Colorado (54 percent yes to 4 ... More >>

Bay Area Cat Craps in Litter Box Marked With Mitt Romney's Name

We already know how Bay Area dogs feel about Mitt Romney, but nobody considered the cat vote until now. NBC brings this phenomenal election report about Mr. Nuts, a Fremont feline who took a dump on Mitt Romney, thus predicting Obama's victory tonight. The cat's owner, Michael Ostrofsky, gave Mr. Nu ... More >>

Obama Is President Again

Mitt Romney hasn't yet conceded, but ... it's safe to say Barack Obama will grace America with another four years as our leader. According to news outlets everywhere, Obama was reelected president after winning the battleground state of Ohio. While Romney was looking for his concession speech that h ... More >>

In Colorado, Marijuana Candidate Gary Johnson Aims To Be Obama's Nader

During his two terms as New Mexico governor, Gary Johnson was best known for two things: vetoing nearly half of the bills that reached his desk and advocating for marijuana legalization.Now, as the Libertarian candidate for president and man of the hour for bereft, Johnson is angling to become forev ... More >>

Partisan Breadmaking: Baking Up a President at Feel Good Bakery

During his two terms as New Mexico governor, Gary Johnson was best known for two things: vetoing nearly half of the bills that reached his desk and advocating for marijuana legalization.Now, as the Libertarian candidate for president and man of the hour for bereft, Johnson is angling to become forev ... More >>

San Francisco Giants 2012 World Series Prop Bets

It's been a thrilling playoff run for the Giants. So much so that, by now, many fans may be numb to basic ebbs and flows of a baseball game. For those needing an extra jolt, here are some totally arbitrary prop bets for the 2012 World Series:

Presidential Debates: The Top 5 Internet Memes

The presidential debates always give voters so much more than insight about the candidates -- it gives them fodder, and more fodder to turn political discourse into Internet entertainment.   And after last night's final debate -- which included and some fun stuff, like horses and bayonets and M ... More >>

Bake-Off: Obama and Romney Loaves Go Head-to-Head in Alameda

If you're the type who'd rather be caught dead than drinking 7-Eleven coffee, but still want to show your support for your favorite presidential candidate (the convenience store chain claims that their unofficial coffee cup poll has successfully predicted the presidency in the last three elections), ... More >>

Debate: Even This Heart-Shaped Crotch Shot Couldn't Help Romney

President Obama and Mitt Romney squared off last night for the second presidential debate, fighting over all the things Americans argue about while boozing at the bar -- immigration, women's rights, and money. And while Romney was getting his ass handed to him over technicalities like how many days ... More >>

Sizzle & Fizzle: Highs and Lows from the Last Week in S.F. Music

President Obama and Mitt Romney squared off last night for the second presidential debate, fighting over all the things Americans argue about while boozing at the bar -- immigration, women's rights, and money. And while Romney was getting his ass handed to him over technicalities like how many days ... More >>

"Wait a Minute": Chris Webby is a Sexist Idiot; Kid Ink is a Romney Wannabe

You know what the world needs desperately right now? More songs that talk about all-encompassing greed like it's a good thing, with a side of horrifying 1950s-level sexism. Yeah. The world needs that about as much as it needs Mitt Romney winning the next election. As such, today's worst new song of ... More >>

Our Most Corrupt Tax Breaks: 10 Loopholes to Close Right Now

You know what the world needs desperately right now? More songs that talk about all-encompassing greed like it's a good thing, with a side of horrifying 1950s-level sexism. Yeah. The world needs that about as much as it needs Mitt Romney winning the next election. As such, today's worst new song of ... More >>

Obama Stops in San Francisco, Informs Crowd That Elmo Is Headed for the Border

During his stop in San Francisco yesterday, President Obama continued the aggressive Sesame Street rhetoric that's really upped the ante in this year's presidential election. Obama just couldn't help himself after last week's debate when Romney trashed on poor people and Big Bird. In case you didn't ... More >>

Debate 2012: Romney and Obama Attack, Jim Lehrer Loses Control -- the Media Room View

In case you were too busy last night mapping out your traffic route for the upcoming weekend of chaos in San Francisco, here's your recap of the presidential debates. President Barack Obama and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney squared off inside the University of Denver's Magness Arena last n ... More >>

Good Dog, Bad Romney: PAC of Pooches to Protest Republican Candidate This Weekend

You think you're upset over how Mitt Romney's been smack-talking about the poor. Dog lovers across the Bay Area are even more disturbed by the way he treats pups.Because this is the Bay Area, where people likes dogs more than kids, a group of canines and their owners are planning to gather at the do ... More >>

Here's How Many Californians Are "Freeloading," As Mitt Romney Would Say

Mitt Romney has foolishly decided that 47 percent of Americans are freeloaders (aka bums, leeches, mooches). But what he has been less clear about is who are these government bloodsuckers? How does one really define a "freeloader?"From the really rich man himself:

Romney, Obama Rubber Halloween Masks Sales Will Reveal the Next President

When you hear Mitt Romney refer to poor people as deadbeat freeloaders, that's when you know for sure politics has gone to a whole new level of scary.The only thing that might make Romney appear more ghoulish is if he donned this kinda frightening rubber Mitt Romney Halloween mask while talking smac ... More >>

G.O.O.D. Music's Cruel Summer: A First Listen

Kanye West has officially become the bad guy, people. He's rich, he's rude, he's entitled, he's a rock 'n' roll legend who's awaiting a legit artistic backlash any year now, and he's also a smart businessperson. After Taylor Swift-gate and record sales of his third Pazz & Jop-winning "masterpiece" f ... More >>

How Obama and Romney Are Presiding Over the Death of the Campaign Song

Last week in Charlotte, Bill Clinton stepped to a podium in front of his party's delegation and delivered a speech. Maybe you saw it? What I remember are words -- lots of words. Some of them wrapped around statistics, others glaring back at me like bumper stickers on chrome. Clinton's words flowed f ... More >>

Campaign Ads Obama and Romney Wish They Could Run

Some time over the next 60-plus days, it's more likely than not that you'll see some over-promoted ads that probably won't do much to help either presidential candidate -- they never really do. But, what would probably up the ante in this year's election is if we eliminated all the "American Dream" ... More >>

Asian and Latino Population Growth Isn't Translating into Votes Just Yet

Over the past few years, political journalists and social scientists have pointed out a critical flaw in the GOP's rightward lurch: with staunch anti-immigration, anti-social service, and anti-reproductive rights policies, as well as hostile racially coded rhetoric, the party risks losing women and ... More >>

RNC 2012: The Seven Craziest GOP Souvenirs at the Republican National Convention

Our sister paper, the Miami New Times, descended on the Republican National Convention this week to see what things the country's right-wingers were doing and wearing. And thank God they did because now we can regale you with a slideshow of Tampa's finest moments.Tampa's rich with GOP swag this week ... More >>

More Foreclosures in a Community Means Lower Voter Turnout, Says Study

History will eventually figure out the social implications of the foreclosure crisis -- its longterm effect on the wealth gap between minorities and white people, its role in gentrification, whether it permanently alters the popular conception of the America Dream, etc.Some early returns are in. A s ... More >>

Fear and Loathing in Tampa: A Guide to the Republican National Convention

History will eventually figure out the social implications of the foreclosure crisis -- its longterm effect on the wealth gap between minorities and white people, its role in gentrification, whether it permanently alters the popular conception of the America Dream, etc.Some early returns are in. A s ... More >>

Barbara Boxer Diagnoses Todd Akin, Republican Party With Mommy Issues

Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.) took a brief break from politics yesterday and tapped into her inner Freud to conclude that all of this Republican crazy talk about rape and abortions is a sure sign that members of the GOP -- specifically Todd Akin -- suffer from some kind of weird mother fixation.The ... More >>

SF Weekly Letters

Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.) took a brief break from politics yesterday and tapped into her inner Freud to conclude that all of this Republican crazy talk about rape and abortions is a sure sign that members of the GOP -- specifically Todd Akin -- suffer from some kind of weird mother fixation.The ... More >>

Mitt Romney: How Much Money Did He Earn While You Ate Breakfast?

There's a reason voters believe Obama would make a better sugar daddy -- Mitt Romney is not as charitable with his cash. Not even if it means getting a lap dance from porn stars like Jenna Jameson. But just how many Benjamins is Romney rolling in these days? And how much did Romney earn in the time ... More >>

Mitt Romney Trashes California, Comparing Golden State to Financially Screwed Europe

Mitt Romney is in trouble with California Democrats -- not that he really cares. The Republican Presidential candidate was heard popping off again, but this time he was trashing California instead of Palestine. While speaking to a group of Iowans, Romney talked about how another four years with Obam ... More >>

Jenna Jameson, Queen of Porn, Endorses Mitt Romney, Incites Political Discourse

Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney managed to -- literally -- sex up his campaign without even trying. It turns out that the Queen of Porn, Jenna Jameson, proudly admitted to a San Francisco reporter that she is definitely voting for Romney come election day. The Los Angeles-based porn st ... More >>

Jealous Boyfriend Allegedly Beats Woman After Seeing Photo of Mitt Romney on Her Facebook

No matter how many pennies we toss into the fountain, there's not a chance in hell we'd be lucky enough to wake up and have no clue who Mitt Romney is. However, this charming Tennessee man to your right only recently learned about Romney while he was in jail. He also just so happened to learn that i ... More >>

Mayor Ed Lee to Explain What's So Great About Obama's Tax Plan

Since President Obama is tied up in NYC and can't swing another trip to the left coast to shake us down for more support money, San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee has taken it upon himself to serve as the president's proxy. The mayor has scheduled a coffee date tomorrow with voters where he plans to explain ... More >>

Texas-Based Evangelical Apocalyptic Paper Claims Mitt Romney and Obama Are Evil Twins

It's hard to find evangelical Christians in the media who come off as more questionable than our very own Harold Camping. But there's one place you can be sure to dig one up ... and that's in Texas. The Power of Prophecy, an arguably unreliable Austin-based publication, was kind enough to ship us it ... More >>

Obama Would Be a Much Better Sugar Daddy Than Romney, Female Voters Say

One quality voters probably don't consider in their next president is whether he would make a good sugar daddy. But with so much money tossed around in presidential races, why shouldn't ladies entertain the idea? According to a new survey, they have! SeekingArrangement.com, the world's largest sugar ... More >>

Mitt Romney's Campaign Really Should Be Hooked on Phonics

If Mitt Romney's campaign has demonstrated anything to the American public since he became the Republican nominee, it's that nobody over there could win a fourth grade spelling bee. Yes, spelling might be hard for some people, but hiring a proofreader isn't, especially if you have a natural proclivi ... More >>

Guess Which SF Neighborhood Has Been Most Generous to President Obama

President Barack Obama swung through the Bay Area last week like a college kid driving home for the weekend to do laundry. His stops hovered in the south Bay, in San Jose, Redwood City, and Atherton, where he held a rally and hosted the typical Expensive Dinners for Wealthy People. Obviously, Oba ... More >>

Mitt Romney Makes Himself Right at Home in Wealthy Hillsborough

Remember what happened last time Mitt Romney made a trip to the liberal bastion of the Bay Area? Those raging grannies et al went after him for being the billionaire he is, dressing in fake fur and mocking rich boys like him. So we can only imagine -- or hope -- what they might have planned for the ... More >>

Gary Johnson, Libertarian Candidate, Gives Marijuana Supporters an Alternative to Republicans

Will Ron Paul Supporters Follow?For all the love showered upon him by cannabis and hemp activists, Ron Paul was always going to be a bitter pill for liberals to swallow. On the surface, the straight-talking Texan sounded good for voters weary with mainstream party choices: The long-tenured Congressm ... More >>

SF Weekly Letters

Will Ron Paul Supporters Follow?For all the love showered upon him by cannabis and hemp activists, Ron Paul was always going to be a bitter pill for liberals to swallow. On the surface, the straight-talking Texan sounded good for voters weary with mainstream party choices: The long-tenured Congressm ... More >>

SF Weekly Letters

Will Ron Paul Supporters Follow?For all the love showered upon him by cannabis and hemp activists, Ron Paul was always going to be a bitter pill for liberals to swallow. On the surface, the straight-talking Texan sounded good for voters weary with mainstream party choices: The long-tenured Congressm ... More >>

American Parasite: Romney's Bain Represents Capitalism's Worst

Will Ron Paul Supporters Follow?For all the love showered upon him by cannabis and hemp activists, Ron Paul was always going to be a bitter pill for liberals to swallow. On the surface, the straight-talking Texan sounded good for voters weary with mainstream party choices: The long-tenured Congressm ... More >>

Peter Magowan, Former Giants President, Among Romney's Top Bay Area Donors

Californians would have loved 2002 Mitt Romney. That guy was the bleeding heart who pushed universal health care in his state; the conservationist who would attack a coal plant by saying "I will not create jobs that kill people!"; a man who signed a Planned Parenthood candidate questionnaire affirmi ... More >>

Mitt Romney Visits Bay Area to Get as Far Away from Obamacare Debate As He Can

​While the U.S. Supreme Court debates the constitutionality of Obamacare over in D.C., GOP presidential hopeful Mitt Romney has made sure to keep his distance from the debate -- literally. The former Massachusetts governor, who has been criticized himself over "Romneycare," traveled some 3,000 mil ... More >>

Santorum Gaining Ground Among California GOP Voters

​Mitt Romney, the leading contender for the GOP presidential nomination, has to watch his back among voters in California's Republican primary, according to a new poll.The poll from the Public Policy Institute of California shows that U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum is surging here, and is closing the dis ... More >>

Mitt Romney Will Win Republicans Over By Teaming Up With Nancy Pelosi

Mitt Romney is all set to be the Republican nominee for president, except for one stubborn hitch: Republican primary voters -- like most people -- don't like him, perhaps because he's actually an actor playing a presidential candidate on a soap opera in 1986. Instead, lately, lots of Republicans se ... More >>

Mormons: A Shallow Yet Helpful Guide to See If You Should Hate Them or Not

Mitt Romney is all set to be the Republican nominee for president, except for one stubborn hitch: Republican primary voters -- like most people -- don't like him, perhaps because he's actually an actor playing a presidential candidate on a soap opera in 1986. Instead, lately, lots of Republicans se ... More >>

Fiona Ma for President?

Now that Barack Obama has crossed the non-WASP-in-the-White House threshold, which other minority groups might get to produce a president? Mark Oppenheimer explores the question on Slate.com.. Bemusingly, Slate.com readers quickly called Oppenheimer out on his own racial insensitivity because ... More >>

Latter-Gay Saints

Carol Lynn Pearson's gay Mormon drama sets the static and the fluid in bold opposition. Unfortunately, the static wins out.