NFC West

Michelle Obama Caught "Kaepernicking" on Camera With 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick

On Tuesday, 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick posted a photo of himself and First Lady Michelle Obama "Kaepernicking" while at the White House. Per the football star: I got the opportunity to meet one of the greatest women in the world, the first lady @first_Obama and even got her #Kaepernicking

Chris Culliver's Anti-Gay Rant Eerily Reminiscent of Garrison Hearst's Anti-Gay Rant

Earlier today, we wrote about how, according to Facebook users' "like" selections, the vast majority of the nation is pulling for the 49ers in the upcoming Super Bowl. Well, that all may change. San Francisco cornerback Chris Culliver told us what he really thinks when it comes to sharing the locker ... More >>

Boone, SF's Football-Loving Rhino, to Eat the Baltimore Ravens for Breakfast This Week

In support of the San Francisco 49ers hard-earned ascension to the Super Bowl XLVII, the San Francisco Zoo has invited media folks to watch its black rhino, Boone, snack on some Baltimore Ravens for breakfast later this week. And those are one of the many strange perks of being a reporter. Obviou ... More >>

Local Artist Makes Ocean Beach Actually Look Pretty

The only thing we could possibly enjoy looking at more than a rhino eat the Baltimore Ravens for breakfast, is good art, although some might consider the rhino scene art. Lucky for us, we get to see both. Local photog David Cruz captures the "wow" in San Francisco with these very enchanting image ... More >>

Smuggler's Cove: Find Safe Harbor in a Rum Cocktail

Here's Your Chance to Help Kids and Dogs This Holiday Season

So 2012 was a bad year for you -- you lost your job or your home, or maybe you lost both your job and your home -- in that order. But here's your chance to end the year on a good note and do something great for everyone, yourself included. You can start by donating some new toys to San Francisco's ... More >>

Bear Necessities: S.F. Prepares for Hard-Drinking Football Fans

The 49ers Lost on Sunday, but at Least Their Cars Weren't Stolen

It was the 49ers' most lopsided loss of the Jim Harbaugh-era. The New York Giants ran the ball effectively and made Alex Smith look like the old Alex Smith, all the while closing the always-trivial Power Rankings gap with the Falcons (dominant 26-3 win in SF > close 23-20 home win over the Raider ... More >>

Hiding in Plain Sight: A Homicide Suspect Spent Four Years on the Lam

49ers Make It Gets Better Video for LGBT Youth

The San Francisco 49ers gave their fans new reason to cheer them on. The team became the first in the NFL to make its own It Gets Better video, calling on the nation the stop bullying LGBT youth. The football team released the minute-long video today, which shows clips of defensive tackles Ricky Jea ... More >>

iPads for School Lunches: SFUSD Woos Applicants with Prizes

SFPD Cancels Scheduled Sobriety Checkpoints, Instead Will Focus on North Beach Drunks

San Francisco police will be out in force this weekend, just not in the places you were expecting to see them. Sgt. Michael Andraychak tells us that there's been a little change of plans for the 17-day crackdown on drunks on the roads. Instead of sobriety checkpoints on the south side of town, cops ... More >>

Sixty Ways to Celebrate Mayor Ed Lee's 60th Birthday

Tomorrow is Mayor Ed Lee's 60th birthday. And, in lieu of a politician's traditional birthday celebration -- a cake, served discreetly in an envelope left beneath the table -- Lee's staff has come up with a novel concept. They have created a website listing 60 things you and I can do to help Lee hel ... More >>

Hate Expectations: Police and Prosecutors Are Quick to Claim the Presence of Racism — but Juries Are Not So Sure

You Know You Love it: 7 Best Chain Restaurants in S.F. Bay Area

We love fancy food as much as the next San Francisco asshole, but there are times when we just wants an enormous plate of mediocre slop. Every now and then we need to walk into a place that looks the same in S.F. as it does in Des Moines, and we need to order 52 plates of mozzarella sticks and a sma ... More >>

Mike Singletary Is Fired -- And We Should Have Seen It Coming

Tough luck, Sing​Newly ex-San Francisco 49ers coach Mike Singletary's career in management may end up being best remembered for his iconic "I want winners" tirade -- and the inevitable Coors Light commercials it will spawn. Many otherwise sane and sensible observers predicted big things from the 4 ... More >>

Will NFC West Champ Be Worst Playoff Team Ever?

BrokenSphereCoach Mike Singeltary famously stated 'I want winners.' He's not getting them.​No one who watched the San Francisco 49ers get themselves folded, spindled, and mutilated last night in San Diego probably stopped to think, "Hey, that looks like a playoff team there." And yet, due to the h ... More >>

49ers-Broncos 'Spygate' Story Boggles the Mind

Sadly, not even cheating allowed the Denver Broncos to slap these on with pride...​The revelation that the Denver Broncos saw fit to clandestinely record the San Francisco 49ers practice sessions -- yet still lost -- is a story that truly makes not one bit of sense. First of all, even the Niners ... More >>

49ers Never Had 'Rivalry' With Rams

The Rams were good ... but the 49ers were the best​Heading into Sunday's nifty 49ers win over the St. Louis Rams, local TV stations showed plenty of nostalgia-inducing clips of Roger Craig high-stepping, Joe Montana hurling slant after slant to Jerry Rice, and Carlton Williamson or Ronnie Lott rac ... More >>

Only In S.F.: Gay, Rabbinical School Dropout Deemed Too Conservative

​In recent weeks, we've pointed out that people are largely free to fornicate on the streets of San Francisco -- but dogs cannot. Prosecutors struggle to convict vandals -- as juries state that graffiti is not vandalism, but "art." So, along those lines, only in San Francisco could a gay, rabbinic ... More >>

49ers-Broncos Game in London Shaping Up to Be Epic Stinkbomb

No matter what, a Smith will be the 49ers' QB​The announcement that Troy Smith will be under center for the 49ers in their forthcoming "home" contest vs. the Denver Broncos in London seals the deal: This may be the worst thing we've ever done to the British since convincing them to join us on our ... More >>

Let It Bleed

The city is awash in red ink, thanks to billion-dollar benefit giveaways and our politicians' lack of will.

Adios, Jimmy Raye. Hello to More 49ers Failure.

Jimmy Raye, told to turn in his playbook​Not long after the San Francisco 49ers' latest debacle, embattled offensive coordinator Jimmy Raye was fired. Fans are left to ponder if his final exit from 49er headquarters was a predicable run up the middle, easily sniffed out by the defense. Sadly, Raye ... More >>

Mayoral candidate Harold Miller's eye-catching advice on race relations

Mayoral Candidate Harold Miller Wants to Teach Asians to 'Look Blacks in the Eye'

​An unknown number of San Franciscans received an introduction to one Harold Miller yesterday, when the little-known mayoral candidate sent out an e-mail illuminating the masses on just how he'd clean up this town. When Miller rails against the "crazy laws the Board of Supervisors put on the books ... More >>

Her House Divided

The most powerful female politician in the country now teeters between long-term victory and instant defeat.

Jerry Rice -- My Favorite Memory

Gracias, Jerry​With Jerry Rice, San Francisco 49ers fans had it all. The best player with the best work ethic playing for the best team. It was, well, the best. Rice will be inducted into the pro football Hall of Fame tomorrow. But for your humble narrator, utter the words "Jerry Rice" and a very ... More >>

United Football League Fashion Show!

Jon Dion OwensIs it really better to look good than to feel good? ​There is no old-timers day in modeling. Twiggy and Cheryl Tiegs do not prance down the catwalk after the cruel standards of their industry deem them old and unsuitable. There is an old-timers day, however, for the men who model foo ... More >>

List: S.F. bans water, pets, and ... LOLcats?

Joe Montana Just Another Wealthy Empty-Nester Moving to San Francisco

The atypical Joe Montana...​In almost every respect, Joe Montana is not typical. Typical men aren't deified in their own lifetimes. Typical men don't have four Super Bowl rings. Typical men don't talk about going upstairs to masturbate in a pantheon-level Saturday Night Live-sketch.  But, in ... More >>

List: The best democracy money can buy

49ers' Exit Would Save SF Money

Chris Roberts/SF Appeal.comWhatever​Added to the burgeoning pile of "pros" in a San-Francisco-49ers-departing-San-Francisco pro-con list is this snippet, courtesy of The Examiner: should the football team play its home games in Santa Clara (the city in which the team already spends 340 days a year ... More >>

There Was an Election Last Night. As if You Gave a ****

At least Coakley's people hit the streets. And that dude​ San Francisco, there was an election last night. And you went to the polls. Or at least some of you did. You also went to happy hour, the laundromat, or maybe the refrigerator. Wherever you went, whatever you did, three out of four of you f ... More >>

City's Plan to Keep 49ers: Wait and Hope Team, Santa Clara Are Broke

We'll spare you the football jargon, but suffice to say the San Francisco 49ers took a huge step towards saying goodbye to Candlestick Park on Tuesday night. Voters in Santa Clara approved at the ballot a land lease deal for a proposed $937 million stadium by a nearly 2-to-1 margin. Of that $937 mil ... More >>

Former 49er Roger Craig Has a Fishing Show?

Roger Craig has gone from beating The Fish in Super Bowl XIX to catching them on TV​If you had asked us which member of the San Francisco 49ers glory teams would have his own fishing show, Roger Craig would not have been our first guess, or even our 33rd guess. But, alas, the high-kneed, saucer-ey ... More >>

'Melrose Place' Actress, 49ers Linebacker Among Gavin Newsom's Top Donors

Actress Daphne Zuniga, seen here as 'Princess Vespa,' thinks Gavin Newsom is the best lieutenat governor candidate in the galaxy​As goes Daphne Zuniga goes the lieutenant governor's race -- or so Gavin Newsom would hope. We reported earlier today that San Francisco's mayor has both the internal po ... More >>

Your Dream of Being Injured Playing Pro Football May Not Be Dead

Jim HerdCould this be you? ​San Francisco's participation in the fledgling United Football League was brief -- three home games and some surreal memories of a 90-percent empty AT&T Park populated by fans wearing highlighter-green uniforms. But that's no reason that San Francisco-area old farts ... More >>

'Rally' Today -- in Bar -- To Keep 49ers in S.F.

How much would it be worth to San Francisco to keep plays like this within city limits? ​If ever there's a man to liken shepherding a development to completion in San Francisco to pulling teeth, Mike Antonini is him. He's been a planning commissioner for eight years -- and he's a dentist. So Anton ... More >>

The Worst-Run Big City in the U.S.

Spend more. Get less. We're the city that knows how.

Beat the Crabs!

Baggage

The city's politicos made the enviros happy by banning plastic bags, but left us with more pollution and cost

Cracked Up

Feeling Crabby

Must we love everything about S.F. -- even the Dungeness?

Holiday Gift Guide

See No Evil

S.F. Archbishop William Levada styles himself as a leading advocate for openness among Catholic leaders on the clergy sex-abuse issue. So why doesn't he practice what he preaches?

Luke Brugnara Makes His Point

All the city's most bombastic commercial landlord wants is a San Francisco-themed casino in Las Vegas ... or absolute misery for anyone who gets in his way

All That Glitters

Asia de Cuba

Who Is Clint Reilly, Really?

He's running for mayor again, and this time he wants to define himself, before his enemies do it for him

Online Pirates of the Caribbean

Three San Francisco men found riches in Antiqua with their Internet gambling site. Now they're federal fugitives. Caribbean

Just Eat It

Ton Kiang