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Blogs
May 23, 2012
How to Deal With Airport Security When You're a Famous Musician
The problem with being famous and getting special treatment everywhere you go is that you sometimes forget that rules actually apply to you. Yes, music stars, we know you think you're more important than the rest of us plebeians, but make no mistake about it: In the eyes of airport security, you're ... More >>
Blogs
May 18, 2012
Five Potentially Unhealthy Music-Related Fashion Trends
Humans will always enjoy reflecting their musical tastes via the medium of their clothes. And fashion lunatics will tell you that suffering is all part of being beautiful. But if you want to see out of both eyes, keep your ankles fully functioning, and still have babies on day, we suggest you read o ... More >>
Blogs
April 27, 2012
LMFAO Wants to Make a Movie: We Make Five Predictions About It
As you are no doubt already aware, the members of LMFAO are complete and utter imbeciles. So the news that they are "thinking about" making a movie should horrify us all to our very core. Know this, everybody: They "have been putting [it] out into the universe for a minute." A whole minute! Think ab ... More >>
News
April 25, 2012
SF Weekly Letters
As you are no doubt already aware, the members of LMFAO are complete and utter imbeciles. So the news that they are "thinking about" making a movie should horrify us all to our very core. Know this, everybody: They "have been putting [it] out into the universe for a minute." A whole minute! Think ab ... More >>
Blogs
April 24, 2012
Before Iggy Pop: Five Artists' Memorable And/Or Awful Attempts to Sing in French
On May 9th, Iggy Pop is releasing his latest album. Woo-hoo! But wait. Simmer down. The record is called Après and it will be comprised mostly of French cover versions -- Edith Piaf and Serge Gainsbourg songs included. We applaud Iggy's ongoing enthusiasm for multi-culturalism and bilingual experim ... More >>
Blogs
April 20, 2012
The Tupac Hologram Is Terrifying and Distasteful. Let's Stop This Madness Now.
On Sunday, April 15, 2012, the world officially entered science fiction-land. Sure, iPods are pretty futuristic, GPS is spy magic from space, and we all have stupidly intelligent phones now, but nothing has felt quite as much like living in a Buck Rogers episode than when Tupac got resurrected in ho ... More >>
Blogs
April 19, 2012
Live Review, 4/18/12: Refused Roar Back to Life at the Warfield
Refused The Hives The Bronx Wednesday, April 18, 2012 The Warfield, San Francisco Better than: Listening to metal at Ikea. For the uninitiated amongst you, know this: Refused changed everything. For this writer, it was sitting in a living room in the North of England in 1999 with 10 people in tiny ... More >>
Blogs
April 17, 2012
The Top 20 Greatest San Francisco Musicians, #15-11
See also: * The Top 20 Greatest San Francisco Musicians, Nos. 20 to 16 Here we are with the second installment of our list of the 20 greatest San Francisco musicians ever. (If you missed yesterday's first edition, check it out here.) Note that to qualify for this list, artists had to have a strong ... More >>
Blogs
April 4, 2012
Six Children of Music Legends Whose Own Music Doesn't Suck
You may have heard this week that Paul McCartney's son, James, wants to get together with the children of John Lennon, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr and be a Beatles: Next Generation band. Truthfully, that might be one of the saddest and most desperate concepts for a musical project we've ever he ... More >>
Blogs
March 7, 2012
The Melvins' Old Van Is for Sale, But Here Are Five Tour Vehicles We'd Much Prefer
Remember when you were 12 years old and you'd draw the logos of your favorite bands all over your school books? Well, one time, Kurt Cobain did that to The Melvins' van, leaving behind a little portrait of Kiss (plus logo) which remains to this day on the side of that piece-of-shit '72 Dodge Spor ... More >>
Blogs
February 23, 2012
Live Review, 2/22/12: Cursive Is Flawless But Not Thrilling at Great American Music Hall
CursiveUmeWednesday, Feb. 22, 2012Great American Music HallBetter than: Staying in with a record player and a glass of wine (but only just). Going to see Cursive at the Great American Music Hall tonight is a little bit like going to an amusement park and finding that only one rollercoaster is open. ... More >>
Blogs
February 15, 2012
Rocco Katastrophe on Working with Margaret Cho, Emotional Eating, and His Magazine, Original Plumbing
Katastrophe Ask Rocco Kayiatos, a.k.a. Katastrophe, a.k.a. Rocco Katastophe, what he does for a living and he'll tell you he's a rapper/producer/publisher/entertainer -- all of which is true. Since the 2004 album Let's Fuck, Then Talk About My Problems, Rocco has been beloved across the count ... More >>
Blogs
January 20, 2012
President Barack Obama Likes Arcade Fire and the Black Eyed Peas. Yes, Really.
Yesterday, we found out from a British music news website that, like Santa Claus, Barack Obama keeps a "Nice" list -- or rather a list of people he wants to have supporting him in his re-election campaign. We've seen the list, and alongside all of the alphabetized politicians, business and sports ... More >>
Blogs
January 13, 2012
5 Reasons We're Thrilled About At The Drive-In's Reunion
Earlier this week, At The Drive-In posted a not-so cryptic message on its not-very-old Twitter page, announcing: "¡ATTENTION! To whom it may concern: AT THE DRIVE-IN will be breaking their 11 year silence THIS STATION IS ...NOW...OPERATIONAL." To say we leaped out of our chairs, did a happy dance, ... More >>
Blogs
December 29, 2011
The Top Five Most Heinous Pop Songs of 2011
Yesterday, we gave you our votes for the top five pop songs of 2011. But to be perfectly honest, in our look back over the last 12 months, we found far more pop moments that made us want to rip our own ears off than ones that made us want to dance like small children. Here are the worst abominations ... More >>
Blogs
November 9, 2011
The Six Greatest Britpop Songs You Don't Remember
Damon Albarn this week told Britain's NME that Blur has been practicing and recording together again. The band's guitarist, Graham Coxon, told the magazine the same thing back in February. C'mon fellas! You've gotta have something for us by now! That's almost a whole year of pointless pottering abou ... More >>
Blogs
October 19, 2011
How To Be in Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend's Music Video (Without Looking Like an Idiot)
JiveBritney Spears and boyfriend Jason Trawick in the new "Criminal" videoWe've all been there. You're at home, doing the dishes or washing the dog, and in swans your famous partner and demands that you be in their latest music video. Nightmare, eh? We understand that this is a really common prob ... More >>
Blogs
October 14, 2011
Why Musicians Matter to the Occupy Movement
It's been over two weeks since the protest in SF's financial district commenced -- prompted by the occupation of Wall Street that started almost a month ago -- and four days since Oakland joined this now apparently worldwide movement. As we all know, Occupy Wall Street was outright ignored by mai ... More >>
Blogs
September 30, 2011
Why Punk Rockers Make Great Parents
This fall, an exciting documentary is hitting movie theaters. It's called The Other F Word, and it's about punk rock; it's about family; and it's about a plethora of life's awkward questions including: "Should I have tattooed my forehead?" and "Daddy, what's a dominatrix?" It features NOFX's Fat ... More >>
Blogs
September 28, 2011
Nicki Minaj's Chicken Wing Necklace, and 10 Other Crazy Musical Accessories
Oh, look at that. Nicki Minaj just emerged with a chicken wing around her neck that had been painted hot pink and dressed up like a necklace, and called it fashion. Hot! ... Or not, depending on your perspective. Regardless, in Minaj's avian-slaughtering honour, we'd like to take a look back at 10 o ... More >>
Blogs
August 16, 2011
R.I.P. Warrant's Jani Lane: Top Five Sexist Rock Videos He'd Have Enjoyed
R.I.P. Jani LaneLike us, you are probably still reeling from the news that Warrant frontman Jani Lane, died last week. Okay, so maybe it's not a "probably" situation -- maybe it's more of a "maybe" kind of thing. Come to think of it, maybe, if you were born after 1990, you've never even heard of ... More >>
Blogs
August 12, 2011
How To Be a Loudmouth Rapper and Get Away with it, Featuring TOPR
In case you haven't heard, TOPR is an S.F. underground rapper with a rage problem, beloved by hip-hoppers and punks the nation over. In the midst of working on his seventh full-length, Afterlife Of The Party, as well as fronting a thrash-punk band on the side, he's here to share with us the ... More >>
Blogs
August 4, 2011
How To Beat Boredom While Waiting in Line for a Show
The dreaded show line: Sometimes it's just an unavoidable and inevitable part of concert-going. Even for those of us who usually simply walk away from bars and clubs that have lines in favor of places that don't involve standing outside feeling stupid, gigs have a tendency to force us all into organ ... More >>
Blogs
July 20, 2011
How To Be a Sound Guy (Without Electrocuting Anyone)
So you wanna be a sound guy? Get paid to go to all those shows? Control how everyone in the room hears the band? Sounds pretty sweet, huh? Bay Area native Nick Malgieri has been doing sound since he was 15 years old -- for clubs, festivals, conferences and, oh, yes, churches. He currently works as a ... More >>
Blogs
July 13, 2011
How to Go to a Show and Not Be a Douche to the Bartender
Getting a drink at gigs can be a nightmare -- especially if the show is sold out. You're hot, you're sweaty, you're claustrophobic and, heck, you're really thirsty. But no matter how uncomfortable you might be, try and give a thought to the bartenders and cocktail waitresses who are trying to serve ... More >>
Blogs
June 24, 2011
Train Releases a Signature Wine, Becomes Instantly More Irritating
Prepare to be hit by a tsunami of nausea as we inform you that Train -- probably the most insipid band from the Bay Area -- is bringing out a wine (called "Drops Of Jupiter" -- after one of its biggest songs -- just to annoy us that little bit more), apparently aided by San Francisco Wine Co. Th ... More >>
Blogs
June 22, 2011
How to Navigate S.F.'s Record Stores (Without Crying)
You're new to San Francisco. Or maybe you're not. Either way, we have a ton of awesome record stores that are quintessentially San Franciscan (read: weird) and navigating them isn't always the easiest thing in the world. You're just buying music, right? Wrong! Here's a guide to the finest purveyors ... More >>
Blogs
June 15, 2011
How To Be a Band's Tour Manager (Without Murdering Anyone)
Casey Schafer is an ex-tour manager with more than a decade of on-the-road experience, working with a variety of artists, including pop-punk bands (MxPx) and rap superstars (Lil Wayne). He now owns and operates the North Beach-based record label Burning House, and manages artists with whom he n ... More >>
News
June 8, 2011
SF Weekly Letters
Casey Schafer is an ex-tour manager with more than a decade of on-the-road experience, working with a variety of artists, including pop-punk bands (MxPx) and rap superstars (Lil Wayne). He now owns and operates the North Beach-based record label Burning House, and manages artists with whom he n ... More >>
Blogs
June 8, 2011
How To Buy a T-Shirt Without Angering the Merch Guy
Buying band merchandise is not a complicated matter. Neither is there any need for it to be a slow endeavor. But talk to merch people the world over and you'll hear the same thing repeatedly: Merch is a really nice job -- except for all the stupid idiots you have to deal with. Here's how to avoid be ... More >>
Blogs
June 1, 2011
How to Be the Most Annoying Person at a Show
We know this is an odd thing to assist you with, but we're increasingly convinced that a certain section of the showgoing public is seriously trying to achieve this most shameful of goals. Why are we trying to help them? Well, we figure if these jackasses really knuckle down and go for it, the chanc ... More >>
Blogs
May 25, 2011
How To Get The Band To Play What You Want
We've all been there. You hand over good money to go see a band you love, spend weeks salivating in anticipation and then, when the big night finally comes, they do nothing but play tracks from their new album. The bad one. That nobody likes. (We're looking at you, Sonic Youth...) Some artists, even ... More >>
Blogs
May 20, 2011
Glee to Get Its Own Music Awards Show; Suicide Rate Likely to Increase
Yesterday, Perez Hilton announced (in his usual fawning, sycophantic way) that this year -- on May 31, to be precise -- there will be a Glee music awards show. We now officially feel like the cast of that show is so damn ubiquitous, its members might as well be breaking into our homes at night and ... More >>
Blogs
May 11, 2011
How to Get Backstage After the Show
These days, being backstage at a show usually involves little more than watching a pile of people obsess about food, try to locate the nearest shower, and -- most importantly -- get venue Wi-Fi to work. Behind The Music-style rock 'n' roll hedonism is a rarity these days, but if you're still o ... More >>
Blogs
May 3, 2011
Lose the Groupies: Glitter Wizard Explains How to Be a Rock God on a Budget
As we all know, rock gods are a vital piece of the world's cultural fabric. Think of how much duller Earth would be if Iggy Pop hadn't developed a lust for life, David Lee Roth had never jumped, and Def Leppard had never prompted hysteria. The world needs more rock gods. But how do you become one ... More >>
Blogs
May 2, 2011
Six Musicians Who'd Make a Better President Than Donald Trump
So, it turns out that angling to be a presidential nominee turns you into a massive racist. At least, that's all we've been able to glean so far from Donald Trump's ill-informed and bafflingly ignorant behavior over the last few weeks. "I wanna see Obama's birth certificate! I wanna see Obama's ... More >>
Blogs
April 25, 2011
Groupies, Piss, and Penises: Five Shocking Music Memoirs
Those of you who enjoy a feel-good read and a hearty chuckle will be pleased to hear that Steven "Barrel Of Laughs" Morrissey is in the process of finishing up his memoir. So, while we sit and genuinely hope for a chapter about the punctured bicycle on a hillside, desolate, that inspired "This Cha ... More >>
Blogs
April 18, 2011
Top Five Musicians We Didn't Need to See Naked (Slightly NSFW)
When Demi Moore took her kit off for the cover of Vanity Fair in 1991, it caused a storm of controversy. A -- gasp! -- naked, pregnant woman, looking -- double gasp! -- sexy! People freaked out. It was kind of cool, but the problem was that it opened the floodgates. And now, more than a decade ... More >>
Blogs
April 13, 2011
Helpful Advice: How to Survive NOT Going to Coachella
The time is almost upon us. This week, tens of thousands of beautiful indie kids will descend on a patch of desert in Indio, Calif., and bear witness to some of the finest music the modern world has to offer at the 13th annual Coachella Festival.For those of you who didn't manage to get a ti ... More >>
Blogs
April 7, 2011
The Grammys Remove 31 Award Categories, Remain Utterly Irrational
A totem of absurdityYou might think it irrational, pointless, and shallow to waste one's energy getting upset about music awards shows, but last February's Grammy Awards filled us with such bubbling rage, we almost threw the cat at the TV. It wasn't Cee-Lo's chicken outfit that did it. It was ... More >>
Blogs
March 18, 2011
Helpful Advice: How To Survive NOT Going To SXSW
This week, thousands of music lovers, wayward drunks, and music industry folk have descended upon Austin, Texas, for the 2011 South By Southwest music "conference" (yeah, right). If you're still here at home in the Bay Area, the reality that you're missing five days of non-stop free music/beer/b ... More >>
Blogs
March 4, 2011
Top 5 Songs Charlie Sheen Is Probably Listening To Right Now
So this was the week that Charlie Sheen went on an extensive media tour to prove to the world that he was a "Vatican Assassin Warlock" -- which, according to our dictionary, means "gigantic mentalist." He has also announced to the world that he's "tired of pretending like [he's] not special." Well, ... More >>
Blogs
February 21, 2011
Top Six Celebrities Who Should Never Sing Again
Brace yourself, everybody. Not content with torturing us back in 2006 with her debut album, Paris Hilton is apparently preparing to unleash a second one. So, in her honor and as a means to prepare ourselves, here's our list of the top six celebrities who should never make music ever again. Oh, and f ... More >>
Blogs
February 14, 2011
Top 6 Songs About Sex That'll Make You Celibate: Happy Valentine's Day
In case you forgot, it's Valentine's Day -- the one day of the year where everyone is contractually obliged to go out and get laid or fear feeling bad about themselves until Feb. 15 rolls around. Well, in the interest of restoring balance to the world, we wanted to offer some reminders that sometime ... More >>
Blogs
February 7, 2011
The Top 5 Most Politically Incorrect Music Videos
Since yesterday's Super Bowl Half Time Show was so sorely lacking in wardrobe malfunctions -- frankly, we found the Black Eyed Peas' outfits a billion times more offensive than Janet Jackson's silver-plated nipple, but whatever -- we decided to provide a bit of dirt today, so you can all get over th ... More >>
Blogs
January 31, 2011
Top 10 Awful Songs That Are Awesome for Karaoke
Not sure if you've noticed yet, but this fair city of ours is awash with karaoke. All the way from the traditional joints in Japantown to the dive bars of the Mission (Sunday afternoons in The 500 Club are particularly noteworthy), people are volunteering to sing for their fellow patrons like nothi ... More >>
Blogs
January 24, 2011
The Top 6 Most Annoying Teen Pop Stars -- Other Than Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber: Is there anything more annoying than his stupid helmet hair, saccharine songs, creepy affinity for hitting on older women and tiny, little, smooth, smug face? Not yet, no. But if Ashton Kutcher gets his way, there may well be. For PerezHilton.com has just reported that not only would ... More >>
Blogs
January 10, 2011
'Why Are You Doing This?': A Timeline from Sunday's No Pants Bart Ride
Yesterday was the No Pants Bart Ride (click for more photos), for which willing participants were told to board trains, take off their pants/skirts/whatever was on their lower halves, and ride the train in their undies, completely straight-faced, to meet en masse at Powell St station at 2:10 p. ... More >>
Blogs
January 3, 2011
Top 6 Songs To Avoid If You Want To Keep Your New Year's Resolutions
Are you one of those hopelessly optimistic people who decides to transform yourself into a better human every time a New Year rolls around? You may have been brimming with enthusiasm for your resolution as the clock hit midnight last Friday, but we're guessing that, by now, the cracks are probably s ... More >>
Blogs
September 22, 2010
In Print: The xx on a Victory Lap, Behind the Bruise Cruise, and a Not-So-Fragile Perfume Genius
The xxThe xx: ""Standing on that stage was incredibly surreal," The xx's Jamie Smith tells SF Weekly's Rae Alexandra in our print edition this week about winning the prestigious Mercury Prize two weeks ago. Now the xx is on its last U.S. tour for a while -- what Smith calls "a proper party," ... More >>
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