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Blogs
June 2, 2009
Newsom's Cajoling on South Bay's 49ers Stadium Plan Comes Off As Desperate Hail Mary
Hut, hut, hikeThese days are just packed for Mayor Gavin Newsom. He just introduced a city financial plan that's a dead cert to induce enough fevered statements about "balancing the budget on the backs of the poor" to make outsiders think the city's indigent population is working on a circus novelty ... More >>
Blogs
June 3, 2009
Help Save San Francisco Parks By Walking Your Ass Off
A. MaleyNothin' beats a walk in the park...Yesterday we wrote about how advocates warn that the state's plan to shut the vast majority of the state's parks could lead to massive encampments, partying, vagrancy, arson, and, perhaps, the world's largest collection of empty beer cans in California's on ... More >>
Blogs
August 11, 2009
Are You Ready For Some Football? The Team Is Named 'The California Redwoods.' Still Ready?
Joe EskenaziUFL Commissioner Michael Huyghue smiles while California Redwoods owner Paul Pelosi shows off what is either a large Jolly Rancher candy or his team's road uniformA superstitious person would have picked up bad, teal and lime green vibes at the just-concluded AT&T Park press confe ... More >>
Blogs
August 28, 2009
It's Your Friday Morning News Quiz!
¿Dónde está el jefe? Normally, a story about Gavin Newsom going to Mexico and "leaking" would be pretty vile. And, depending on your feelings about the mayor, both of these developments could be interpreted as very problematic ... but not in that way.In any event, it's Friday -- you made it. B ... More >>
Blogs
September 2, 2009
Nate Davis Gets Nod as 49ers' No. 3 Quarterback. But, Once Again, Who Is Nate Davis?
As we noted a little while ago, if San Francisco 49ers coach Mike Singletary was being literal-minded when he famously bellowed "I want winners!" then he's likely to be disappointed. A gambling Web site recently pegged the Niners' odds of winning the Super Bowl at 55-to-1; this means that Sigleta ... More >>
Blogs
September 11, 2009
It's Your 49ers Season Opener Drinking Game!
Wallowing in nostalgia -- the habit of 49ers fans everywhere...The San Francisco 49ers' quest to stumble upwards toward mediocrity, reassert their once-proud tradition, and become something more than a gaggle of oversize, sweaty men wearing tight gold pants commences this weekend. Since beer goes ... More >>
Blogs
September 16, 2009
49ers 'Harleyman' To Lead Convoy To Team's Home Opener
Tom TracyHave a cup of joe with 49ers 'Harleyman' Steve Mahoney before the game this SundayBarring a miracle, you will not get the chance to play on the field with the San Francisco 49ers. But if you wish to ride the roads with the team's Harley-mounted figurehead -- well, that could happen. Stev ... More >>
Blogs
October 2, 2009
It's Your Friday Morning News Quiz!
Life, death, sports, and Froot Loops. That's what kind of a week it was in San Francisco. You know, if you have half as much fun taking this quiz as we had writing it -- then we had twice as much fun as you. On to the quiz: 1. Which of the following statements wasn't uttered by Officer Noel Schwa ... More >>
Blogs
October 6, 2009
Candlestick Park Trample Victim Lawsuit Isn't First Involving S.F. Police Horse -- But It's the First In a Long Time
We've written a little bit about Eugene Caldwell, the 78-year-old 49ers fan killed by a runaway police horse last year at Candlestick Park. According to court records, Caldwell's widow and grown children filed suit against a bevy of defendants on April 17; yesterday the Examiner ran a story in wh ... More >>
Blogs
October 9, 2009
It's Your Friday Morning News Quiz!
Justin PageStay classy, San FranciscoWitness intimidation! Religious and sexual harassment! Bacteria-infested sandwiches! If that's the week it was, we're extra glad it's Friday. Also, time for a quiz: 1. Which of the following epithets did Assemblyman Tom Ammiano shout when Gov. Arnold Schwarzen ... More >>
Blogs
October 28, 2009
Has Any QB Who Stunk As Bad As Alex Smith Gone On To Success With Same Team?
When the 49ers drafted Alex Smith with the No. 1 overall pick in 2005, I made a bet with anyone who would take my money: Aaron Rodgers would go on to have a better pro career than either Smith or Matt Leinart. Ostensibly the jury is still out -- but I'd say it's a pretty safe bet that at least a ... More >>
Blogs
October 30, 2009
It's Your Friday Morning News Quiz!
Happier times. Faster, too. Bridge! Bridge! More Bridge! Troubled bridge over water! Didja hear about the bridge? Sigh. Take a news quiz. 1. The city of San Francisco agreed to cough up $250,000 regarding a lawsuit stemming from a 2005 spill in which perhaps 54,000 gallons of what was leaked into ... More >>
Blogs
November 25, 2009
Assessing Our Leaders' Turkey-Serving Skills
This turkey was brought to you by...These days, if you're a San Francisco politician, mover-and-shaker, or athlete, grayish-brown is the suit color of choice. That way you can match your apparel to the inevitable gravy stains incurred in the season's cavalcade of powerful-serving-the-destitute tu ... More >>
News
December 16, 2009
The Worst-Run Big City in the U.S.
Spend more. Get less. We’re the city that knows how.
News
December 30, 2009
SFuture Shock: Bold predictions for the coming year
Spend more. Get less. We’re the city that knows how.
Blogs
May 5, 2010
'Rally' Today -- in Bar -- To Keep 49ers in S.F.
How much would it be worth to San Francisco to keep plays like this within city limits? If ever there's a man to liken shepherding a development to completion in San Francisco to pulling teeth, Mike Antonini is him. He's been a planning commissioner for eight years -- and he's a dentist. So Anton ... More >>
Blogs
May 7, 2010
Your Dream of Being Injured Playing Pro Football May Not Be Dead
Jim HerdCould this be you? San Francisco's participation in the fledgling United Football League was brief -- three home games and some surreal memories of a 90-percent empty AT&T Park populated by fans wearing highlighter-green uniforms. But that's no reason that San Francisco-area old farts ... More >>
Blogs
May 11, 2010
'Melrose Place' Actress, 49ers Linebacker Among Gavin Newsom's Top Donors
Actress Daphne Zuniga, seen here as 'Princess Vespa,' thinks Gavin Newsom is the best lieutenat governor candidate in the galaxyAs goes Daphne Zuniga goes the lieutenant governor's race -- or so Gavin Newsom would hope. We reported earlier today that San Francisco's mayor has both the internal po ... More >>
Blogs
May 12, 2010
Former 49er Roger Craig Has a Fishing Show?
Roger Craig has gone from beating The Fish in Super Bowl XIX to catching them on TVIf you had asked us which member of the San Francisco 49ers glory teams would have his own fishing show, Roger Craig would not have been our first guess, or even our 33rd guess. But, alas, the high-kneed, saucer-ey ... More >>
Blogs
June 9, 2010
There Was an Election Last Night. As if You Gave a ****
At least Coakley's people hit the streets. And that dude San Francisco, there was an election last night. And you went to the polls. Or at least some of you did. You also went to happy hour, the laundromat, or maybe the refrigerator. Wherever you went, whatever you did, three out of four of you f ... More >>
Blogs
June 9, 2010
City's Plan to Keep 49ers: Wait and Hope Team, Santa Clara Are Broke
We'll spare you the football jargon, but suffice to say the San Francisco 49ers took a huge step towards saying goodbye to Candlestick Park on Tuesday night. Voters in Santa Clara approved at the ballot a land lease deal for a proposed $937 million stadium by a nearly 2-to-1 margin. Of that $937 mil ... More >>
Blogs
June 15, 2010
49ers' Exit Would Save SF Money
Chris Roberts/SF Appeal.comWhateverAdded to the burgeoning pile of "pros" in a San-Francisco-49ers-departing-San-Francisco pro-con list is this snippet, courtesy of The Examiner: should the football team play its home games in Santa Clara (the city in which the team already spends 340 days a year ... More >>
News
June 16, 2010
List: The best democracy money can buy
Chris Roberts/SF Appeal.comWhateverAdded to the burgeoning pile of "pros" in a San-Francisco-49ers-departing-San-Francisco pro-con list is this snippet, courtesy of The Examiner: should the football team play its home games in Santa Clara (the city in which the team already spends 340 days a year ... More >>
Blogs
July 6, 2010
Joe Montana Just Another Wealthy Empty-Nester Moving to San Francisco
The atypical Joe Montana...In almost every respect, Joe Montana is not typical. Typical men aren't deified in their own lifetimes. Typical men don't have four Super Bowl rings. Typical men don't talk about going upstairs to masturbate in a pantheon-level Saturday Night Live-sketch. But, in ... More >>
News
July 21, 2010
List: S.F. bans water, pets, and ... LOLcats?
The atypical Joe Montana...In almost every respect, Joe Montana is not typical. Typical men aren't deified in their own lifetimes. Typical men don't have four Super Bowl rings. Typical men don't talk about going upstairs to masturbate in a pantheon-level Saturday Night Live-sketch. But, in ... More >>
News
August 25, 2010
Her House Divided
The most powerful female politician in the country now teeters between long-term victory and instant defeat.
Blogs
September 14, 2010
Mayoral Candidate Harold Miller Wants to Teach Asians to 'Look Blacks in the Eye'
An unknown number of San Franciscans received an introduction to one Harold Miller yesterday, when the little-known mayoral candidate sent out an e-mail illuminating the masses on just how he'd clean up this town. When Miller rails against the "crazy laws the Board of Supervisors put on the books ... More >>
News
September 22, 2010
Mayoral candidate Harold Miller's eye-catching advice on race relations
An unknown number of San Franciscans received an introduction to one Harold Miller yesterday, when the little-known mayoral candidate sent out an e-mail illuminating the masses on just how he'd clean up this town. When Miller rails against the "crazy laws the Board of Supervisors put on the books ... More >>
Blogs
September 27, 2010
Adios, Jimmy Raye. Hello to More 49ers Failure.
Jimmy Raye, told to turn in his playbookNot long after the San Francisco 49ers' latest debacle, embattled offensive coordinator Jimmy Raye was fired. Fans are left to ponder if his final exit from 49er headquarters was a predicable run up the middle, easily sniffed out by the defense. Sadly, Raye ... More >>
News
October 20, 2010
Let It Bleed
The city is awash in red ink, thanks to billion-dollar benefit giveaways and our politicians' lack of will.
Blogs
October 28, 2010
49ers-Broncos Game in London Shaping Up to Be Epic Stinkbomb
No matter what, a Smith will be the 49ers' QBThe announcement that Troy Smith will be under center for the 49ers in their forthcoming "home" contest vs. the Denver Broncos in London seals the deal: This may be the worst thing we've ever done to the British since convincing them to join us on our ... More >>
Blogs
October 29, 2010
Only In S.F.: Gay, Rabbinical School Dropout Deemed Too Conservative
In recent weeks, we've pointed out that people are largely free to fornicate on the streets of San Francisco -- but dogs cannot. Prosecutors struggle to convict vandals -- as juries state that graffiti is not vandalism, but "art." So, along those lines, only in San Francisco could a gay, rabbinic ... More >>
Blogs
November 15, 2010
49ers Never Had 'Rivalry' With Rams
The Rams were good ... but the 49ers were the bestHeading into Sunday's nifty 49ers win over the St. Louis Rams, local TV stations showed plenty of nostalgia-inducing clips of Roger Craig high-stepping, Joe Montana hurling slant after slant to Jerry Rice, and Carlton Williamson or Ronnie Lott rac ... More >>
Blogs
December 22, 2010
Christmas Sale: Save One Cent! (PIC)
Real savings! The 49ers have delivered fans a lump of coal this season. Believe us, we know. So, perhaps retailers need to give customers a bit of an extra incentive to buy Niners jerseys. And a downtown San Francisco store that shall remain nameless has done just that. Other establishments might ... More >>
Blogs
December 27, 2010
Who Is Jim Tomsula?
A long ascent to the top for the 49ers new coach...It would be something of a given to note that Jim Tomsula, the San Francisco 49ers interim head coach, is not exactly a household name. A number of articles have seen fit to mention that his name is pronounced with the accent on the second syllab ... More >>
Blogs
January 5, 2011
Trent Baalke Is 49ers' GM. Quelle Surprise!
Huh. Didn't see that coming. Yesterday, the San Francisco 49ers concluded their comprehensive search for a new general manager without leaving the training facility. In-house favorite Trent Baalke was hired to fill the vacant position -- a move only slightly less predictable than the plotline of ... More >>
Blogs
February 16, 2011
Jack Davis Birthday Bash: Sodomized With a Whiskey Bottle, Who Could Forget
When vodka doesn't do it for you... It's hard to believe that the Examiner today reports on the "repercussions" of the 1997 Jack Davis birthday bash without mentioning the most damning of all the party antics: A man being sodomized with a Jack Daniel's bottle.Or is it hard to believe? After all, ... More >>
Blogs
February 25, 2011
49ers President Jed York Likes Mayor Ed Lee, But Is It Enough to Keep The Team in S.F.?
Some love to hate himThe stylistic differences between former Mayor Gavin Newsom and the current Mayor Ed Lee are too many to list here. Yet the one distinct deviation certainly worth noting is their relationship with 49ers president Jed York.Lee reportedly met with the 49ers president yesterday ... More >>
News
March 16, 2011
U-Visa: Illegal Immigrants Become Legal Residents Via Crime Victimization
Some love to hate himThe stylistic differences between former Mayor Gavin Newsom and the current Mayor Ed Lee are too many to list here. Yet the one distinct deviation certainly worth noting is their relationship with 49ers president Jed York.Lee reportedly met with the 49ers president yesterday ... More >>
News
April 20, 2011
Candlestick Park Will Likely Sack the City for Millions
Some love to hate himThe stylistic differences between former Mayor Gavin Newsom and the current Mayor Ed Lee are too many to list here. Yet the one distinct deviation certainly worth noting is their relationship with 49ers president Jed York.Lee reportedly met with the 49ers president yesterday ... More >>
Blogs
July 27, 2011
Alex Smith: We've Still Got Him to Kick Around
Do the Vitamin Water people think this is going to help move the product? For San Francisco sports fans, the news that Carlos Beltran may soon be heading to town was tempered somewhat by the fact he could conceivably be rooming with Alex Smith. For parts of six maddening years, Smith has been the ... More >>
Blogs
October 4, 2011
Howard Eskin Lucks Out -- There Is a San Francisco Back East!
Howard Eskin won't have to wander far from his fan base after all...Yesterday we reported on one Howard Eskin, a Philadelphia "radio personality" who felt so strongly the Eagles would top the 49ers he swore to bike from Philly to San Francisco if the opposite came to pass. Naturally, it did; it's ... More >>
Calendar
October 19, 2011
Strong Female Characters
Howard Eskin won't have to wander far from his fan base after all...Yesterday we reported on one Howard Eskin, a Philadelphia "radio personality" who felt so strongly the Eagles would top the 49ers he swore to bike from Philly to San Francisco if the opposite came to pass. Naturally, it did; it's ... More >>
Blogs
December 20, 2011
49ers Blackout: Life Imitates Art
All things considered, a few more candlesticks would have helped out at CandlestickIf nothing else, yesterday's lights-out performance by the San Francisco 49ers' defense offered sportswriters the chance to make gratuitous puns. The hometown side folded, spindled, and mutilated the visiting Pitts ... More >>
Blogs
December 21, 2011
Ed Lee Calls Candlestick Blackout "National Embarrassment." Ain't That a Bit Harsh?
ESPN television broadcastIf John Madden were calling this clip, no doubt he'd say "Boom!" When Mayor Ed Lee told gathered throngs of media that the multiple power failures during Monday Night Football were a "national embarrassment," he used strong -- and curious -- language. San Francisco's infr ... More >>
Blogs
January 13, 2012
49ers Season Tickets Will Require $30K Fee
Back in those days, $30,000 could probably buy a ticket for you and about 10,000 friendsThe NFL is a hell of a business. Niners fans, paying an exorbitant amount for season tickets, will now be required to plink down tens of thousands of dollars in order to have the privilege of paying even more ... More >>
Blogs
January 20, 2012
49ers-Giants: The Biggest Games
It's hard to be nostalgic when you don't remember anything. It's also hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything. Vernon Davis, who made what is being dubbed "The Catch III," was several years shy of being born when Dwight Clark made "The Catch." But fans -- we remember. We remember every ... More >>
Blogs
January 23, 2012
49ers Pissed Away Super Bowl Berth. Accept This, and Move On.
This, too, shall pass (or run)It may stagger longtime 49ers fans to comprehend it, but children born the year the team last won a Super Bowl are now able to buy cigarettes, vote, and sleep with whomever they choose. And yet, it's a testament to the utter dominance of the Niners of yore that older ... More >>
Blogs
February 6, 2012
Adieu, 49ers: San Francisco, Team to File for Divorce
For those with Kezar Stadium memories, losing the 49ers hurts. So does knowing the city can no longer afford the team.Following that rarest of things -- a Super Bowl that came down to the final snap -- New England Patriots fans will be endlessly playing over the events in their minds. If only tha ... More >>
Blogs
February 14, 2012
49ers: Lucky or Good? Mathematician Weighs In.
In Dallas, they attribute this to luck. Still.San Francisco 49ers fans still in search or a silver lining, take heed: Rather than be blinded with science, embrace it! Matt Lane, a San Francisco native and alum of University High, is now a doctoral student in mathematics at UCLA. On his Math Goes ... More >>
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