Subject:

San Francisco 49ers

  • Blogs

    January 18, 2013

    49ers v. Falcons: Do It For Garrison Hearst

    Most of us remember the last time the 49ers played a playoff game in Atlanta. It was the game after "The Catch II," when Terrell Owens -- after dropping several passes all game -- held on to a Jeff Garcia laser that vaulted the Niners over the hated Green Bay Packers in January 1999. But that's n ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 16, 2013

    Top Ten 49ers-Related Rap Songs to Bump Before the Next Game

    The past two years have seen an influx of rap songs dedicated to the San Francisco 49ers, a phenomenon that seems to grow along with the city's team pride. The tracks consist of a combination of remixes of popular songs and entirely original compositions, with most pointing out player names and litt ... More >>

  • News

    December 12, 2012

    Kaepernick Fever: The 49ers QB Had Vegas' Attention

    The past two years have seen an influx of rap songs dedicated to the San Francisco 49ers, a phenomenon that seems to grow along with the city's team pride. The tracks consist of a combination of remixes of popular songs and entirely original compositions, with most pointing out player names and litt ... More >>

  • Calendar

    November 14, 2012

    Treesons Greetings

    The past two years have seen an influx of rap songs dedicated to the San Francisco 49ers, a phenomenon that seems to grow along with the city's team pride. The tracks consist of a combination of remixes of popular songs and entirely original compositions, with most pointing out player names and litt ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 15, 2012

    Football Stabbing, Dramatic Shooting Kept Cops Busy Yesterday

    It was an active weekend for San Francisco for cops and criminals. Police made a few significant arrests, starting with a stabbing near Candlestick Park where the 49ers were playing the New York Giants on Sunday. According to police. the incident started at about 1:35 p.m. when two men approached a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 25, 2012

    Odd Internet Fact: Cowboys.com Is About Gay Men, Not the Dallas Football Team

    Type in 49ers.com into a URL browser, and the Internet takes you to the San Francisco 49ers' official website. Same story for raiders.com, as well as for many other teams, like the Bengals, Steelers, Seahawks, Patriots, Packers, Redskins, and more. But type in bears.com and the internet sends you t ... More >>

  • News

    September 19, 2012

    Fashion Police: 49ers Dress Candlestick's Undercover Cops

    Type in 49ers.com into a URL browser, and the Internet takes you to the San Francisco 49ers' official website. Same story for raiders.com, as well as for many other teams, like the Bengals, Steelers, Seahawks, Patriots, Packers, Redskins, and more. But type in bears.com and the internet sends you t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 17, 2012

    Who Was the Hooded Man Standing Behind Alex Smith During NBC's Post-Game Interview?

    It was one of the greatest videobombs in Internet history. There he stood, bundled under a grey hoodie, inches behind Alex Smith and Michael Crabtree, solemnly nodding in agreement as the quarterback explained to NBC's Michele Tafoya that the 49ers need to take the season one game at a time, a natio ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 14, 2012

    SF Cops to Don 49ers Garb Looking for Unruly Fans at Sunday's Game

    Here's a good reason football fans won't want to mess with San Francisco come Sunday: Undercover cops are planning to attend the 49ers game on Sunday between the Detroit Lyons, but they won't be watching the game. Officers will be decked out in either Niners red-and-gold attire or Lyons team colors, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 4, 2012

    49ers Fan Heckles Charger Fans Who Happen To Be Cops

    Updated 2:35 p.m. to show man's identity.Here's a cautionary tale for all prospective sporting agitators.One allegedly drunken San Francisco 49ers fan must have felt a surge of football-fueled hostility as he saw the group of San Diego Chargers fans stroll by in the Candlestick Park parking lot befo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 1, 2012

    See's Candies Breaks World Record With Freakish 7,000-Pound Lollipop

    Well, it's official. See's Candies broke the world record with its 7,003-pound chocolate-flavored lollipop it showcased a few weeks ago in San Francisco. You should know all the labor (and sugar) that went into this insane sucker. It took 14.5 hours to make. The process started at 4 a.m. and was com ... More >>

  • News

    May 16, 2012

    BOSF 2012: How to Smuggle Beer into a Stadium

    Well, it's official. See's Candies broke the world record with its 7,003-pound chocolate-flavored lollipop it showcased a few weeks ago in San Francisco. You should know all the labor (and sugar) that went into this insane sucker. It took 14.5 hours to make. The process started at 4 a.m. and was com ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 16, 2012

    49ers Not Bringing Gold Back to San Francisco

    The 49ers' pending move to Santa Clara feels a bit like losing one's spouse to a rich, superficial cad. But the analogy breaks down quickly. Ideally, loving and intimate relationships between two people do not require a cost-benefit analysis as the ultimate arbiter of feasibility. Relationships betw ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 21, 2012

    Tim Tebow: Jesus Smiles Upon San Francisco By Sending Him Elsewhere

    ​More than a few sportswriters couldn't resist marital analogies during the 49ers abortive recent pursuit of Peyton Manning. And, hey -- it works. The team's for-better-or-for-worse union with Alex Smith finally experiences some of the "for better," vows are renewed -- and cue an aging but hormona ... More >>

  • News

    March 14, 2012

    Outmigration: Only District 6 Retains Its Black Population

    ​More than a few sportswriters couldn't resist marital analogies during the 49ers abortive recent pursuit of Peyton Manning. And, hey -- it works. The team's for-better-or-for-worse union with Alex Smith finally experiences some of the "for better," vows are renewed -- and cue an aging but hormona ... More >>

  • News

    February 15, 2012

    Willie's World Redux: The Former Mayor Tells It Like It Is

    ​More than a few sportswriters couldn't resist marital analogies during the 49ers abortive recent pursuit of Peyton Manning. And, hey -- it works. The team's for-better-or-for-worse union with Alex Smith finally experiences some of the "for better," vows are renewed -- and cue an aging but hormona ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 14, 2012

    49ers: Lucky or Good? Mathematician Weighs In

    ​San Francisco 49ers fans still in search or a silver lining, take heed: Rather than be blinded with science, embrace it! Matt Lane, an S.F. native and alumnus of University High, is now a doctoral student in mathematics at UCLA. On his Math Goes Pop! blog, he recently pondered whether the 49 ... More >>

  • Calendar

    February 8, 2012

    Grass-Fed Sounds

    ​San Francisco 49ers fans still in search or a silver lining, take heed: Rather than be blinded with science, embrace it! Matt Lane, an S.F. native and alumnus of University High, is now a doctoral student in mathematics at UCLA. On his Math Goes Pop! blog, he recently pondered whether the 49 ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 6, 2012

    Adieu, 49ers: San Francisco, Team to File for Divorce

    For those with Kezar Stadium memories, losing the 49ers hurts. So does knowing the city can no longer afford the team.​Following that rarest of things -- a Super Bowl that came down to the final snap -- New England Patriots fans will be endlessly playing over the events in their minds. If only tha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 23, 2012

    49ers Pissed Away Super Bowl Berth. Accept This, and Move On.

    ​It may stagger longtime 49ers fans to comprehend it, but children born the season the team last won a Super Bowl are now able to buy cigarettes, vote, and sleep with whomever they choose. And yet, it's a testament to the utter dominance of the Niners of yore that older fans still feel entitled wh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 20, 2012

    49ers-Giants: The Biggest Games

    It's hard to be nostalgic when you don't remember anything. It's also hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything. Vernon Davis, who made what is being dubbed "The Catch III," was several years shy of being born when Dwight Clark made "The Catch." But fans -- we remember. We remember every ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 13, 2012

    49ers Season Tickets Will Require $30K Fee

    ​The NFL is a hell of a business. Niners fans, paying an exorbitant amount for season tickets, will now be required to plink down tens of thousands of dollars in order to have the privilege of paying even more for tickets in the 49ers yet-to-be-constructed stadium.Fans sitting in the "club level" ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 21, 2011

    Ed Lee Calls Candlestick Blackout "National Embarrassment." Ain't That a Bit Harsh?

    ESPN television broadcastIf John Madden were calling this clip, no doubt he'd say "Boom!" ​When Mayor Ed Lee told gathered throngs of media that the multiple power failures during Monday Night Football were a "national embarrassment," he used strong -- and curious -- language. San Francisco's infr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 20, 2011

    49ers Blackout: Life Imitates Art

    All things considered, a few more candlesticks would have helped out at Candlestick​If nothing else, yesterday's lights-out performance by the San Francisco 49ers' defense offered sportswriters the chance to make gratuitous puns. The hometown side folded, spindled, and mutilated the visiting Pitts ... More >>

  • Calendar

    October 19, 2011

    Strong Female Characters

    All things considered, a few more candlesticks would have helped out at Candlestick​If nothing else, yesterday's lights-out performance by the San Francisco 49ers' defense offered sportswriters the chance to make gratuitous puns. The hometown side folded, spindled, and mutilated the visiting Pitts ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 4, 2011

    Howard Eskin Lucks Out -- There Is a San Francisco Back East!

    Howard Eskin won't have to wander far from his fan base after all...​Yesterday we reported on one Howard Eskin, a Philadelphia "radio personality" who felt so strongly the Eagles would top the 49ers he swore to bike from Philly to San Francisco if the opposite came to pass. Naturally, it did; it's ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 3, 2011

    Howard Eskin, Cocky Sports Reporter, Pledges to Bike from Philly to San Francisco

    ​Howard Eskin, a Philly-based veteran Eagles reporter, used his token phrase "cold mortal lock" to describe the Eagles' prospects against the 49ers in Sunday's game.But his 60-year-old knees may be feeling their own "cold mortal lock" if he winds up following through with a promise he made on the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 27, 2011

    Alex Smith: We've Still Got Him to Kick Around

    Do the Vitamin Water people think this is going to help move the product? ​For San Francisco sports fans, the news that Carlos Beltran may soon be heading to town was tempered somewhat by the fact he could conceivably be rooming with Alex Smith. For parts of six maddening years, Smith has been the ... More >>

  • News

    April 20, 2011

    Candlestick Park Will Likely Sack the City for Millions

    Do the Vitamin Water people think this is going to help move the product? ​For San Francisco sports fans, the news that Carlos Beltran may soon be heading to town was tempered somewhat by the fact he could conceivably be rooming with Alex Smith. For parts of six maddening years, Smith has been the ... More >>

  • News

    March 16, 2011

    U-Visa: Illegal Immigrants Become Legal Residents Via Crime Victimization

    Do the Vitamin Water people think this is going to help move the product? ​For San Francisco sports fans, the news that Carlos Beltran may soon be heading to town was tempered somewhat by the fact he could conceivably be rooming with Alex Smith. For parts of six maddening years, Smith has been the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 25, 2011

    49ers President Jed York Likes Mayor Ed Lee, But Is It Enough to Keep The Team in S.F.?

    Some love to hate him​The stylistic differences between former Mayor Gavin Newsom and the current Mayor Ed Lee are too many to list here. Yet the one distinct deviation certainly worth noting is their relationship with 49ers president Jed York.Lee reportedly met with the 49ers president yesterday ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 16, 2011

    Jack Davis Birthday Bash: Sodomized With a Whiskey Bottle, Who Could Forget

    When vodka doesn't do it for you... ​It's hard to believe that the Examiner today reports on the "repercussions" of the 1997 Jack Davis birthday bash without mentioning the most damning of all the party antics: A man being sodomized with a Jack Daniel's bottle.Or is it hard to believe? After all, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 5, 2011

    Trent Baalke Is 49ers' GM. Quelle Surprise!

    Huh. Didn't see that coming. ​Yesterday, the San Francisco 49ers concluded their comprehensive search for a new general manager without leaving the training facility. In-house favorite Trent Baalke was hired to fill the vacant position -- a move only slightly less predictable than the plotline of ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 27, 2010

    Who Is Jim Tomsula?

    A long ascent to the top for the 49ers new coach...​It would be something of a given to note that Jim Tomsula, the San Francisco 49ers interim head coach, is not exactly a household name. A number of articles have seen fit to mention that his name is pronounced with the accent on the second syllab ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 22, 2010

    Christmas Sale: Save One Cent! (PIC)

    Real savings! ​The 49ers have delivered fans a lump of coal this season. Believe us, we know. So, perhaps retailers need to give customers a bit of an extra incentive to buy Niners jerseys. And a downtown San Francisco store that shall remain nameless has done just that. Other establishments might ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 15, 2010

    49ers Never Had 'Rivalry' With Rams

    The Rams were good ... but the 49ers were the best​Heading into Sunday's nifty 49ers win over the St. Louis Rams, local TV stations showed plenty of nostalgia-inducing clips of Roger Craig high-stepping, Joe Montana hurling slant after slant to Jerry Rice, and Carlton Williamson or Ronnie Lott rac ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 29, 2010

    Only In S.F.: Gay, Rabbinical School Dropout Deemed Too Conservative

    ​In recent weeks, we've pointed out that people are largely free to fornicate on the streets of San Francisco -- but dogs cannot. Prosecutors struggle to convict vandals -- as juries state that graffiti is not vandalism, but "art." So, along those lines, only in San Francisco could a gay, rabbinic ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 28, 2010

    49ers-Broncos Game in London Shaping Up to Be Epic Stinkbomb

    No matter what, a Smith will be the 49ers' QB​The announcement that Troy Smith will be under center for the 49ers in their forthcoming "home" contest vs. the Denver Broncos in London seals the deal: This may be the worst thing we've ever done to the British since convincing them to join us on our ... More >>

  • News

    October 20, 2010

    Let It Bleed

    The city is awash in red ink, thanks to billion-dollar benefit giveaways and our politicians' lack of will.

  • Blogs

    September 27, 2010

    Adios, Jimmy Raye. Hello to More 49ers Failure.

    Jimmy Raye, told to turn in his playbook​Not long after the San Francisco 49ers' latest debacle, embattled offensive coordinator Jimmy Raye was fired. Fans are left to ponder if his final exit from 49er headquarters was a predicable run up the middle, easily sniffed out by the defense. Sadly, Raye ... More >>

  • News

    September 22, 2010

    Mayoral candidate Harold Miller's eye-catching advice on race relations

    Jimmy Raye, told to turn in his playbook​Not long after the San Francisco 49ers' latest debacle, embattled offensive coordinator Jimmy Raye was fired. Fans are left to ponder if his final exit from 49er headquarters was a predicable run up the middle, easily sniffed out by the defense. Sadly, Raye ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 14, 2010

    Mayoral Candidate Harold Miller Wants to Teach Asians to 'Look Blacks in the Eye'

    ​An unknown number of San Franciscans received an introduction to one Harold Miller yesterday, when the little-known mayoral candidate sent out an e-mail illuminating the masses on just how he'd clean up this town. When Miller rails against the "crazy laws the Board of Supervisors put on the books ... More >>

  • News

    August 25, 2010

    Her House Divided

    The most powerful female politician in the country now teeters between long-term victory and instant defeat.

  • News

    July 21, 2010

    List: S.F. bans water, pets, and ... LOLcats?

    The most powerful female politician in the country now teeters between long-term victory and instant defeat.

  • Blogs

    July 6, 2010

    Joe Montana Just Another Wealthy Empty-Nester Moving to San Francisco

    The atypical Joe Montana...​In almost every respect, Joe Montana is not typical. Typical men aren't deified in their own lifetimes. Typical men don't have four Super Bowl rings. Typical men don't talk about going upstairs to masturbate in a pantheon-level Saturday Night Live-sketch.  But, in ... More >>

  • News

    June 16, 2010

    List: The best democracy money can buy

    The atypical Joe Montana...​In almost every respect, Joe Montana is not typical. Typical men aren't deified in their own lifetimes. Typical men don't have four Super Bowl rings. Typical men don't talk about going upstairs to masturbate in a pantheon-level Saturday Night Live-sketch.  But, in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 15, 2010

    49ers' Exit Would Save SF Money

    Chris Roberts/SF Appeal.comWhatever​Added to the burgeoning pile of "pros" in a San-Francisco-49ers-departing-San-Francisco pro-con list is this snippet, courtesy of The Examiner: should the football team play its home games in Santa Clara (the city in which the team already spends 340 days a year ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 9, 2010

    There Was an Election Last Night. As if You Gave a ****

    At least Coakley's people hit the streets. And that dude​ San Francisco, there was an election last night. And you went to the polls. Or at least some of you did. You also went to happy hour, the laundromat, or maybe the refrigerator. Wherever you went, whatever you did, three out of four of you f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 9, 2010

    City's Plan to Keep 49ers: Wait and Hope Team, Santa Clara Are Broke

    We'll spare you the football jargon, but suffice to say the San Francisco 49ers took a huge step towards saying goodbye to Candlestick Park on Tuesday night. Voters in Santa Clara approved at the ballot a land lease deal for a proposed $937 million stadium by a nearly 2-to-1 margin. Of that $937 mil ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 12, 2010

    Former 49er Roger Craig Has a Fishing Show?

    Roger Craig has gone from beating The Fish in Super Bowl XIX to catching them on TV​If you had asked us which member of the San Francisco 49ers glory teams would have his own fishing show, Roger Craig would not have been our first guess, or even our 33rd guess. But, alas, the high-kneed, saucer-ey ... More >>

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