Subject:

Super Bowl

  • Blogs

    March 16, 2012

    Peyton Manning: A Move With No Middle Ground

    ​The intriguing news that San Francisco may indeed be Peyton's Place is that rarest of things -- a true all-or-nothing gamble. There is no in-between when it comes to signing -- or perhaps even chasing -- Peyton Manning. Either the 49ers will contend for a title or the aging, brittle Manning ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 6, 2012

    Adieu, 49ers: San Francisco, Team to File for Divorce

    For those with Kezar Stadium memories, losing the 49ers hurts. So does knowing the city can no longer afford the team.​Following that rarest of things -- a Super Bowl that came down to the final snap -- New England Patriots fans will be endlessly playing over the events in their minds. If only tha ... More >>

  • News

    February 1, 2012

    The Super Bowl Prostitution Hoax

    Indianapolis mobilizes for an epic battle with an urban legend.

  • Blogs

    January 23, 2012

    49ers Pissed Away Super Bowl Berth. Accept This, and Move On.

    ​It may stagger longtime 49ers fans to comprehend it, but children born the season the team last won a Super Bowl are now able to buy cigarettes, vote, and sleep with whomever they choose. And yet, it's a testament to the utter dominance of the Niners of yore that older fans still feel entitled wh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 22, 2012

    49ers Faithfuls, It's Armageddon Sunday at Candlestick Park

    ​Take it from a Bears fan, there ain't no better rivalry in football, maybe in all of professional sports, than the San Francisco 49ers and the New York Giants. No two teams have had so many epic battles, so many knock-down, drag-out fights, as the 49ers and Giants. Both teams have to be among t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 20, 2012

    49ers-Giants: The Biggest Games

    It's hard to be nostalgic when you don't remember anything. It's also hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything. Vernon Davis, who made what is being dubbed "The Catch III," was several years shy of being born when Dwight Clark made "The Catch." But fans -- we remember. We remember every ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 15, 2011

    Donald Rumsfeld Calls Oakland Raiders 'Evil'

    Is this the face of evil?​In a recent interview that just so happened to take place on Super Bowl Sunday, Donald Rumsfeld -- who was notoriously regarded as callous during his term as Defense Secretary during George W. Bush's Iraq War -- dropped another "evildoer" reference. But this time he was t ... More >>

  • Calendar

    January 26, 2011

    Are You Prepared for Some Football?

    Is this the face of evil?​In a recent interview that just so happened to take place on Super Bowl Sunday, Donald Rumsfeld -- who was notoriously regarded as callous during his term as Defense Secretary during George W. Bush's Iraq War -- dropped another "evildoer" reference. But this time he was t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 16, 2010

    49ers Beat Colts -- Preseason Bettors Rejoice!

    A great tackle by ... that guy! ​Not long before the San Francisco 49ers took the field in Indianapolis to rout the Colts, your humble narrator received a curious communique in his inbox. It was an a preview of the contest written exclusively for people who had decided to wage their hard-earned mo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 6, 2010

    Jerry Rice -- My Favorite Memory

    Gracias, Jerry​With Jerry Rice, San Francisco 49ers fans had it all. The best player with the best work ethic playing for the best team. It was, well, the best. Rice will be inducted into the pro football Hall of Fame tomorrow. But for your humble narrator, utter the words "Jerry Rice" and a very ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 6, 2010

    Joe Montana Just Another Wealthy Empty-Nester Moving to San Francisco

    The atypical Joe Montana...​In almost every respect, Joe Montana is not typical. Typical men aren't deified in their own lifetimes. Typical men don't have four Super Bowl rings. Typical men don't talk about going upstairs to masturbate in a pantheon-level Saturday Night Live-sketch.  But, in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 17, 2010

    Last Night: The Dirty Dozen Brass Band at the Independent

    Joseph Schell​The Dirty Dozen Brass BandTuesday, Feb. 16, 2010The IndependentBetter Than: being anywhere else on Fat Tuesday after The Saints won the Superbowl.Anything goes on Fat Tuesday: whether it's decking yourself in feather boas, sequin masks, the shiniest/cheapest bead-ware, or leopard pri ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 3, 2010

    Super Bowl Sunday at Bloodhound: Eat Spit-Roasted Hog

    Jared Z./Yelp​Somewhere along the streets of Pigtown, perhaps at the slovenly post office or the scraps-stocked general store, there is a wanted poster bearing Ryan Farr's face. The guy behind 4505 Meats has made his bones whittling whatever he can off those of pigs, typically plump, happy, he ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 14, 2009

    It's Your Raiders Season Opener Drinking Game -- And You Might Need It

    Nostalgia alert!​Tonight at 7:15, an Oakland Raiders team that has found ways to embarrass its home city in ways violent crime rates and a reputation for danger and lawlessness could not, host the San Diego Chargers in a Monday Night Football opener. The Chargers are a stacked team that some consi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 2, 2009

    Nate Davis Gets Nod as 49ers' No. 3 Quarterback. But, Once Again, Who Is Nate Davis?

    ​As we noted a little while ago, if San Francisco 49ers coach Mike Singletary was being literal-minded when he famously bellowed "I want winners!" then he's likely to be disappointed. A gambling Web site recently pegged the Niners' odds of winning the Super Bowl at 55-to-1; this means that Sigleta ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 11, 2009

    Does 'CHP' Stand for 'Can't Help Punning'?

    Y'know Ponch, if Marshall McLuhan is right and 'The medium is the message' -- then any advice we give to high school kids probably won't be received warmlyPoor California Highway Patrol -- they just want us to drive safely, be considerate, and, would it kill us to occasionally compliment them on the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 5, 2009

    So, God Told Kurt Warner to Spurn the 49ers. What Else Did The Almighty Say?

    Janine KahnArizona Cardinals quarterback and devout Christian Kurt Warner briefly considered joining the San Francisco 49ers this week, but while he was visiting the Bay Area God apparently told Warner to forget it. "I told my wife probably 45 minutes into it that I just felt God say 'You're suppose ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 30, 2009

    News You Can Use: No, Virginia, There Is No Increase in Domestic Violence on Super Bowl Sunday

    Put on a shirt and keep your hands to yourself!Every year around this time, you hear two sickening things about the Super Bowl: A nationwide halftime stampede to the toilet overwhelms local sewage plants;A nationwide orgy of beer-drinking and high-stakes football induces a cavalcade of domestic viol ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 29, 2009

    Can 49ers Become Next Mediocre Team to Ride Hot Streak to Super Bowl? Longtime Coach Says NOOOOOOOO!

    A good quarterback and the NFL's top receiver -- there's two things the 49ers could useAre the Arizona Cardinals a great team? Hardly. Are they a good team? That's up for debate. But the only question that matters come Sunday is: Are they good enough? Just as Tila Tequila can achieve success and st ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 29, 2009

    CHP Urges Sobriety on Super Bowl Sunday (Smart) With Series of Strained Football Puns (Silly)

    'I don't know, Ponch, you think all these football puns will convince people to avoid getting a DUI?'Broaching a serious subject via humorous means is often a dicey proposition. Play it too light and no one notices the wit; play it too heavy and you've trivialized your subject. Truly, it requires a ... More >>

  • News

    December 28, 2005

    Offensive Line

    Numbers guy and Stanford MBA Paraag Marathe has become a scapegoat for the 49ers' failure, but he's really the future of the NFL

  • Calendar

    November 23, 2005

    Quite the Catch

    Montana's Excellence

  • Calendar

    August 18, 2004

    Drop a Bomb

    Custom cars are really hoppin'

  • Calendar

    September 10, 2003

    Fool's Golf

    Your own private Caddyshack

  • News

    January 24, 2001

    Inner Demons

    They're S.F.'s new pro football team. They've got second-rate players, an untested product, and a concept with a history of failure. But that's OK -- they have a great marketing plan.

  • Calendar

    April 16, 1997

    Unspun

    They're S.F.'s new pro football team. They've got second-rate players, an untested product, and a concept with a history of failure. But that's OK -- they have a great marketing plan.

  • News

    May 8, 1996

    Letters

    They're S.F.'s new pro football team. They've got second-rate players, an untested product, and a concept with a history of failure. But that's OK -- they have a great marketing plan.

  • News

    May 1, 1996

    Hook, Line, & Stinker

    Everyone loves the 49ers. But even love has its limits. Are taxpayers willing to subsidize millionaire owner Eddie DeBartolo Jr.'s dreams of a new stadium when economists say it's a bad deal

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