Tim Lincecum

Tim Lincecum Gets His Grown Man On

Tim Lincecum got his grown man on. As the world saw today, Big Time Timmy Jim traded in the shoulder-length mane for the kind of fresh cut you can get for $75 in Nob Hill. Unfortunately, this means we must retire the Mitch from "Dazed and Confused" jokes. Already new look-a-like candidates are popp ... More >>

Tim Lincecum Freaks Out Gavin Newsom's Kid

Sergio Romo may look illegal. But, according to Montana Newsom, Tim Lincecum looks terrifying. The above image is making the rounds on the Internet. But it would seem none of the non-local rags have hit upon the possible rationale behind the former mayoral daughter's angst. Two words: Buster Posey.S ... More >>

Matt Cain to Start All-Star Game. May He Have Better Luck than Giants Predecessors.

Some controversy has erupted over the selection of Giants ace Matt Cain to start tonight's All-Star Game over New York Mets knuckleballer R.A. Dickey. This is a transcendentally stupid matter to get worked up over. If this game was meaningful and important, it wouldn't be held in Kansas City.Major L ... More >>

Tim Lincecum Helps Really Sweet Elderly Dog Find a New Home

While Tim Lincecum's pitching hasn't been much help to the Giants as of late, he's managed to be a help to at least one member of the canine persuasion.You might have watched the game last week when Lincecum appeared on field before the first-pitch against the Cincinnati Reds, with Timmy -- an elder ... More >>

Bottle Cap: This Eclectic Place Shouldn't Try to Fit In

Tim Lincecum: Some Reassuring Stats

Wayward Giants Ace Tim Lincecum's every-fifth-day shellackings have become a regular thing. Once a week, with certainty, a cavalcade of amateur psychology, pharmacology, and hand-wringing is released by Giants fans concerned that the trove of No. 55 gear they've invested in may come to be seen as sa ... More >>

Emily Luchetti Hawks Giants-Themed Cookies on Opening Day

The terms "baseball" and "baked goods" don't normally go together -- unless you're talking about Dock Ellis, the former Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher who managed to toss a no-hitter while high on acid. Well, San Francisco does take on Pittsburgh in Friday's home-opener. Ellis retired more than 30 years ... More >>

Matt Cain: Giants Overpay for Quality

​The news that Giants stalwart right-hander Matt Cain is the new beneficiary of a five-year, $112.5 million contract extension will, inevitably, be greeted by analysis of whether the team overpaid or not. There are three ways to answer that: "Yes"; "yes with explanation"; and "baseball salary numb ... More >>

Out of the Park

Tim Lincecum Gets Fat, Stops Binging on In-N-Out Burgers

​Last year, Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum confessed to reporters that, despite his lanky appearance, he tends to feast on In-N-Out with serious regularity. And he doesn't just order the combo meal. Lincecum -- at 168 pounds -- would down three double-doubles, two fries, and a chocolate-strawberry sh ... More >>

Tim Lincecum Sued for Allegedly Trashing Mission Townhouse

​Tim Lincecum's ex-landlord is suing the Giants pitcher, claiming he trashed his Mission District townhome, causing more than $200,000 in damages. According to the lawsuit, which was filed yesterday in San Francisco, Lincecum, better known as The Freak, broke plaintiff's personal property and stai ... More >>

The Franchise Episode Six Recap: Searching for Answers

SD Dirk/Flickr​In conception, The Franchise is not a very complicated show -- it tells human interests stories in the context of the Giants season with a healthy dose of insider access. It's built for a large audience, and as such is at its best when it's largely positive. The Giants need to be go ... More >>

The Franchise Episode 2 Recap: Hey Now, You're an All-Star

​I've written before that "The Franchise" is not really a show for Giants fans. In theory, it's a way for Major League Baseball to introduce some of the game's personalities to a broader audience at a time when they're finding it difficult to market most of their players. In its basic conception, ... More >>

Bryan Stow, Beaten Giants Fan, Coming Out of Coma

Coming out of a coma​Doctors are in the process of taking Bryan Stow, the Giants fan who was brutally beaten, out of his medically induced coma, media outlets are reporting. Stow, 42, has been in a coma at a Los Angeles hospital since the March 31 incident where he was beaten outside Dodger stadiu ... More >>

Tim Lincecum Donates $25,000 to Bryan Stow Fund

Sooooo gooood​Tim Lincecum is as good a person as he is a pitcher.  The San Francisco superstar said he will donate $25,000 to help Giants fan Bryan Stow pay his medical bills, according to media reports. Stow, a father of two, was beaten outside the Dodger Stadium as he walked to his car aft ... More >>

New Grub at AT&T Park, Simply Mochi, and Phogate Starts to Stink

Today in gossip, innuendo, and cold hard facts about the San Francisco food scene. Who cares if Tim Lincecum ended up cashed like some loosely rolled blunt last night in L.A., it's the first taste of new-season food we're looking forward to at next week's Giants home opener at AT&T Park. NBC Bay Ar ... More >>

Winning

Tim Lincecum's In-N-Out Binge

The breakfast of champions...​We can't decide. Does Tim Lincecum's new look more closely resemble Iggy Pop or the Christopher Walken "The Continental" character from Saturday Night Live? Consider it food for thought. Speaking of food and thought, we think Lincecum's professed favorite food order a ... More >>

SF Weekly Commenting System Finally Enters the 21st Century

Norman Rockwell, of courseSounding off just became that much easier...​Give a shout if you're enamored with SF Weekly's current commenting system. Anyone? Oh -- thanks, Dad. Well, get ready to ditch the ordeals we put you through to prove that you aren't an evil robot. We hate to break it ... More >>

San Francisco Opera Casting Call for 'Big and Strong' Men for Mystery Show

Looks like opera material to us...​Earlier today, my colleague Ian Port spotted a decidedly not-Figaro opera casting call seeking musclebound galoots with expertise in "push-ups, pull-ups, body strength, endurance, hand-over-hand, staged combat and full body control."Placido Domingo need not apply ... More >>

'Where's The Machine?' Guardian Has No Idea.

That's not Timmy...​Here's the funny thing about covering athletics or athletic events: If you make even the slightest mistake, you will be exposed as a sporting moron. Over at the Guardian, we don't question Tim Redmond's Giants fan credentials -- but it seems it didn't rub off on Steven T. Jones ... More >>

World Series: Are San Franciscans Too Drunk to Vote?

Now recite the alphabet backwards, and ... GO GIANTS! ​I'll admit it: Attendance in our office is pretty light. Things got a bit hot 'n' heavy last night. City economist Ted Egan may later be forced to calculate the cost to our fair city when workers opt to celebrate World Series wins by drinking ... More >>

SF Weekly Letters

World Series: Yelpers Ponder Which Giant to Sex Up

Your Game 1 starter, Mr. Popular...​Other than enabling horrible people to act like rock stars and allegedly extorting businesses, it turns out there's a really good use for Yelp: rating the allure of San Francisco Giants ballplayers. The example in question is a most titillating thread titled "Wh ... More >>

Feds Say Fuck No to Lincecum-Themed T-Shirts

ICE Fucking Took It​The federal government is not your friend. Barry Bonds knows this -- the home run king will be in federal court next year not for using steroids, but for allegedly lying to a federal grand jury about using them (this after a federal agent rooted through BALCO kingpin Victor Con ... More >>

East Coast Bias, Baseball Ruining SF Workers' Productivity

Their generation didn't get anything done either​The San Francisco Giants' playoff push is a good thing for area baseball fans, which in turn is not-so-great for the Bay Area businesses which employ them, according to a report issued Wednesday."Workers in San Francisco will likely accomplish less ... More >>

VIDEO: Win or Lose, Our New Giants/Lincecum Anthem (fuck yeah)

Fish Eye FilmsTimmy in a Snuggie? Fuck yeah!​We admit it: at first, we weren't huge fans of Ashkon Davaran's Journey-fueled Giants anthem (mostly because we really, really don't like Journey). But it grew on us. And who cares what we think -- nearly 800,000 people like the video just fine, evidenc ... More >>

Tim Lincecum Is Ready for His Close-Up

​Television networks enjoy showing off their expensive toys come playoff time. With FOX, that often involves battling robots morphing into various shapes to convey inane statistics. But it also involves high-powered cameras likely developed during the Cold War and now utilized to unnerve home view ... More >>

Shirtless Man Accused of Bizarre Vandalism

The shirtless man has an impressive resume of alleged criminality​When scouring the police reports, you've always got to keep an eye out for the inevitable appearance of the "shirtless man." There's no dress code for alleged wrongdoing -- but no-collar criminals do seem to produce some of the most ... More >>

Will Underdog Card Be Giants' Trump?

​Serious men and women self-applying the term baseball expert -- whose asses aren't affixed to bar stools -- have, near unanimously, counted the Giants out. You can tell a living, breathing "expert" to get stuffed -- but computers don't have feelings. And even computers are siding against the Gian ... More >>

The San Francisco Giants Tortured Quiz

Tim Lincecum is ready for the postseason. Are you? ​Yesterday, the San Francisco Chronicle ran an enjoyable quiz meant to separate the bandwagoners from the fans who cannot unsee what they have seen. We had fun. But we thought we'd come up with our own "Are You a Gamer?" quiz. To wit: 1. Which of ... More >>

Tim Lincecum Says 'F*ck' On Live TV -- A Giants Tradition

The more things change...​Giants ace Tim Lincecum answering "fuck yeah!" on live TV when he was asked if he was ready to be doused in champagne was many things. Was it entertaining? Yes. Honest? Yes. Unprecedented -- Giants fans know better than to say yes. What graying fan could forget Will Clark ... More >>

Good, Bad, and Ugly of Sporting Weekend

Smile and the world smiles with you, Tim​With college and professional football kicking off and baseball's pennant races rounding third, 'tis the season for sports junkies to never leave the couch. By the way, here are a few phone numbers for local divorce attorneys -- if, you know, this is a prob ... More >>

Barry Zito Gets No Love on Caltrain

Joe EskenaziBarry's Caltrain dis...​Sports fans -- and public rail enthusiasts -- may have heard how larger-than-life images of San Francisco Giants' stars are now gracing Caltrains' gallery cars. It remains to be seen if this will put more derrieres in AT&T Park's seats -- but it's a wonderfu ... More >>

The Case For Barry Zito

Barry Zito is a lot better than you think. Of course, that statement is relative. ​My old pal Randy Shaw at BeyondChron and your humble narrator will never be confused for blood brothers -- but we are both U.C. Berkeley alums and longtime San Francisco Giants supporters who have suffered mightily ... More >>

Giants' 'Dynamic' Pricing System Is Downright Evil

The Giants may not be able to afford Barry Zito, but Giants fans on a budget can now only afford to go to his games​Let me say it up front and outright: The San Francisco Giants' long-planned move to charge more for more desirable games makes good business sense. Including factors such as the day' ... More >>

Side Effects of Marijuana: Does Pot Mean No Payday for Tim Lincecum?

The fact the San Francisco Giants' Tim Lincecum was charged with misdemeanor marijuana possession following a traffic stop near his Washington State hometown barely raised eyebrows among local Giants faithful.  Come on -- a 25-year old West Coast kid, a snowboarder, with that long hair? Dude lo ... More >>

Celebrity Thanksgiving Meals

It's Your Friday Morning News Quiz!

He's frightfully busy...​Resignations! Condemnations! Tribulations! It's your Friday morning news quiz! 1. SF Weekly broke the story this week that former Supervisor and State Senator Carole Migden did what? A. Ran over more peopleB. Cursed a former staffer out on live televisionC. Opted not to ru ... More >>

Lo, the Madison Bumgarner Era Begins -- But Will It Be Any Good? And Can *Any* Pitcher Save This Giants Team?

​Shuffling dejectedly out of AT&T Park last night, Giants fans were left to ponder many pressing questions -- perhaps none more mysterious than what, exactly, prompted someone to commission a message on the stadium board reading "I'm Sorry, Kim. I Love You!" Baseball-wise, the situation was ju ... More >>

S.F. State Senator Blasts Pay Increases for U.C. Executives

 We recently wrote about a bevy of protesting University of California faculty members and researchers incensed that they were facing pay cuts and furlough days while top U.C. executives were earning more than the president of the United States -- or, even more unforgivably, Tim Lincecum. The ... More >>

Will Ghost of Atlee Hammaker (Who Isn't Dead Yet) Haunt Tim Lincecum?

Redrum...redrum...redrum...As we wrote on opening day, San Francisco Giants fans have been all too well trained to listen for that other shoe to drop. A team that has never brought a championship trophy back to this city has subtly taught us that every joyous moment will be eventually ameliorated by ... More >>

Giants Try Their Sales Pitch Again -- and Whiff

A short while ago, a well-meaning sales rep from the San Francisco Giants called and wanted to make a deal. He knew I loved spur-of-the-moment decisions to get cheap tickets to go see the team's sensational young pitcher, Tim Lincecum. So, how about this offer: Four-packs (kills the spur-of-the-mome ... More >>

San Francisco Giants Make Their Sales Pitch -- And It's Zito-Esque

As baseball fans, I think we can all agree that Tim Lincecum is spectacular. Even homeless men told me last year that the Giants were too painful to follow -- this coming from men who have slept on pavement for 30 years -- but they still peered through the fence when the Cy Young Award winner pitche ... More >>

Interview with the Bartender: Chug Pub's Terence Pon

Wait Until Next Year

SF Weekly Letters

Music for Swingers

The Giants' theme songs get us thinking outside the batter's box.

Taking a Shot for the Team!

A drinking game to get you through the Giants' dismal season.

Blue in the Bay: Dodgers Edge Giants in Season Opening Series