Subject: United Football League

• Can Fledgling Four-Team, Seven-City Pigskin League Prosper? This Former Bay Area Pro Football Owner Thinks So

  Can a new pro football league survive this economic blitz?The WFL, the USFL, the AFL, the CFL-USA, the WLAF -- and who could forget the XFL (He hate me, he hate me not)? The sporting world's mausoleum is dusted with a veritable alphabet soup of busted football leagues. Will the forthcoming United Football League join this legion of the doomed? The signs are there; let us count the ways: The league will feature four teams playing in seven cities, a geographical oddity that may perterb fans and c

  February 11, 2009

• Coach Is Who We Think He Is! San Francisco Squad in New Pro Football League Taps Dennis Green as Coach. Is Michael Vick Next?

  Dennis Green, who built up a stellar career as a San Francisco 49ers assistant coach, then the head man at Stanford and with the Minnesota Vikings -- only to have much of his reputation obscured when he delivered the most unintentionally hilarious postgame football rant in modern times (above) -- has been named head coach of the city's yet to be named franchise in the nascent United Football League. The four-team, six-city league (no joke) -- which kicks off in October -- is the brainchild of

  March 12, 2009

• Go Deep: Don't Miss Your Chance to Name S.F. Squad in Nascent United Football League

  The UFL, and its sexual logo, are coming!The term "San Francisco Values" gets bandied about a lot these days. And, since the question "What are 'San Francisco Values'" is nearly always a rhetorical ploy to push your own values or bash your opponents' it'd be nice to have an inarguable answer: "The San Francisco Values are facing fourth-and-long on their own 47." Launching a lower-tier professional sports league in this economic climate sounds like the kind of self-flagellation you'd pay good mon

  May 14, 2009

• UFL's 'Premiere' Player Draft Slips Beneath Media's Radar -- Were *You* Taken?

  What if you had a pro football draft and nobody came?We're not talking about players here, but the media. The NFL draft has turned into an all-day -- and we really do mean all-day -- bonanza for anyone who's ever toted a microphone to report from parts unknown and describe each player in one of three ways: "A natural athlete," "a big, strong kid who can manhandle the opposition when properly motivated," or "breathing a lot easier since the charges were knocked down to misdemeanors." There was no

  June 24, 2009

• Team That Shall Not Be Named to Be Named: S.F.-Based United Football League to Reveal Squad's Moniker Tuesday

  What's in a name? Find out Tuesday.​What's odder than a four-team, seven-city football league? How about a four-team, seven-city football league with the San Francisco team owned by the husband of the most powerful woman in the nation and no team names? We've written a bit about the intriguing United Football League, which polled fans to come up with names for its four franchises (yet, as late as April, was seriously considering having no names whatsoever for its teams). That would have been a

  August 7, 2009

• The Las Vegas Locomotives? Sin City Football Franchise's Lame Name and Lamer Rationale Bode Poorly for Today's San Francisco Unveiling

  When is a name a trainwreck? ​ As we reported last week, the San Francisco franchise in the nascent United Football League will today unveil its name, logo, and uniform design at a 10:30 press conference at AT&T Park. Yes, we'll be there with a camera. But our expectations have now been markedly lowered. Yesterday, the UFL announced the name of its Las Vegas franchise: The Las Vegas Locomotives. This is a remarkably banal and impotent name for a sports franchise -- in Vegas or anywhere. We

  August 11, 2009

• Are You Ready For Some Football? The Team Is Named 'The California Redwoods.' Still Ready?

  Joe EskenaziUFL Commissioner Michael Huyghue smiles while California Redwoods owner Paul Pelosi shows off what is either a large Jolly Rancher candy or his team's road uniform​A superstitious person would have picked up bad, teal and lime green vibes at the just-concluded AT&T Park press conference announcing the name of San Francisco's team in the nascent United Football League. First, as he stepped up to the podium, league commissioner Michael Huyghue inadvertently knocked one of the dec

  August 11, 2009

• Seen In San Francisco: Mascot for City's Tree-Inspired Football Team?

  Joe Eskenazi​Yesterday we reported that the city's entry in the fledgling United Football League will be named after the largest sedentary organisms in the world: The California Redwoods. It would seem that the city's trees, long neglected as source material for professional sports franchises, are taking the news well. Your humble narrator encountered the above arboreal superfan at Fillmore and Duboce. And while the Redwoods' first game isn't until October 8, it seems this fella has already go

  August 12, 2009

• Tree-Huggers, Meet Your Redwoods! Fledgling San Francisco Football Team Signs 31 Guys ... You Likely Never Heard Of.

  Joe EskenaziWho is man enough to wear this jersey?​Jerry Seinfeld once noted that, due to rampant player turnover, sports fans are "basically rooting for clothing." If so, that's bad news for any would-be fans of the fledgling United Football League's California Redwoods (I christen them "Tree-Huggers"). As revealed last week, the team's first-year duds will be an unimaginative league template prominently featuring Jolly Rancher green and teal (they swear it's "light blue"). You will not buy t

  August 18, 2009

• Newsom! Dellums! Who Will Win Mayoral Fantasy Football Spectacular? Who Will Explain What Fantasy Football Is to Ron Dellums?

  Justin Page'I dedicate this touchdown to L'Oreal...'​Mayors Gavin Newsom of San Francisco and Ron Dellums of Oakland come from different generations, but both have been assailed by their critics with the same adjective: detached. So no matter who drafts the better team tomorrow in a Yahoo! fantasy football mayoral matchup, critics will be well-armed. If the mayors studiously bone up on their fantasy football rankings and earnestly weigh whether Tom Brady or Drew Brees would be better suited to

  August 19, 2009

• It's Your Friday Morning News Quiz!

  I'm not the answer to Nos. 2 or 3 -- but put me in, coach!​Sinking boats, burning cars, Muni ... doing whatever it normally does. Was it Armageddon? Nope. Just another lovely week in San Francisco. Here's your quiz -- no looking at your neighbors'. 1. Police at San Francisco's Central Station responded to a ladies-only street brawl over the weekend that had spilled out of a nightclub on Broadway. One woman hospitalized another by striking her on the head with a stiletto-heeled shoe in a disput

  August 21, 2009

• UFL Fans, Be Prepared to See Advertisements -- On the Players

  American fans haven't always been thrilled to see advertisements on player uniforms​The announcement that the nascent, San Francisco-based United Football League has inked a deal with StubHub as its first sponsor was interesting on two levels. First, StubHub is a Web site that allows fans -- or veiled scalpers -- to resell tickets. If the league feels that a demand exists for UFL tickets that will compel fans to take to the Web and pay above face value ... well, good for them. More interesting

  September 8, 2009

• Handful of Local, Familiar Names on United Football League Rosters

  Aaaah! My eyes! They burn! ​It was Billy Crystal's Fernando Lamas character who made a catchphrase out of "It is better to look good than to feel good. (of course you remember this character! He's the "You look mah-velous" guy.). Along similar lines, former Mexican National Team goalkeeper Jorge Campos -- who looked like this -- said "if you look good, you feel good. If you feel good, you play good." So, what to do when, at the starting point, you look bad? Because, sorry, the United Football

  September 17, 2009

• California Redwoods Unveil Helmet Design: Phallic and Indecipherable

  Leggo my logo...​We at the Snitch love to hate on everything. Not two hours had passed since Gavin Newsom's baby slid down the chute, and we were already mocking Baby Montana's name. Headline: "Newsom Baby Arrives. It's... A State!"  We even pointed out that one of the baby's namesakes was a porn star. See what I mean? Haters.The same day the nascent United Football League unveiled its San Francisco team name, the California Redwoods, we ripped it apart with glee.  Headline: "Are You

  October 2, 2009

• Will *Any* Sports Bars In San Francisco Be Showing Tonight's United Football League Opener Between S.F. and Vegas? Apparently Not.

  San Francisco sports bars have turned their backs on the California Redwoods​We've talked about the United Football League's business plan, personnel, and ghastly, ghastly uniforms. But with tonight's debut game between the hometown California Redwoods and the host Las Vegas Locomotives, we'll finally get to see whether the UFL can produce watchable football. Actually, that all depends on your definition of the word "see." Because if you're hoping to catch the 6 p.m. kickoff at any local sport

  October 8, 2009

• It's Your Friday Morning News Quiz!

  Justin PageStay classy, San Francisco​Witness intimidation! Religious and sexual harassment! Bacteria-infested sandwiches! If that's the week it was, we're extra glad it's Friday. Also, time for a quiz: 1. Which of the following epithets did Assemblyman Tom Ammiano shout when Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger sauntered into a Democratic event in San Francisco's Fairmont Hotel? A. "I wish it was a tumor!" B. "Out, Nazi! Achtung! C. "Kiss my gay ass!" D. "Shit! He is back!" 2. Seven men -- and, later,

  October 9, 2009

• Few Show For California Redwoods' Football Opener -- But Fans Still Manage to Have Fun (Legally and Illegally)

  Jim HerdThere is grandeur in this view of life...​Text by Joe Eskenazi. Gorgeous photos by Jim Herd. In the many months between when we first reported the inception of the San Francisco-based United Football League up to the moment we wandered into a largely abandoned AT&T Park for the Saturday night home debut of the California Redwoods, we never did figure out the league's "mission statement." The UFL, it reads, "was developed to fulfill the unmet needs of football fans in major markets

  October 19, 2009

• It's 4th Down For California Redwoods In San Francisco -- Already

  Jim HerdCory Ross and the Redwoods apparently know the way to San Jose​On Saturday, we stopped by the California Redwoods' first game in San Francisco. If we knew the expansion United Football League's San Fran era would potentially be so fleeting, maybe we'd have picked up a signature plastic cup. Damn -- they didn't have any. Don't get us wrong, it was a decent football game. Sure, you could have switched the rosters of the home Redwoods and visiting New York Sentinels just before opening ki

  October 22, 2009

• United Football League Wants YOU to Vote For League MVP. If You Haven't Heard -- UFL Exists.

  Jim HerdIt's not too late for locals to catch the UFL action...okay it is. But you can still vote on what you likely didn't see. ​Readers may remember when we dropped by the United Football League home opener for the California Redwoods at a 90-percent empty AT&T Park. Overall, the football wasn't terrible -- though the neon uniforms are the worst thing since Jazzercise. Yet one can grow depressed wandering through the stands and seeing only forest green seat after empty forest green seat

  November 23, 2009