United Football League

San Francisco Bulls Invite You to Spend Your Last Day on Earth Watching Live Hockey

We can't think of a better way to spend your last day on Earth than a minor league hockey game. This Friday -- the much-anticipated 12-21-12 -- the San Francisco Bulls are hosting an "It's the End of the World as We Know it" game. Even if you don't like hockey, the team has a persuasive pitch. Whe ... More >>

Puck Yeah: Taking the Ice with the S.F. Bulls

Daunte Culpepper Horrifies 49er Fans

The Ghost of Excellent Quarterbacking Past...​The notion of Daunte Culpepper being offered a contract -- or even being remotely considered as quarterback material -- caused millions of sphincters to tighten among 49ers fans throughout the realm. "Has it come to this?" was likely the thought of man ... More >>

Daunte Culpepper, Jeff Garcia Players of the Week. Really.

Daunte Culpepper is 'Player of the Week.' Yes, it's 2010.​In the year 2000, life was good. The economy was booming and young quarterbacks Jeff Garcia and Daunte Culpepper were the class of the league. Fast-forwarding 10 years, much has changed. But former 49er Garcia and onetime Raider Culpepper a ... More >>

Jeff Garcia and 'The Jerseys That Should Not Be'

Et Tu, Jeff?​Jeff Garcia is one of my favorite football players of all-time. I first saw him play -- in person no less -- in October of 1990 when he very nearly led San Jose State to upset a damn good Cal squad in Berkeley. The Bears held on, 35-34. He next crossed Bay Area fans' paths when he pla ... More >>

United Football League Fashion Show!

Jon Dion OwensIs it really better to look good than to feel good? ​There is no old-timers day in modeling. Twiggy and Cheryl Tiegs do not prance down the catwalk after the cruel standards of their industry deem them old and unsuitable. There is an old-timers day, however, for the men who model foo ... More >>

Daunte Culpepper Fulfills Destiny, Signs With Sacramento Mountain Lions Football Team

​Former star NFL quarterback Daunte Culpepper, having already fulfilled his karmic fate by playing for the Oakland Raiders, has now continued upon his predetermined sports destiny by inking a contract with the Sacramento Mountain Lions of the United Football League.

Your Dream of Being Injured Playing Pro Football May Not Be Dead

Jim HerdCould this be you? ​San Francisco's participation in the fledgling United Football League was brief -- three home games and some surreal memories of a 90-percent empty AT&T Park populated by fans wearing highlighter-green uniforms. But that's no reason that San Francisco-area old farts ... More >>

It's Your Friday Morning News Quiz!

Jive...​Love! Labor! LOST! It's time for a Thanksgiving Week Friday Morning News Quiz! 1. Who is Laassad Bokri? A. The pizzeria chef senselessly stabbed to death on TuesdayB. The Film Commission head forced out by Gavin NewsomC. The Bollywood star detained at SFOD. The Giants' minor leaguer robbed ... More >>

United Football League Wants YOU to Vote For League MVP. If You Haven't Heard -- UFL Exists.

Jim HerdIt's not too late for locals to catch the UFL action...okay it is. But you can still vote on what you likely didn't see. ​Readers may remember when we dropped by the United Football League home opener for the California Redwoods at a 90-percent empty AT&T Park. Overall, the football wa ... More >>

It's 4th Down For California Redwoods In San Francisco -- Already

Jim HerdCory Ross and the Redwoods apparently know the way to San Jose​On Saturday, we stopped by the California Redwoods' first game in San Francisco. If we knew the expansion United Football League's San Fran era would potentially be so fleeting, maybe we'd have picked up a signature plastic cup ... More >>

Few Show For California Redwoods' Football Opener -- But Fans Still Manage to Have Fun (Legally and Illegally)

Jim HerdThere is grandeur in this view of life...​Text by Joe Eskenazi. Gorgeous photos by Jim Herd. In the many months between when we first reported the inception of the San Francisco-based United Football League up to the moment we wandered into a largely abandoned AT&T Park for the Saturda ... More >>

It's Your Friday Morning News Quiz!

Justin PageStay classy, San Francisco​Witness intimidation! Religious and sexual harassment! Bacteria-infested sandwiches! If that's the week it was, we're extra glad it's Friday. Also, time for a quiz: 1. Which of the following epithets did Assemblyman Tom Ammiano shout when Gov. Arnold Schwarzen ... More >>

Will *Any* Sports Bars In San Francisco Be Showing Tonight's United Football League Opener Between S.F. and Vegas? Apparently Not.

San Francisco sports bars have turned their backs on the California Redwoods​We've talked about the United Football League's business plan, personnel, and ghastly, ghastly uniforms. But with tonight's debut game between the hometown California Redwoods and the host Las Vegas Locomotives, we'll fin ... More >>

California Redwoods Unveil Helmet Design: Phallic and Indecipherable

Leggo my logo...​We at the Snitch love to hate on everything. Not two hours had passed since Gavin Newsom's baby slid down the chute, and we were already mocking Baby Montana's name. Headline: "Newsom Baby Arrives. It's... A State!"  We even pointed out that one of the baby's namesakes was a ... More >>

Handful of Local, Familiar Names on United Football League Rosters

Aaaah! My eyes! They burn! ​It was Billy Crystal's Fernando Lamas character who made a catchphrase out of "It is better to look good than to feel good. (of course you remember this character! He's the "You look mah-velous" guy.). Along similar lines, former Mexican National Team goalkeeper Jorge C ... More >>

UFL Fans, Be Prepared to See Advertisements -- On the Players

American fans haven't always been thrilled to see advertisements on player uniforms​The announcement that the nascent, San Francisco-based United Football League has inked a deal with StubHub as its first sponsor was interesting on two levels. First, StubHub is a Web site that allows fans -- or ve ... More >>

It's Your Friday Morning News Quiz!

I'm not the answer to Nos. 2 or 3 -- but put me in, coach!​Sinking boats, burning cars, Muni ... doing whatever it normally does. Was it Armageddon? Nope. Just another lovely week in San Francisco. Here's your quiz -- no looking at your neighbors'. 1. Police at San Francisco's Central Station resp ... More >>

Newsom! Dellums! Who Will Win Mayoral Fantasy Football Spectacular? Who Will Explain What Fantasy Football Is to Ron Dellums?

Justin Page'I dedicate this touchdown to L'Oreal...'​Mayors Gavin Newsom of San Francisco and Ron Dellums of Oakland come from different generations, but both have been assailed by their critics with the same adjective: detached. So no matter who drafts the better team tomorrow in a Yahoo! fantasy ... More >>

Tree-Huggers, Meet Your Redwoods! Fledgling San Francisco Football Team Signs 31 Guys ... You Likely Never Heard Of.

Joe EskenaziWho is man enough to wear this jersey?​Jerry Seinfeld once noted that, due to rampant player turnover, sports fans are "basically rooting for clothing." If so, that's bad news for any would-be fans of the fledgling United Football League's California Redwoods (I christen them "Tree-Hug ... More >>

Seen In San Francisco: Mascot for City's Tree-Inspired Football Team?

Joe Eskenazi​Yesterday we reported that the city's entry in the fledgling United Football League will be named after the largest sedentary organisms in the world: The California Redwoods. It would seem that the city's trees, long neglected as source material for professional sports franchises, are ... More >>

The Las Vegas Locomotives? Sin City Football Franchise's Lame Name and Lamer Rationale Bode Poorly for Today's San Francisco Unveiling

When is a name a trainwreck? ​ As we reported last week, the San Francisco franchise in the nascent United Football League will today unveil its name, logo, and uniform design at a 10:30 press conference at AT&T Park. Yes, we'll be there with a camera. But our expectations have now been marked ... More >>

Are You Ready For Some Football? The Team Is Named 'The California Redwoods.' Still Ready?

Joe EskenaziUFL Commissioner Michael Huyghue smiles while California Redwoods owner Paul Pelosi shows off what is either a large Jolly Rancher candy or his team's road uniform​A superstitious person would have picked up bad, teal and lime green vibes at the just-concluded AT&T Park press confe ... More >>

Team That Shall Not Be Named to Be Named: S.F.-Based United Football League to Reveal Squad's Moniker Tuesday

What's in a name? Find out Tuesday.​What's odder than a four-team, seven-city football league? How about a four-team, seven-city football league with the San Francisco team owned by the husband of the most powerful woman in the nation and no team names? We've written a bit about the intriguing Uni ... More >>

UFL's 'Premiere' Player Draft Slips Beneath Media's Radar -- Were *You* Taken?

What if you had a pro football draft and nobody came?We're not talking about players here, but the media. The NFL draft has turned into an all-day -- and we really do mean all-day -- bonanza for anyone who's ever toted a microphone to report from parts unknown and describe each player in one of thre ... More >>

Go Deep: Don't Miss Your Chance to Name S.F. Squad in Nascent United Football League

The UFL, and its sexual logo, are coming!The term "San Francisco Values" gets bandied about a lot these days. And, since the question "What are 'San Francisco Values'" is nearly always a rhetorical ploy to push your own values or bash your opponents' it'd be nice to have an inarguable answer: "The S ... More >>

Coach Is Who We Think He Is! San Francisco Squad in New Pro Football League Taps Dennis Green as Coach. Is Michael Vick Next?

Dennis Green, who built up a stellar career as a San Francisco 49ers assistant coach, then the head man at Stanford and with the Minnesota Vikings -- only to have much of his reputation obscured when he delivered the most unintentionally hilarious postgame football rant in modern times (above) -- ... More >>

Can Fledgling Four-Team, Seven-City Pigskin League Prosper? This Former Bay Area Pro Football Owner Thinks So

Can a new pro football league survive this economic blitz?The WFL, the USFL, the AFL, the CFL-USA, the WLAF -- and who could forget the XFL (He hate me, he hate me not)? The sporting world's mausoleum is dusted with a veritable alphabet soup of busted football leagues. Will the forthcoming United F ... More >>