Subject: Van Helsing

• Corpse Fried

  The Mummy franchise has seen better days.

  July 30, 2008

• Defanged

  Like Anne Rice's novels, Lestat employs metaphysical chest-beating at the expense of storytelling

  January 18, 2006

• Dorkula

  December 8, 2004

• The Dork Crystal

  August 4, 2004

• Old Faithful

  For the 2004 summer season, Hollywood sticks with what it knows

  May 26, 2004

• Monster Smash

  Van Helsing explodes monster movie legends with hip upgrades

  May 5, 2004

• Stake Tartare

  October 28, 1998

• Sarah Palin-Related Story Pitch a Top Contender For Worst E-Mail of All-Time

  ​As we've noted before, when your e-mail has the name of a newspaper in it, you get a lot of desperate missives. You'd be amazed at what communications professionals think you the reader are dying to know about; my favorite example is still the guy pitching a story about his stars-and-stripes emblazoned contact paper you could use to make your toilet seat resemble Evel Knievel's jumpsuit. After a while, they all blend into one another; the terms "Dear Mr. Joe," "AMAZING!" and "Your readers" be

  November 20, 2009