Subject: Word Processing Software

• They're Baaaaad: Matier & Ross Rely on 20-Year-Old Movie Tagline for Writing Inspiration

  "Don't call it a comebaaaack." The Chronicle's pop culture writer, Peter Hartlaub, did an amusing piece the other day about memorable movie taglines. Perhaps the most enduring -- and irritating -- tagline Hartlaub wrote about is from the 1986 sequel to Poltergeist. You all know it: "They're back." (The static written phrase doesn't adequately capture the high-pitched, sing-song voice of the little girl in the movie. It's more like, "They're baaaack.")   While few people can remember

  January 12, 2009

• Local Businesses Attempt to Cash In on Inauguration

    Tuesday's momentous swearing-in of President-elect Barack Obama means many things to many different people: change, unity, hope, and of course, marketing. Pepsi has set a national standard of co-optation, but smaller businesses are no less quick to piggy-back on the nation's excitement. Last weekend, doorknobs all over the Mission were hung with the above ad for a small gym outfit, LiveFit. It's a tad cheesy, but the connection between Obama and fitness is clear. The man is in v

  January 16, 2009

• Attorney for Bonds' Trainer Sums Up Ahab-Like Prosecution of Slugger as Testosterone-Fueled 'Game of Chicken'

  Paula Canny, seen here with client Greg Anderson, says the Barry Bonds case has become 'a guys' contest'When Paula Canny, the friend of and attorney for Barry Bonds' embattled former trainer Greg Anderson, is asked why the government has gone to such lengths to prosecute the former San Francisco Giant, she answers with one quick word: "Testosterone." It's not that her client is accused of finding novel ways of boosting (and masking) the amount of that substance in Bonds' body. She feels this is

  February 9, 2009

• Veteran Investigative Journalist: Don't Expect 'Change We Can Believe In' -- Government Won't Alter Stance on Rendition Case

  February 9, 2009

• Outhouse Arsonist's 22nd Flame-Out Marks Hot Weekend for SFPD

  On a busy weekend for crime, shootings, and walking in front of MUNI vehicles, the outhouse arsonist(s) returned once more, with a burnout on the 700 block of Chestnut Street yesterday. Deviating from the previous M.O., porta-john No. 22 was lit ablaze at 5:25 in the evening according to police; 20 of the previous 21 receptacles were immolated in the pre-dawn hours. See a map of all the city's outhouse blazes here.

  February 9, 2009

• Why Is Barry Bonds' Case Front-Page News? Because the Media 'Think We're Stupid'

  Barry Bonds in his new home uniformThe sight of Barry Bonds, in uniform, performing in front of packed crowds is not a new one. These days, however, the uniform appears to be a dark suit and striped tie. And the crowds are gathered at his ongoing perjury and obstruction of justice trial.Certainly, a federal case mounted against one of San Francisco's most recognizable celebrities is the sort of thing that attracts TV vans and print journalists as reliably as a downtown meteor strike. But, in the

  February 10, 2009

• 'Economic Revitalization' Plan Pushed by Raiders, Oakland Officials Is Delusional -- And Should Not Be Reported on Uncritically

  Even if your room looks like this, you've got to admit the Raiders' stadium plan is bogusIf Oakland politicos and Raiders officials earnestly reported that the sun rotates around the earth or that the world is shaped like a yam, we would expect something other than a cursory retelling in the next day's papers. So why, when the city and team announce that they hope to bring about "economic revitalization" via partly city-funded development centered around a new mega-stadium for the Raiders, are t

  February 16, 2009

• Mirkarimi Suggests Improvements to Save Bay to Breakers: Outhouse Arsonist Shits His Pants

  Who needs a stationary outhouse when you can have a mobile one? Somewhere in this city is an arsonist with an thirst for Porta-Potties. He -- pardon our stereotyping, but really now, what woman would be entertained by this? -- savors his press coverage each morning while sitting on the john; he soaks up how he's graced newspapers and TVs across the country and now the globe. But there is a troubling reality he cannot ignore. With 24 targets now obliterated in the city, he knows someday they wil

  February 19, 2009

• Outhouse Arsonist Doesn't Know Enough to Come in Out of the Rain -- No. 25 Set Ablaze Sunday

  Either the outhouse arsonist has inspired imitators -- likely -- or he's discovered Muni, as the 25th porta-potty in this increasingly old-hat crime spree was immolated Sunday evening in the hinterlands of SOMA. While the flaming outhouses that have dotted the city since November were once limited to the Russian Hill/Pacific Heights neighborhoods (and burned in the wee hours), the last three to go up in flames were a pair in Potrero Hill in the afternoon and evening and, now a john in the 500

  February 23, 2009

• Coalition for Responsible Growth Less Responsible About Reporting Campaign Expenditures

  Injury: Spending $100,000 or more on unsuccessful political campaigns. Insult: Getting dinged for thousands more dollars over delinquent campaign filings.There are more entertaining endeavors than being the bean-counter for the Coalition for Responsible Growth these days. The San Francisco political action committee -- which could be labeled either "anti-progressive" or "pro-moderate" depending on whom you want to get angry at you -- has rallied its troops by urging action in "taking S.F. on a s

  March 3, 2009

• Independent Radio Threatened with Higher Fees

  Sindre SkredeToday the House Judiciary Committee is hosting a hearing to consider the Performance Rights Act. One activist's missive suggested the act would cost indie radio stations an additional $1000 a year and force DJs to submit monthly reports of everything they've played. It's therefore being fought by the The Free Radio Alliance, which is against the idea of a performance tax on free radio. The counter initiative, which rejects paying royalties for playing songs, is the Local Radio Fre

  March 10, 2009

• Nurses, Public Health Advocates: What Good Is Universal Health Care if You Have to Sit All Day in the Waiting Room?

  The doctor will be seeing you ... sometimeTo many, the city's aggressive adoption of the Healthy San Francisco universal health care plan while simultaneously applying draconian cuts to the Department of Public Health's workforce and budget feels a bit like giving everyone a free pass to the amusement park -- and shutting down all the rides. Dave Fleming, a 20-year nurse at General Hospital, feared that, even as Mayor Gavin Newsom and DPH Director Dr. Mitch Katz speak boldly of San Francisco's s

  March 12, 2009

• Early Nominee for San Francisco's Vaguest Crime of 2009 (Booze and Bullets Prominently Involved)

  Robbed ... somewhere ... by somebody ... somehow. The San Francisco Police Department is often raked over the coals for its failure to solve -- or even attempt to solve -- a number of the city's crimes.But sometimes you've got to give the Boys in Blue a break. Take the following case reported at 11 p.m. on Sunday night. A 45-year-old man took a cab ride from a bar with a 21-year-old man he met there to the younger fellow's home. Once there, the 21-year-old brandished a pistol, causing the older

  March 17, 2009

• San Francisco Gallery Owner Claims Thieves Made Off with Quartet of Paintings Valued at $50K

  Gallery owner Michael Rosenthal says this and other paintings by Terry Hoff were stolen this morningMichael Rosenthal -- owner of the eponymous gallery on Valencia Street -- is perplexed as to why thieves ripped off four of his paintings in the wee hours this morning. Sometime between evening and 3 a.m. -- when he got a call from the San Francisco Police Department -- someone took a cro-bar to his metal door frame, lifting it off its hinges (and bypassing glass doors and windows). "Whoever got i

  March 20, 2009

• S.F. Gallery's Swiped Art Regained -- Man Buys Hot Paintings Out of Van at Market and Fifth

  This and three other Terry Hoff paintings were swiped from Michael Rosenthal Gallery on Valencia on Friday morning -- and recovered less than 24 hours laterLess than 24 hours after San Francisco police called gallery owner Michael Rosenthal in the wee hours to inform him a quartet of his valuable paintings had been swiped in a break-in, they did it again. This time, the cops had better news -- his paintings had been recovered. A 3 a.m. call on Friday morning informed Rosenthal about the break-in

  March 23, 2009

• Older Chronicle Employees Taking the Buyout; Depressing 'Goodbye Party' Scheduled for Friday

  This cake is part of your severance packageBlindfold? Cigarette? Buyout? Perhaps 50 union employees at the San Francisco Chronicle -- most of them from the paper's editorial side -- aren't waiting for the axe to drop and have already agreed to accept a buyout, says one of the paper's guild representatives. Carl T. Hall, a 22-year veteran reporter at the Chron and local guild rep, said the paper's buyout offer is open until the last day of the month. Hearst Corp. has expressed a desire to wash it

  March 24, 2009

• Sssssh! Super-Secret Police Crosswalk Sting Moved From Last Wednesday to Next Wednesday.

  Don't get caught doing this at Everglade and Sloat...A motorcycle officer's sick day forced the cancellation of a Wednesday crosswalk sting operation out in the Parkside -- but not for long. The sting will now take place next Wednesday, April 1. What's a crosswalk sting? Well, as Capt. Paul Chignell put it in a police bulletin, Plainclothes cops will "attempt to cross the street in crosswalks without being run over by speeding motorists. ... Motorists who fail to yield to these pedestrians will

  March 27, 2009

• Another One Bites the Dust: Esoteric, Independent S.F. Bookstore Succumbs to Crap Economy

  Small book-sellers have weathered tougher times -- but not manyDuring the height of the Philadelphia Phillies' 80 years of futility, the joke going around the City of Brotherly Love was that the local papers kept in standing type -- this was the days before laser printers -- the headline "KLEIN HITS TWO AS PHILS LOSE." If we still had standing type 75-odd years later here in San Francisco, we could preserve a variation of the headline gracing this story: "Independent S.F. Bookstore Goes Under."

  March 31, 2009

• National Survey Names S.F. 'Least Wasteful City in America,' Gives Locals Even More Reason to Lord It Over No. 25 Atlanta

  S.F. is the greenest in the realm -- or at least we say we areA study commissioned by the water bottle company Nalgene -- which definitely has a horse in this race -- has deemed San Francisco the nation's "1st least wasteful city" (their words) in a field of 25 major cities. Atlanta, as the headline indicates, came 25th, making it ostensibly the "last least wasteful city." You can see the city-by-city shakedown here; we beat out New York, Portland, Seattle, and Los Angeles to round out the top f

  March 31, 2009

• SF Weekly Learns Details of Mayor, SEIU's 'Tentative Agreement'

  In a joint statement as sparse as the mahogany furniture selection at IKEA, Mayor Gavin Newsom and the SEIU Local 1021 announced a "tentative agreement to restructure the existing collective bargaining agreement."  The SEIU is the city's largest union; its representatives claim to represent roughly 14,000 city workers. The text of the joint statement -- in its entirety -- is reprinted below: "The goal of this tentative agreement is to protect vital services for San Franciscans, minimize lay

  April 2, 2009

• SEIU: Mayor Agrees to Push 'Tax Hike' For November Ballot

  Following a marathon negotiating session with the mayor's office, the SEIU last week agreed to a series of concessions that could save the city scores of millions of dollars. The details of those concessions were not released to the public, but SF Weekly tracked down an inside SEIU source who explained what was going on. A series of "key provisions" posted today on the SEIU's Web site confirmed much of what our source told us -- with one intriguing addition: The city and county agreed to work wi

  April 7, 2009

• That 'Damn Lesbian' Roberta Achtenberg Thinks Now May Finally Be the Time for Executive Order Barring Sexual Discrimination

  CSU-San Luis Obispo Public AffairsRoberta AchtenbergYou can't bar the disabled from federal housing. Ditto that for racial or religious minorities, the aged, or nearly any other group -- but homosexuals. Amazingly, in 2009, one can still be barred from a place in federally funded housing based upon his or her sexual orientation. In fact, San Francisco's Roberta Achtenberg was nearly prevented from being the federal official overseeing fair housing because of her sexual orientation; Sen. Jesse He

  April 13, 2009