If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. And you're not beating the 1 percent. And you're not joining 'em if you don't know from lawn bowling. Enter the San Francisco Lawn Bowling Club. The longstanding Golden Gate Park establishment — which, yes, is populated by bowlers of all economic backgrounds — is happy to get you up to speed, gratis. Free lessons are available every Wednesday at noon "or at any specific time by appointment with any designated Club Instructor" for those keeping their nose to the grindstone at noon on a workday. Fuck it Dude! Let's go bowling!