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Letters to the Editor 

...We Never Got Around to Publishing; Aw,Jeez; Step 1: Write Press Release; Who Says the Dot-Com Gold Rush Is Over?; Nothing This Month; Today's Zen Koans; Sorry, We Don't Remember You; We Print This Letter as a Public Service; Cupid,Draw Back Your Bow; H

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...We Never Got Around to Publishing

SF Weekly greatly values feedback from its readers. Well, OK, that's a lie. Some feedback we greatly value; other feedback, not so much. A lot of it, to be honest, just gathers dust in an old file folder till we decide to throw it away. Still, feedback is feedback, and our readers' comments deserve to be heard, even if they're apropos of nothing or are virtually incomprehensible. So, here are real, actual letters that somehow never quite made it to our weekly Letters page.

Aw,Jeez

India has 970 million people. There's no one there you can ask?: Is have selfsex is good or not. I want a detail advice from u.

Raja
India

Step 1: Write Press Release

Step 2: Send it: I would like to send out a press release. Could you please let me know the procedure?

P.V.
Via Internet

Who Says the Dot-Com Gold Rush Is Over?

If we can talk you down to $15,000, maybe we can do some business: I have a domain name for sale that will be exceptionally good for your business: www.midwifes.com.

Think of the benefits of having this address:

1. Clients from anywhere in the world will be able to access your URL by typing "www.midwifes.com" in their browser.

2. Clients will be able to remember your URL easily.

3. Your business will be seen as being more successful. ...

8. Most importantly you can have a name that is directly related to your line of work.

CHEAP!!! $17,570.

Be fast!

Julian
Via Internet

Nothing This Month

But we've got your card: Enclosed are renderings of Limboe, Purgatory, Heaven, and Hell. You can see the preocupation with body parts and purportion. Decifer what you can of the printing and tell me if you are interested in paying for a similar illustration for say, the cover of your May publication in more vivid color. My pen and ink work has been better before it was stolen from me and I was fed back invasion of privacy and all that war crap. I can't take it much longer. It's like I need to get paid for some of my endeavors and achieve independently.

T.M.
San Francisco

Today's Zen Koans

What is the sound of one hand clapping?: Are you guys anti-Semitic or just anti-Christian? Why are the people on the left so damn closed-minded and hypocritical?

Joe
Via Internet

Sorry, We Don't Remember You

Nothing personal, it's just that we get threatened by so many big mouth bitches: You may or may not remember me. I'm the big mouth bitch who threatened to sue you for running anti-loft articles a few years back, and I'm now writing to apologize. Had I known then what I know now, I would never have placed that call to you. I guess you could say I was living with my head up my ass and did not understand the larger political picture. At that time, I did not realize these acts of civil disobedience were prompted by a corrupt Planning Commission.

Thank you for your time and for having the guts to publish such an honest newspaper.

L.F.
Via Internet

We Print This Letter as a Public Service

If it helps one person, it was worth it: Well I will like you publish in your organisation something about girls inc and who can they help becuse we will love to help girl to do what they wanna and what is right. Thanks.

J.M.
Via Internet

Cupid,Draw Back Your Bow

Oh, and smart to:I just won't a nice and good looking female!

C.B.
Beaver Falls, Penn.

Hey, What Up

When Lamar write, we call OK?: What up I am fine I want blind date with Lamar Ebamer I never see him long time. Bye.

M.S.
Northbrook, Ill.

A Problem that Solves Itself

By the time we finish reading this letter, she should be back at work: The temporary director of elections, Phillip S. Paris, Ph.D., and the City Attorney's Office are attempting to delay signature gathering in the recall of Mayor Brown and to deny San Francisco voters their right under state law to elect his successor. The first recall petition submitted last fall to Elections Director Patricia Fado was approved in seven days with three sets of revisions to the proposed petition.

Acting Director Paris has taken the maximum time allowed to respond to revisions he requested to the new recall petition. The delays by Dr. Paris could cause a special election in December or next January, costing taxpayers as much as a million dollars.

We the proponents refuse to give up our right under the California Constitution to elect the successor, should the mayor be recalled. Section 11041.1 of the California Election Code states that the recall petition must bare: "A request that an election be called to elect a successor to the officer (being recalled)." We included this in the recall petition approved last year by the Department of Elections (DOE) and we included it in the current petition.

The City Attorney's Office has an inherent conflict of interest in attempting to represent Mayor Brown, the Department of Elections, and we the disgruntled voters who seek to recall the mayor. Their interpretation of the new city charter, which we disagree with, benefits Mayor Brown and makes it more difficult for voters to successfully remove the mayor. Recall is the power of the voters to remove elected officials before their terms expire. It has been a fundamental part of our governmental system since 1911.

In a meeting on Monday, January 28, Director Paris suggested that the Recall Committee get an attorney if they dislike his interpretation of mayoral succession in the city charter. In a letter, dated February 8, he told the committee that they may not publish the petition without his approval and must remove the state-mandated request for an election of the successor.

The Committee to Recall Willie Brown intends to publish the petition and begin gathering signatures, over the objections of Director Paris. We have included wording in the petition expressing our disagreement with the DOE and the city attorney and to demand our right to elect the successor.

Sec.3.102 of the new city charter states on vacancies that: "If the Office of Mayor should become vacant because of death, resignation, permanent disability, or the inability to carry out the responsibilities of the office, the President of the Board of Supervisors shall become Acting Mayor." It does not address voters removing the mayor in a recall and therefore state law applies.

The wording on recall was streamlined when the new city charter, approved in 1996, was written and the recall of the mayor was eliminated.

We believe that Director Paris is protecting the mayor, saving his department the work of qualifying candidates for mayor for the November election, and denying San Francisco voters their constitutional rights. We look forward to Director Fado's return from maternity leave.

Jim Reid, Kevin Williams, Joyce Dattner,and Jason Olson
The Committee to Recall Willie Brown

A Lesser-Known Energy Crisis

Tell you what, if the king can't help, write back and we'll see what we can do: Sir, at 00:00, midnight separating Tuesday, Feb. 20, from Wednesday, Feb. 21, 2001, I was "zapped" once again. This punishment received from neighbors is painful and dangerous. It must stop. As is common for zapping I was awakened out of a sound sleep and my plight was witnessed by at least one other person.

The first time I was zapped was precisely at noon on Nov. 19, 1997. On Nov. 11, 1997, I had approached the Sunnyvale police for the first time. I was worried about the abusive treatment I had received from neighbors (and visitors to them) by those claiming to be police officers engaged in some kind of undercover operation. The zapping of me shortly thereafter was clearly an attempt to dissuade me from any further contact with law enforcement.

Aside from very transient (never more than half a second) paralysis, it is always the case that the inner ear is temporarily traumatized -- all-encompassing vibration effects are experienced and splitting headaches result.

How is zapping done? We can only guess based upon observations and known biographies of the zappers. To be zapped, there must be people in the apartments directly above us. We have at the last minute before going to bed randomly placed our single bed mattresses on the floor and observed thugs tracking us and their setting up equipment directly above their target. The zapping is some kind of punishing conditioning. It happens only after we have done something, such as mailing a letter to the FBI, which results in the disapproval of the bullies.

We are preparing an appeal to the King of Norway and other good men that they enquire of the United States why human rights abuses are allowed in Sunnyvale, Calif.

J.K.
Sunnyvale

Our Far-Flung Correspondents

How about a 5,000-word piece on selfsex: I am from India. What type of stories would you expecting from me? Please, advice.

N.M.
India

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