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New Found Glory 

Catalyst (Drive-Thru)

Wednesday, Jun 2 2004
Near the Earth's core there exists a subterranean conference room, replete with comfy leather chairs, chilled carafes of water, and delicately perfumed air. Recent meetings there have resulted in low-rise jeans, Wal-Mart's underwriting of NPR, and Jimmy Kimmel. In the corner, Hot Topic founder Orv Madden enjoys a sandwich from Burger King's low-carb menu and lovingly tends to a Lockheed Martin-made incubator that's specially calibrated to hatch pitch-perfect mall punks, who, when fully mature, will roam the surface of the Earth with the Warped Tour, feeding on the souls of unsuspecting American children. Resist.

About The Author

Nate Cavalieri


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