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New Found Glory 

Catalyst (Drive-Thru)

Wednesday, Jun 2 2004
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Near the Earth's core there exists a subterranean conference room, replete with comfy leather chairs, chilled carafes of water, and delicately perfumed air. Recent meetings there have resulted in low-rise jeans, Wal-Mart's underwriting of NPR, and Jimmy Kimmel. In the corner, Hot Topic founder Orv Madden enjoys a sandwich from Burger King's low-carb menu and lovingly tends to a Lockheed Martin-made incubator that's specially calibrated to hatch pitch-perfect mall punks, who, when fully mature, will roam the surface of the Earth with the Warped Tour, feeding on the souls of unsuspecting American children. Resist.

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Nate Cavalieri

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