In November 2013 you probably "didn't remember" to vote, the way you probably "didn't remember" to make elaborate plans for the Mayan Apocalypse in December 2012. Too bad: If the world had come to an end, you wouldn't have had to pretend to be upset about not voting this week.
But that's okay. You "forgot" to vote. We "forgot" to tell you what to vote for. We're the newspaper you deserve. What will we fail to tell you about next?
There's a reason for our apathy, though: If this is the best democracy can do, we should start shopping around for an app to lead us. Let four 20-year-olds renting a shared desk tell us who we hate, who we pay, and who will drive us to get leftovers from which pop-up B&B start-up that takes only bitcoin and baseball cards.
Until then, we choose the oblivion of fantasy. In our Non-Voting Guide we take you through what this election means in the grand scheme and then we go further still, introducing our own propositions for San Francisco-as-it-should-be, all things considered — the ballot measures the city deserves, since the ones it got are more suitable for a civilization that's already lost.