My aunt owns hundreds of Hummel figurines. My mom buys a Christmas ornament in every town she visits. And me, well, I keep adding to the jar of my cat's castoff whiskers I have tucked away in case cloning ever becomes affordable. Just about anything that exists is a collectible for someone, from those hideous Franklin Mint plates right down to discarded gum wrappers. Fancy a peek at some of the weirdest, most absorbing accumulations of local stockpilers? Check out Geek-tique 3: The Geek-tique Roadshow, a witty takeoff of PBS's Antiques Roadshow that encourages average Joes to display their cabinets of curiosities.
Things start off with an informal expo on Friday, at which Geek-tique's hosts conduct Roadshow-like interviews on video with willing amateur collectors. Members of the public are invited to showcase their goodies on any empty table and to participate in interviews; several collections (lint balls, PEZ dispensers, bizarre international candy, and a 250-pound masking-tape ball are among the highlighted hoards) will already be set up for perusal. The evening ends with a mod disco party with DJ Neil Martinson. Saturday and Sunday offer more time to peruse the strange assemblages of others and show off your own, with some fun additions on Sunday: a Q&A presentation on the whys and wherefores of amassing objects by event producer Elliott Lessing, the premiere of two new "meet the collector" videos by artist Ellen Lake, and a closing party with '60s British pop-style music from the Invasion and the Crown Heights. Start wondering who in hell saves this stuff at 6 p.m. on Friday at the Lab, 2948 16th St. (at Capp), S.F. Admission is free; call 863-3041 or visit www.thelab.org.
-- Joyce Slaton
Behind the Kitchen Door
In Havana's Barrio Chino lives a man once known as "The Cuban-Chinese Frank Sinatra." His voice wobbles with age, but when he sings, he steals your heart with that irresistible rumba croon. It's this sort of moment Cheuk Kwan went looking for in his documentary Chinese Restaurants: On the Islands, and it's not the only one he found: Between taking trips to a Buddhist temple on Mauritius and catching a Trinidadian restaurateur's deep sadness, Kwan plumbs the Chinese diaspora in the Caribbean in this smart, fascinating film. A screening begins at 7:30 p.m. at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 701 Mission (at Third Street), S.F. Admission is $7-8; call 978-2787 or visit www.ybca.org.
-- Hiya Swanhuyser
Bad Pun, Good Cause
Though there are those Republican Party haters who adore wordplay and are the proud owners of "Lick Bush" bumper stickers, many folks will be relieved when the onslaught of vaginal puns surrounding the upcoming election is over. That said, the "Down on Bush PantyWare Party," despite its name, looks hilarious. Organized by feminist coalition the Axis of Eve, the event uses the metaphor of exposure to call for transparency in government. The buying and selling of punny protest panties, along with entertainment by burlesque artists and musicians, starts at 7 p.m. at the Make-Out Room, 3225 22nd St. (at Mission), S.F. Admission is $10; call 647-2888 or visit www.makeoutroom.com.
-- Hiya Swanhuyser
The infamous one-of-a-kind Punk Rock Orchestra has an infamous one-of-a-kind accordion player, natch. Aaron Seeman, aka Duckmandu, is well known for his version of the entire first Dead Kennedys record, Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables. "Kill the Poor" on a squeezebox? That's either so right it's wrong or so wrong it's right, but either way, we're in favor. Even better, the Duckman is said to reproduce Jello Biafra's insane warble-screaming note for note. See him tonight as part of "Press and Release With Crisco Jones," together with the Don'ts and the Desoto Reds, at 9 p.m. at Studio Z, 314 11th St. (at Folsom), S.F. Admission is $5; call 252-7666 or visit www.studioz.tv
-- Hiya Swanhuyser