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The Snatch: Special "Orgasmic Meditation" Edition 

Wednesday, Apr 2 2014
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Over the weekend, people passed through the doors of the Oakland Scottish Rite Center and entered what is possibly America's most energetic conference this side of Comic-Con: OMXperience (OMX), a three-day orgasmic meditation (OM) conference that specializes in all things lady-business.

For those unfamiliar with OM, it is a meditation practice akin to yoga that focuses primarily on the clitoris. It's meant to improve sexual vitality and ultimately serve as a connection between two partners– for 15 minutes at a time.

While OM may seem to some just a highfalutin term for glorified masturbation, that's not the case, said OM founder Nicole Daedone. During her live demonstration Friday night on fellow instructor Justine Dawson before a crowd of hundreds, Daedone stressed that OM is not sexual, but solely about connection. To say that things got operatic from that point on is an understatement. As described by Daedone herself, she played Dawson's clitoris like a fiddle. For those in the audience, it was more like Yo-Yo Ma going apeshit on his cello while covering Metallica. And with that image now firmly implanted, here we present the fundamentals of OM.

1. Three's a crowd: The practice of OM is intended for groups of two. One is the stroker and the other is the strokee.

2. Build a nest: No, seriously. Create for her what's called a "nest." It should include a mat or blanket, several pillows with a firm cushion, hand towel, gloves, lube, and, sexiest of all, a timer.

3. Strokers, prepare: Clip your fingernails, keep your clothes on and, for once, 15 minutes will do just fine. Remember strokers, this isn't an exercise in finger endurance. Keep it at 15 minutes and be gentle. Stroke no harder than you would your eyelid. Ladies on the other end need only be naked from waist to knees.

4. Play on: Daedone said to imagine Santana's skillful fingers while stroking the clitoris. It's supposed to feel like a surge from an electric socket.

And, like Santana, OM may be best when performed in front of an audience. Jonathan Ramos

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