Remember Toni Braxton? Well, the We tv network is hoping you still do, because it's about to launch Braxton Family Values on April 12 -- a reality show about Toni and her sisters. From what we've seen of it so far, it's dull as dishwater. Its arrival does, however, remind us of all the other things we've seen musicians do on reality television that we really could've done without. Here, then, are our top six favourite gross moments:
6. Brett Michaels makes out on Rock Of Love
We don't really care who it was with, but every time Bret Michaels' tongue went in someone else's mouth on his dating show, it was like listening to a bulldog making out with a mackerel. And the visuals! Oh, the visuals! Absolutely hideous. Strangely, Bret redeemed himself with a stint on 2010's Celebrity Apprentice -- which he won. But we're not sure that we'll ever get over all the skank-licking of Rock Of Love. It was just all so ... damp. "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" isn't entirely ruined -- but it's close.
5. Gabe from Cobra Starship shows up on The Real World: Back To
Back before Cobra Starship existed and Gabe Saporta was
still doing the rounds with his pop-punk band Midtown, an emo girl was invited
to live in the house for The Real World: Back To New York
in 2001. The lady in question, Rachel, was all excited because a boy she had a crush
on, whom she'd made out with previously, was coming back to town. She spent all
anticipating his arrival, until it was revealed that the boy was Gabe from
Midtown, and that actually he wasn't calling her because what was a lovely,
romantic tryst to
her was merely just one more in a line of road girls to him. It was
depressing to watch. Gabe lost whatever little street cred he had by
appearing on the
show (albeit briefly), so he formed a silly electro band instead so all
the pop-punks would forget him and the silly hipsters with neon
wayfarers would embrace him. Job done, Gabe. Job done.
4. Meatloaf loses his mind over paint supplies on Celebrity
Here's a brief recap of what happened on Sunday's Celebrity Apprentice:
Meatloaf notes early on that "It's ugly when I get angry". Ten minutes later, and Meat
has lost his mind and is accusing Gary Busey (no, really) of stealing his paint supplies for
the team's art challenge (no, really, really).
bought those motherfuckin' sponges!" he exploded in one of the most
undignified outbursts ever aired on TV. "Part of that paint is
mine! Fuck you, motherfucker!"
"That was in my basket," Busey responded calmly.
"You do not wanna fuckin' start with me!" Meat continued,
entire body shaking with anger. "You'll be in the hospital in about four
The episode was resolved by -- of all people -- Mark McGrath, who truly proved once and for all how he
tolerates the insane contestants on Don't Forget The Lyrics!: patience and blind, blind faith.
bag of paint supplies was found shortly after his outburst and Busey
was forgiving -- saying that Meat was merely "dancing on
a rainbow with no fear and no doubt".
Glad that's cleared up then!