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Thursday, August 11, 2011

Nope, It's Still Not Okay to Compare a Current Band to Mozart

Posted By on Thu, Aug 11, 2011 at 3:37 PM

click to enlarge "You compared me to who?!"
  • "You compared me to who?!"

We don't really love playing language police with you, Internet, but in the name of All That Is Holy, this cannot stand: You went and compared the head guy in some indie rock band called Beirut to ... Mozart. Wolfgang Amadeus Fucking Mozart.

You know, Mozart! Likely the greatest talent that Western music has ever known (arguable, sure, but certainly likely). Sure, he's totally on the level of the songwriter of one New Mexico rock band with Balkan influences and trumpets and accordions and pretty voices and stuff. Totally.

No, he's not. Not even close. As

Jules Winnfield put it when comparing foot massages with cunnilingus, Mozart and Beirut "ain't the same ballpark. It ain't the same league. It ain't even the same fucking sport."

Yet here it is, in MetroWize S.F.'s Top 10 Best Bands at Outside Lands:

Best Band to Take a Breather With: Beirut

Beirut is an Eastern-European Balkan Folk Pop band helmed by a mutli-talented youngster from Santa Fe named Zach Condon. He's pretty much the Mozart of our generation -- idealistic, driven, inspired by magic, and extremely capable. As a performer, he's equally talented and backed by an eclectic band of merrymakers on trumpets, trombones, pianos, accordions, glockenspiels, and more.

Look, Beirut is a perfectly decent band. But even being "idealistic, driving, inspired by magic, and extremely capable" doesn't put you near the same class (sport, league, etc.) as Mozart. Sorry, guys. But it just doesn't.

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