Dear bullies at Rebecca Black's middle school,
The cat's out of the bag -- I know what you did.
Rebecca Black won't be coming back to school anymore. And it's all your fault. She tattled on you to ABC, and now the world knows that you're meany-faces and probably have cooties.
"When I walk by they'll start singing 'Friday' in a really nasally voice," Rebecca said in a Nightline interview that aired last night. "Or, you know, they'll be like, 'Oh hey, Rebecca, guess what day it is?'"
Of course Rebecca knows what day it is -- did you even listen to her song?
You were so bad that her mom pulled her out of your school and into homeschooling. Well I want you to know something -- you've failed, bullies. You've failed because Rebecca Black will not be contained. She will not be intimidated. SHE WILL NOT BE SILENCED.
In her behind-the-scenes making-of video for her new single, "My Moment," Rebecca said what we all know is true: "One thing that you can't do is let them stop you from doing what you want to do. So if you put up a video saying that you want to be a singer, and you sing a song, and if you're amazing or if you're not so amazing, I mean whatever those people say, if you really want to be a singer, then be a singer. Just don't let them stop you."
You hear that, bullies? She won't let you stop her.
Right now is an exciting time for Rebecca -- she won the Teen Choice Award for Choice Web Star on Sunday, and "My Moment" has more than 22 million views on YouTube. One writer at Billboard thinks she makes $25,000 a week from iTunes sales -- I know you don't know what that means, but I promise you it would buy you more Chia Pets or Tamagotchis or Pet Rocks or whatever it is that you kids like these days than you'd know what to do with.
What did you she do to make you so mad? Is the bowl of cereal in the "Friday" video stolen from your house? Did you cry like the little babies you are when your BFF to Rebecca's left didn't make it into the lyrics? Did she turn you down when you asked her if you could copy her pre-algebra homework?
Seriously, guys, Rebecca Black doesn't deserve your bullying. She's got bigger things to worry about right now, like returning Katy Perry's phone calls or making it to irrelevant awards ceremonies on time, or really important things like remaining safe in cars driven by 13-year-olds.
Like Rebecca says in her new song, "Were you the one who said that I would be nothing? Well, I'm about to prove you wrong."
Just you wait, you damn kids. Just you wait.
The random rapper driving a car on the freeway in the "Friday" video