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Thursday, April 26, 2012

Eight Chubby Male Musicians We'd Love to Cuddle With

Posted By on Thu, Apr 26, 2012 at 3:30 AM

Earlier this week, our hard-bloggin' sister paper in Broward County, Fla., ran a thoughtful piece titled "Eight Pleasingly Plump Female Musicians We'd Like to Get Down With." That post has since been flushed from the Internet because a) it turns out women are people, and b) fucking duh.

But famous-people sexy lists are to the internet what Twi'lek slave dancers were to the Rancor, so here's our fair's fair equal-time stab at the same general idea, just sexist and weightest the other way for once. Here then are eight chubby male musicians with whom we'd love to repair to the boudoir, share a glass of warm milk, and get to some stone-cold snugglin'.

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8. John Popper Because nothing screeches "comfort" like an extended harmonica solo.

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7. Meatloaf
If he tries to take it too far, we'll ask to sleep on it.

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6. Mike Daisey
Sure, you might say he's not a musician. But you know he'd tell us whatever we want to hear.

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5. That one guy from Insane Clown Posse
One of those guys is fat, right? He could use a hug!

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