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Monday, August 27, 2012

Noel Gallagher Claims Rock Stardom Will Go Extinct, Apparently Hasn't Heard of Other Forms of Stardom

Posted By on Mon, Aug 27, 2012 at 4:04 PM

click to enlarge Noel Gallagher performing in S.F. - CHRISTOPHER VICTORIO
  • Christopher Victorio
  • Noel Gallagher performing in S.F.

Aw, look: Another one of Oasis' Gallagher brothers uttered a statement that managed to be arrogant, ignorant, and fuddy-duddy all at the same time!

This time it was the elder (and usually saner) one, Noel, speaking to the U.K.'s Sunday Express about the impending die-off of that rare and vital species, the Rock Star:

Rock stardom will die because nobody will make enough money any more to be rock stars. Everybody will be jobbing musicians. It's unbelievable. The music industry has changed beyond all recognition. The music business we signed in to does not exist any more.

Pity the poor rock star! How will our cultural ecosystem recover? Who will we get to trash hotel rooms? And sleep with multiple groupies at the same time? And release bloated records that only sound good if you've been doing coke for three years straight?

Oh, that's right: DJs, pop stars, and rappers.

Granted, the music industry has changed hugely since Oasis' heyday. But many musicians are making rock-star money nowadays -- most of them just aren't rock stars. Some of them are rappers. Some of them are pop singers. A lot of them are DJs. And instead of earning millions shilling plastic discs, these DJs, singers, and rappers make bank by playing huge shows for their fans or licensing songs. The fact that they now have to perform live regularly does not seem to stop them from fornicating with models, doing lots of drugs, wrecking hotel rooms, and conjuring inanely specific requests for their handlers.

How rich are they? Forbes just rounded up a list of the beat jockeys with the fattest wallets, placing Tiesto ($22 million net worth), Skrillex ($15 million), and Swedish House Mafia ($14 million) at the top of the heap. In his latest Rolling Stone cover story, Rick Ross claims to be worth millions. (And on Ross' new album, Jay-Z brags about his $150 million contract with Live Nation.)

While technically these artists don't hold guitars onstage, they certainly occupy the popular imagination in a lot of the same ways that actual rock stars do. So, Noel, don't worry. Guitar-wielding may no longer land you a house in Beverly Hills, but we hear Skrillex parties pretty hard.

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