There are several joys to being heavily tattooed. First: you look like a badass. Second: people can stitch together your entire life story by merely looking at your skin. And third: if you have too many tattoos to count, then chances are nobody is going to notice the terrible spur-of-the-moment mistakes you have inked into yourself. Lil Wayne has some truly meaningful tattoos -- about his family, his hometown, his crews, his friends, his associates, music he likes, and places he values. He also has some work that is so insane, it doesn't just defy logic, it boggles the mind. Here, then, are Lil Wayne's top 5 most ridiculous tattoos:
5. "MISUNDERSTOOD" (along hairline, side of face)
Now, on its own, having "MISUNDERSTOOD" tattooed on the side of your head isn't the worst thing in the world (especially if you have a song with the same title -- see above). Is it a little over-dramatic? Of course it is. The problem, in this case, is not the actual tattoo, it's the other ink that lives in close proximity. Because when you have "SIKK FUKK" and "I AM PIMP" tattooed on your neck, maybe that "MISUNDERSTOOD" on your forehead is a little difficult -- nay, impossible -- to take seriously.
4. 92782 (right forearm)
Now, it's one thing getting a nickname tattooed on your neck (Lil Wayne has "WEEZY" on his), but it's quite another getting your own birth date in huge numerals on your forearm. Is your memory so bad that you need a permanent reminder? Is this an indication you have a phobia of Alzheimer's? Are you concerned that your fans won't know when to send you a birthday card? (Newsflash: you're world famous and Google exists -- they'll figure it out on their own). Or are you just trying to save time for employees who are tasked with filling out personal forms for you?
3. ESPN (back left arm)
L'il Wayne's body has several endorsements on it. One for Rolls Royce, in fact, takes prominent place on his left bicep. Now, this is a reasonably stupid tattoo to get unless you own the company, but at the very least it represents something bigger than a mere brand. A Rolls Royce tattoo can be a symbol for wealth, for success, for a love of luxury -- so, okay, we get it. However, we cannot, for the life of us, figure out why anyone not involved in playing professional sports or acting as a commentator about professional sports would get the ESPN logo tattooed on them in a prominent back-of-arm position. What does that represent? A rare appreciation for sitting on the couch and watching TV?
3. Teardrop (mouth)
L'il Wayne had so many teardrops tattooed on his face, his mom made him cover one of them
up with a tribal symbol. That's all good; the teardrops are classic and you have to like a dude who respects his mother's wishes. What we can't figure out, though, is why anyone would get a teardrop tattoo next to their mouth. Because mouth + teardrop = drool. 1. "A GUN" (right palm) & "TRIGGER" (right index finger)
When your entire body is covered in tattoos (some of which are gang-related, one of which is a gun on your neck), we think you can safely assume that the world at large will view you as possibly armed and definitely dangerous. But still, Lil Wayne felt the necessity to get "A GUN" tattooed on his right palm -- not a picture of one: the actual words "A GUN". No font, no embellishments, no nothing. Just "A GUN". Not entirely convinced that his point was simple or clear enough, Weezy also got "TRIGGER" tattooed along his right index finger. It is our sincerest hope that he waves this hand around when he's arguing with his friends and makes "Pee-ow, pee-ow!" noises. L'il Wayne performs with T.I. and 2 Chainz, 7:30p.m. Friday, Aug. 30, at the Sleep Train Pavilion, Concord, $46.25-$112.50.