"No, we don't know where Tupac is."
Thanks for cleaning that up, CIA! Shouldn't you be busier than this? (Twitter)
"Now I'm sober, I don't get calls from certain people that I used to... the drinking friends. Now I'm the bum-out to them. Who wants to invite the sober guy to the party? You know who has been incredibly supportive? Iggy Pop. He had a lot of great advice; he's been through it all."
Deryck Whibley and Iggy Pop are sobriety buddies. (Kerrang!)
"Lately I've been so into Harrods' Food Hall cheese."
Can you tell that Courtney Love is turning 50? (XOJane)
"Britney walked me like a dog, spanked me with a whip... It was the greatest moment of my life."
When a group of dancers tells Nicole Richie to get on all fours, by God, she does it. (The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon)
"If I can't get up and go to the bathroom myself and I've got tubes up my ass and an enema in my throat, then I've said to Sharon, 'Just turn the machine off'. If I had a stroke and was paralysed I don't want to be here."
That's the wrong hole for an enema, Ozzy Osbourne, but okay... (Daily Mirror)
"My hope for the future, not just in the music industry, but in every young girl I meet... is that they all realize their worth and ask for it."
Taylor Swift wrote this in the Wall Street Journal
"I can't believe I put together the group and then I'm at Walmart buying One Direction bags for my nieces. Like, something is wrong with this picture! Can you guys please send me a box of One Direction goodies? Somebody help me out here. Not only do I not get a cut, but now I'm buying bags for my nieces, with the boys' faces on it. I was like, 'What?'... Where's my cut? Seriously?" (Heat
Nicole Scherzinger put One Direction together on the UK's X Factor. Where IS her cut? (Heat)
"Girls, what's up? That song is meant to be happiness, not fights. No drink-throwing. It's not nice. It's really annoying and it's bloody sticky."
Ellie Goulding, quaintly demonstrating how to stop in-crowd fights in England. (Digital Spy)
"I don't enjoy watching another act perform because I just think 'Oh man, I want to be up there.' That's why I don't enjoy festivals anymore."
Ed Sheeran doesn't want to be at any shows now, unless he's the one playing (DPA)
And finally, a New York couple devised a cunning way to meet Paul McCartney: