By Benjamin Wachs / Logo by Conor Buckley
Maybe the anarchists are right: if every single government meeting scheduled for this week were canceled, nobody would notice.
The entire city is bracing for Halloween-in-the-Castro, which becomes more nightmarish by the minute, but the word “Halloween” doesn’t appear on the agenda of a single item at City Hall - except in a small acknowledgment that they’re received “letters from concerned citizens” about it.
They have also, the item goes on to note, received letters about the need for fire-safe elevators, the Santa Barbara fires, the Folsom Street Fair, complaints about the Housing Department, and the loud noise associated with construction.
If anything, city government is working hard at hardly working – going that extra mile to be extra irrelevant. Only four meetings will be held – and the activities up for consideration tend towards the extra mundane. A lot about stop signs, “landmark trees” and committee appointments.
Monday, October. 29
1 p.m.: Land use & Economic Development Committee
Like a werewolf under a full moon, the Land Use & Economic Development Committee is experiencing strange ...
Supervisor Daly urges restoration of two way traffic on Ellis and Eddy Streets, while Supervisor Mirkarimi will be “urging restoration of two-way traffic on Hayes Street.”
What happened? My guess is that Daly bit Mirkarimi, and that the day Sean Elsbernd goes missing they’ll both show up for work with finger bones sticking out of their teeth.
Meanwhile, supervisors Dufty, Maxwell, Ammiano, and Peskin are still their regular selves … they won’t be urging, they just be “supporting” the development of a city-controlled electricity generation project.
It’s nice that they still care, though. Sometimes this committee just goes through the motions. Instead of urging or supporting, they’ll just be acknowledging the need for “conditional” zoning changes for any future project involving a city school; and “revocable” permission for public sculptures on Webster street and Lindin street.
Tuesday, October 30
11 a.m. - Transportation Authority
This week the city’s Transportation Authority elects a new vice-chair. My suspicion is that the last one gnawed his leg off in order to escape from some of the city’s most boring meetings.
They’ll also approve almost $500,000 for a bicycle safety program. I’m not sure if that’s to protect bicyclists, or to protect the rest of us from bicyclists, but either way I’m suspicious. The safest thing for bicyclists, it seems to me, is for them to OBEY TRAFFIC LAWS LIKE THE REST OF US, YOU HOLIER-THAN-THOU SONS OF BITCHES! But, obviously I don’t understand the way in which combating global climate change also makes you impervious to physical harm.
2 p.m. – Full Board of Supervisors
This week the Supervisors:
Examine 8 bills impacting parking and traffic (impacting over 9 stop signs)
Update 8 city codes
Designate 4 city trees as “landmark trees”
Settle 3 lawsuits???
Examine 2 planning and zoning bills
They also get yet another strange urge, this one supported by all nine supervisors. They’ve all signed on to a resolution:
“Urging Speaker Nancy Pelosi to continue to support and immediately schedule a vote on HR 106, which reaffirms the proper recognition of the Armenian genocide.”
Normally, this is the sort of thing that would fall under our “toothless proclamation of the week” section, except that this is actually pretty serious: Speaker Pelosi’s district is in San Francisco, meaning they actually can influence her and foreign policy.
Finally, Supervisor Chu seems to be getting her sea legs: this week she’s sponsoring what I think are her very first bills! Both are relatively routine acceptance of grants and authorization of city agencies to spend the money.
Thursday, November 1
10 a.m.: Rules Committee
This week, the rules committee will spend pretty much all its time appointing people to boards. The Peak Oil Preparedness Task Force, the San Francisco Redevelopment Agency, the Child Care Planning and Advisory Board … you know what? Next Halloween, I’m so dressing as a member of the Child Care Planning and Advisory Board.
Also interesting to notice – you read it here first – is that Tom Ammiano’s effort to reform the city’s jobs programs is picking up more sponsors. Mirkarimi, Peskin, and Maxwell are now also attached.
Finally, we come to our Toothless Proclamation of the Weak. This time it’s an easy pick: Supervisors Dufty and Peskin are declaring Nov. 14 to be:
“World Diabetes Day in San Francisco.”
Which comes exactly two weeks after we all gorge on candy (and booze) and our insulin production system shuts down. Why not make WDD on 10-31, team? Keep up the good work!
And I’ll see you next week – assuming anything’s left after the real city business of street parties is over.
The Snitch's SFGovernmentInAction keeps readers informed of the upcoming business of San Francisco every Monday morning.