“Help I’ve been trapped in an alternate dimension and everything SUCKS!!!”
Chicago Bears at Oakland – 17-6 “Da Bears”
Being a Bay Area sports writer must be the worst the job in the nation, every pro team sucked in 2007 except the Sharks (who really watches hockey besides mulleted canucks?). Thankfully I am gainfully unemployed and do not get paid for this so I can’t be considered a professional sports writer. The Raiders continued to recite from the most holy Litany of Divine Suckage this week dropping another snoozer of a game to “Da Bears” and last year’s Super Bowl whipping boy Rex Grossman (season stats before this game: 1 touchdown and 6 interceptions).
The Raiders did play solid defense against Da Bears and held a 6 – 3 lead. This lead me to believe the Raiders might actually win one when Da Bears had to resort to Grossman, a QB who is more inconsistent than the Democrats position on . . . well, anything (side note: Will the left ever acquire a backbone?). Unfortunately for the Raiders, Sexy Rexy connected on a 59 yard TD pass to give Da Bears a 10 – 6 lead with three minutes to go. The Raiders had one last chance with 2 minutes left in the game, but as Seatwarmer #1 (a.k.a. original starter Josh McCown) dropped backed to pass at his own 10 yard line he failed to notice the rush, got sacked, fumbled the ball, and crushed the Raiders' tiny hope of victory. I know JaMillions Russell got to camp late but can he be any worse than what’s there now?
The Raiders have always lived and died by
the machinations of their innovative and controversial owner Al Davis. One look at the decaying, withered husk of this once great football personality says all you need to know about the Raiders.
Offense, Offense, Offense. Baby faced coach Lane Kiffin was supposed to be the great offensive mind behind the powerhouse USC Trojans of the last couple years, maybe he just doesn’t translate to the pros.
49ers at the Seattle Seahawks “Monday Night Mayhem” - Seattle 24 – 0
In sport where the fewest amount of points you can score is 2 and the average score is 6, the 49ers could not have outscored a soccer team. The devolution of Alex Smith seems to be firmly on track. This offense will go down as the worst in 49ers history and one of the worst in the league. The most disturbing play of the night was the 49ers inability to get one foot on a 4th down when the game still had plenty of time left.
Alex Smith – Last year’s show of improvement has been completely erased by dismal play this year (Alex is the lowest rated passer in the league).
The Receivers – Sure, Alex has been playing bad but these guys have to own up to their fair share of dropped balls and nonchalant route running.
49ers!! At least the Raiders managed to score.
(RaidersSuckNinersSuck runs every Monday unless there's some Monday night football, which won't be likely with our two rimjob Bay Area teams.)