Get SF Weekly Newsletters

Monday, January 7, 2008

The Suckiest NFL Team in the Bay Area Is - The 49ers

Posted By on Mon, Jan 7, 2008 at 8:16 AM

click to enlarge raidersuckninersucklogo.jpg

Warning: If you’re a fan of a team in the playoffs and live in the Bay, you probably like the Patriots, and you’re a smegma-slurping poser; you might want to get that checked out by a professional. Who wants to root for winners when your team figures out embarrassing ways to lose nearly every week!

The Oakland Raiders

A whiz kid new coach, a returning defense that was top five in the league in ’06, and the first pick in the draft. Oh, how I love the smell of crushed hope. The whiz kid got whizzed on, the defense got run on, and the #1 pick didn’t play until late in the season and looked horrible. The Raiders put together another 4 – 12 season and coach Lane Kiffin is already losing decision-making battles to his geriatric master “Ironfist” Al Davis. I only see more suckageness from Raider Nation next season, and what I’d really like to see from the Raiders next year is another sixty-yard string of consecutive penalties (see week 16).

The San Francisco 49ers

Like their counterpart across the bay the 49ers started the season with hope, but ended it in one giant clusterfuck. A vastly improved 7 – 9 in ’06 made them hungry, then seven consecutive losses in '07 turned that hunger in the swollen malnutrition of a disabled third world child. The offensive line got beaten like Hillary in the primaries, and in turn, QB Alex Smith got hurt and whined for the better part of the season. Coach Mike Nolan's relationship with Smith degenerated into public shit-talking. Rookie linebacker Patrick Willis lead the NFL in tackles, too bad he couldn't help the O-Line, the worst in the last 25 years of 49er football.

Supersuckers of the Year:

I’d like to give it to the Raiders for consistent suckitude, but I have to give the trophy to 49ers for destroying all hope garnered the previous year. Congratulations 49ers!! YOU SUCK!!!

click to enlarge ninerscup_easy_final_thumb.jpg

— Snitch Staff Report

  • Pin It

Tags: , ,

About The Author

David Downs


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed

Like us on Facebook


  • Phish at the Bill Graham Auditorium
    Phish is in the midst of a block of sold out shows at the Bill Graham Civic Auditorium (October 27-29). The Monday night concert featured a rare first set opener of “Walfredo” with the band members switching instruments for the song. The evening’s highlights included John Fishman and his iconic vacuum cleaner solo and favorites such as Chalk Dust Torture, Slave to the Traffic Light, Axilla, Rift, 2001 Space Odyssey, and Maze. The show also featured Phish’s debut of a, seemingly impromptu, version of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” to with roaring approval of the, singing along, crowd. With Game 6 being tonight, partying Phish fans will join Giants fans in Civic Center Plaza where there will be a World Series viewing party on a large screen set up by the City. Photography by Jamie Soja.
  • The 4th Annual Masquerotica 2014 - NSFW
    The theme this year was Carnaval Mystique for the 4th Annual Masquerotica at The Factory. Attendees were entertained by strip dance, trapeze, and live music. Photographs by Calibree Photography.