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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Cindy Sheehan's Distributing Rubbers? Sounds Like Top-10 List Fodder To Us

Posted By on Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 2:12 PM

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By Joe Eskenazi

What better way to paint your political opponent as a scumbag than handing out scumbags?

Sorry, sorry, couldn't resist. Well, anyway, everyone's favorite long-shot Congressional candidate Cindy Sheehan has found a jolly new way of getting her name into the press -- and this is saying something.

Sheehan's supporters have been handing out condoms (green condoms, fittingly) affixed to "I heart Cindy" buttons. Is this the first time a candidate for national office has doled out personalized birth control devices? I'd say the odds are heavy; perhaps Sarah Palin might even utter a "You betcha!"

So, without further bloviation, the Top 10 Cindy Sheehan for Congress Slogans to Go Along With a Free Condom:

10. Let's ALL get lucky.

9. Cindy will be there when this rubber hits the road.

8. In, out, repeat. In, out, repeat. But enough about the insidious relationship between members of government and high-powered, private-sector consulting firms...

7. Please feel free to dispose of this jimmy on San Francisco's streets. Then it might find its way into a Matt Gonzalez collage.

6. This year, have some fun in the voting booth.

5. Support our troops -- plough one!

4. Piece and Love!

3. There has to be way to get a dig in on Pelosi's lack of backbone. There just has to!

2. Enjoy this useful gift and think not of Cindy Sheehan's lack of qualifications to hold higher office.

1. (To the tune of "Row your boat") Fuck, fuck, fuck a duck, screw a kangaroo. Finger-bang an orangutan, support your local zoo! Sheehan '08!

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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