San Francisco 49ers tight end Vernon Davis is such a spectacularly good-looking human being that there is absolutely nothing he can look bad doing. Be it fumbling, dropping passes, or even being thrown off the field of play by his coach for poor play and insubordination
-- an act that spurred one of the most memorable crazed post-game rants in recent NFL history
-- Davis still looks like he just showed up from his handsome lesson.
So we were entertained by a lasciviously written Q&A session with Davis
in the fashion-centric Honey
magazine; it's a good bet that the intended reader of this article has a wholly different connotation of the term "tight end" in relation to Davis than his position on the gridiron.
We'll give it to Davis, the man knows his fashion (and makes us consider our own fashion chops when we were his age, 25. Or now, yes. Or now.). But it makes your humble narrator's one brush with Davis all the more curious considering it took place at the downtown Old Navy -- a place as synonymous with high fashion as McDonald's is with high cuisine.
Back in Davis' rookie season, your humble narrator was heading down the big escalator at Old Navy -- I do my part to keep the V-Neck undershirt industry in business and that's a place to get them.
At that point, I noticed an extremely tall man wearing a red, No. 85 49ers jersey at the entrance. Just as I thought "Boy, someone sure is a big Vernon Davis fan," it quickly became apparent that this was Davis. This was a charitable event -- Old Navy would be useless for a man of Davis' herculean build; the place features three sizes: small fat guy, medium fat guy, and large fat guy.
After reading Davis' fashion-savvy interview in Honey, though, I got to thinking: After setting foot in Old Navy, did he rush home and take a shower? Did he have to do the equivalent of seven Hail Marys at the church of Kanye West? Did he need to apologize to Salvatore Ferragamo personally?
Finally, now that we know Davis is a sartorial ace, we wonder: Does it physically pain him to wear loud gold pants on the job?