Get SF Weekly Newsletters

Monday, August 3, 2009

Republican Committee Accuses Nancy Pelosi of Cutting Sweetheart Deals for Her 'Nephew,' Gavin Newsom -- Who Is Surprised to Discover He's Pelosi's Nephew

Posted By on Mon, Aug 3, 2009 at 12:01 AM

click to enlarge No use hiding it, Nancy! We know your secret!
  • No use hiding it, Nancy! We know your secret!
A blustery Friday release from the National Republican Congressional Committee accused Rep. Nancy Pelosi of playing hardball politics to wrest Treasure Island away from the Navy. No surprise there -- that's not the first we've heard of that. But the Republicans' rationale did strike us as odd: The committee accuses Pelosi of directing federal funds to her hometown to benefit her nephew -- her "nephew" being Mayor Gavin Newsom.

Say what? The release -- which also uses the term "last Wednesday" to describe a meeting that took place in 2004, appears to have been removed from the NRCC's site. Here it is below:

Aunt Nancy.doc

Is Gavin Newsom really Nancy Pelosi's Nephew? We asked the man who ought to know best -- mayoral spokesman Nathan Ballard.

"These conspiratorial coxcombs are confused about consanguinity," replied Ballard, showing a flair for alliteration and GRE-level words.

"The mayor's father's sister was at one time married to the Speaker's husband's brother. So the Speaker's nieces and nephews are the Mayor's first cousins," he continued.

"For the black helicopter crowd, this kind of diagram is too difficult to sketch. So, instead they call her his aunt."

It's not exactly on par with Bill Wyman, but that is a difficult family tree to ascend. So, rather than cause everyone's heads to explode, we'll reveal that Nancy Pelosi is the aunt of Gavin Newsom's cousins -- which also makes Pelosi Newsom's late aunt's former sister-in-law.

And, if you're the National Republican Congressional Committee, this explains everything.


  • Pin It

Tags: , , , ,

About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Bio:
Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" is a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly, which he has written for since 2007. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers... more

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed

Like us on Facebook

Slideshows

  • 24th Annual Autumn Moon Festival
    Crowds gathered September 6-7 for the 24th Annual Autumn Moon Festival in Chinatown. Visitors enjoyed arts, crafts, cultural exhibits, food and a dog fashion show. Photographs by Dhoryan Rizo.
  • Felton: Touring the Redwoods
    Blue skies meet redwood canopies in the mountain town of Felton, located just north of Santa Cruz on Highway 9. Once a bustling logging community, the town is now a mix of mellow locals and serene wilderness. Visitors can enjoy the redwoods in nearby Henry Cowell Redwoods State Park and splash in swimming holes in the San Lorenzo River. For a bite to eat stop by Rocky’s Cafe for fruit-laden pancakes, barbeque at the Cowboy Bar & Grill and poolside burgers at the Trout Farm Inn. Other stops worth checking out include Roaring Camp Railroads, the Mount Hermon zip line tour, and the educational Bigfoot Discovery Museum. For beer or cocktails a log cabin bar has you covered.