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Monday, December 14, 2009

What Drinks Will Ace Barkeep Chris Daly Come Up With Next?

Posted By on Mon, Dec 14, 2009 at 6:30 AM

click to enlarge A progressive pour
  • A progressive pour
All kidding aside, we hear Supervisor Chris Daly is a hell of a bartender. So when he opens up his office on Thursday as an alcohol-laden cash-generator for the Coalition on Homelessness (5 p.m. first drink) -- greatness may ensue.

Daly is talented enough at slinging the booze that he's able to name specialty drinks after people; School board member Jane Kim told SF Weekly that Daly named a "lychee martini-like" concoction after her. By once again bribing the Guardian's unpaid interns (a signed picture of Bea Arthur is all it took), we've come up with a full list of Daly's drinkable creations:

The "Gavin Newsom": Two parts vegetable oil, one part ham, one part dirt, one part soy fillers, five parts cranberry juice, two parts strychnine, and two parts "special sauce I have to run to the back room to get."

The "Jeff Adachi": A kamikaze for the man who crashed his plane into the mayor's battleship regarding budgetary matters. And don't let him open a tab

The "Dennis Herrera": Two parts scotch, one part soda, and four press releases.
 

The "Ed Jew": Premium Ketel One vodka on the rocks -- but, actually, it's Popov in a Ketel bottle.

The "Willie Brown": Any old drink will do -- so long as it's served by the eight new bartenders Willie just hired on the city's dime and will soon transfer to the Human Rights Commission.

The "John Avalos": It doesn't matter. Whatever you pour for him, Gavin Newsom will just take it away.

The "Chuck Nevius": One part MD 20/20, one part Thunderbird, one part Manischewitz Loganberry wine, and one part vanilla extract, served in a paper bag.

The "Tom Ammiano": The Gay A.S.S. on Fire: one part amaretto, one splash of 151 proof rum, one part Sour Apple Pucker, one part Southern Comfort. Light it, kiss it, drain it.

The "Twitter":
A shot of 140-proof alcohol -- served via an enema.

The "Chris Daly's Key to Surviving a Fairfield Weekend"
: A tub of Miller High Life, codeine, and a repeating loop of the closing seconds of the 1992 Kentucky-Duke East Regional Final. 




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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Bio:
Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" is a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly, which he has written for since 2007. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers... more

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