It came in a manilla envelope with three American flag stamps, entitled "Important Pre-Election Press Release." Return address: David Bavineau (ecstatic), County Jail 4, 850 Bryant St.
Over at SF Weekly
, we tore the thick envelope open with no small amount of anticipation. Bavineau, as some may recall, is the man accused of making threats to the life of San Francisco District Attorney and the recent democratic nominee for Attorney General of California, Kamala Harris.
In a series of messages Bavineau left at Harris's campaign office on Feb. 11, he made his intentions fairly clear. "I am definitely killing your mother-fucking ass so fucking much," he told her. "You better watch your fucking step, fucking with some fucking
Americans...I definitely need you dead and nothing can talk me out of it," he said. "I
will spend $60 million to get it done."
The press release, which included the cryptic headline, "Don't Devo My Evo," didn't immediately address Bavineau's apparent issues with Harris. Instead, it began: "David Bavineau is running for U.S. Senate 2016 for California as a Bavinican/Republican. David is the true inventer of the Internet, the chip, the Evo, cellular phone technologies, auto technologies."
"He has been human trafficked his whole life," it said, "to awaken at age 38 and a half to the realities of being the first true real owner of Google, and most of Apple Computers, and technologies from Toyota, U Verse, Smart Phone, HTC, and others."
Despite what people might think, a number of movies including Good Will Hunting
, Dumb and Dumber
, The Shining
, and The Sound of Music
, are actually about Bavineau, the release says. It concludes by explaining why the press release has been issued.
Among other things, Bavineau wants publicity, book deals, to become a great leader for California and the world, and to be friends with SF Weekly (We are sort of touched), he writes.
Oh yeah, and he also wants to take down a few "criminal" politicians, including "Kamala Harris, Gavin Newsome, Diane Fienstein, Barbara Boxer, Jerry Brown, and Arnold Schwarzenegger." Why? "To get California better leaders, like me."
Following that statement of purpose is Bavineau's 42-page life story. If anybody is interested in reading that, then letting us know what's in it, we're happy to send you a copy.