Get SF Weekly Newsletters

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Mystery Feces Spur Police Call

Posted By on Thu, Aug 5, 2010 at 2:59 PM

click to enlarge Help! Police!
  • Help! Police!
Sooner or later every cop has to take that call. You think about it when you button up the uniform in the morning and when you shut off the light at night. But it's inevitable. And, yesterday, it came for the Ingleside Station: The dreaded feces-related vandalism report.

At 8:30 a.m. sharp, a woman called in from the 300 block of Harkness Avenue in Visitacion Valley claiming "an unknown person threw feces on the windshield of her vehicle when it was parked and unattended."

Sadly, the chances of flushing out the feces-thrower appear to be crappy. When SF Weekly called the station house to question what manner of feces were deposited on the victim's windshield we were told that information was not available. When we asked whether it was human feces or dog feces, the response was, "How can you tell human feces and dog feces apart?"

Apparently they don't teach that course at the Police Academy anymore.

Follow us on Twitter at @TheSnitchSF

and @SFWeekly  

  • Pin It

Tags: , , , , ,

About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" is a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly, which he has written for since 2007. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers... more


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed

Like us on Facebook


  • Trixxie Carr Presents: Maneater at Oasis
    January 14, 2015 was the first night of Trixxie Carr Presents: Maneater at Oasis in San Francisco. Photos by Calibree Photography.
  • No Pants BART Ride 2015 - NSFW
    The No Pants BART Ride commenced on Sunday, Jan. 11, 2015. Participants rode without pants, and at the end of the ride they disembarked at The Mission to bar hop, eat burritos and take selfies. Photos by Richard Haick.