When the ancient Polynesians invented surfing, they often used a paddle to help them navigate. Fast-forward a few millennia, and Stand-Up Paddleboarding, or SUP, finds itself trendy again. Part of its increasing popularity is that standing upright allows surfers to spot waves more easily and thus catch more of them, multiplying the fun factor. Paddling back to the wave becomes less of a strain as well. The ability to cruise along on flat inland water, surveying the sights, is another advantage. Finally, its a good core workout. If youre sold on the idea, schedule an intro SUP lesson, free with board and paddle rental, and you may find yourself riding the waves like a Polynesian king.More
In the past 30 years, light artists have reimagined an art form that has always had the ability to turn the night sky, or a simple window, into luminescence. Last fall, the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts turned its southern glass wall into a parade of sound-sensing lights, Lightswarm, that changes with the movements of nearby people and things. Future Cities Lab, the San Francisco design company behind Lightswarm, has originated another notable light sculpture. Located by the YBCA's steps at 701 Mission, Murmur Wall will light up in arresting ways as it incorporates local trending search engine results and social media postings. Onlookers can offer their own contributions, which will feed into the Murmur Wall's data stream and light up the sculpture. What's trending in San Francisco? If you're walking by the YBCA, you can see firsthand — at least through light patterns that reflect the city's volatile internet habits.
Murmur Wall debuts Thursday at 6 p.m. and continues through May 31, 2017, at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 701 Mission St., S.F. Free; 415-978-2700 or ybca.org. More
Mozzeria, newcomers to the Outside Lands lineup, will bring their 25-foot trolley, a restored mobile San Francisco cable car with a wood-fired oven, to Bluxome Street Winery for a Pinot, Pizza and Funk party. Local funk favorite Tortoise and the Pimps will perform while guests enjoy a special menu of Neapolitan pizzas and wine pairings! A ticket includes entry, one personal pizza and two glasses of wine; tickets are $40 per person. Limited tickets will be available at the door for $45.More
Dating material perhaps. But you want to marry this?
The Week In Gay
Have you noticed that the midterm election is around the goddamned corner? If your home is like mine you shovel 10 pounds of crap out of the mailbox and into the recycling bin every day; you have stopped answering the phone altogether; and the word "baloney" is officially banned from use.
Another clue: Candidates -- especially Republicans -- can't stop talking about the gays!
Not only are they talking about gays, but they are talking about gay marriage -- the one topic that isn't really on any political agenda this election, but it sure is a great way to sound like a hardass or religious zealot. Of course, Republicans aren't alone in playing the gay card, but they do set the standard in doublespeak.
President Obama had a pow-wow with five bloggers this week in which he stated that his views on same-sex marriage are evolving as he witnesses gays around him at the White House that have partners and even raise children. All of that exposure to gayness is making him evolve.
And while we are forgetting things, remember to forget that Bush had the same position in 2004 as Obama has now. And ignore the fact that candidates all over the country are bashing gay people constantly while Obama presents himself like he's a fucking half-baked pizza -- with the promise that some day he will be fully baked.
Those other candidates? Rebecca Kleefisch is running for Lieutenant Governor of Wisconsin. She cites the slippery slope theory of gay marriage that will lead to people into wanting to marry dogs and inanimate objects.
As long as we can get divorced from the end table, it's not a problem though, eh, Ms. Kleefisch? Don't forget -- we must maintain the clause that allows good Christians to stab the Lord in the back.
Divorce isn't getting a pass from Nevada Republican Sharron Angle -- the candidate running for Senate against Democratic Majority Leader Harry Reid. Angle humps her Bible and moans about terrible government programs and the evils of divorce and the dangers of the abandonment of man/woman flesh merging.
If Reid can't find a way to beat Angle, do we really want him in the Senate?
The brothers, who own local franchises of the gyms, are going to sever ties with the evil gym bastards as soon as they can. And until then, they will match every dollar paid to forces of darkness with a donation to LGBT charities.
Finally -- just so you don't think that everything in San Francisco is peachy and people are loving the queers round the clock -- the local ABC affiliate broadcast a story about a complete jackass employee at the Department of Motor Vehicles who sent a letter to a transgendered customer that was in the office to update her name on her drivers license. The letter quotes that silly Bible, talks about how gays should die and that being transgendered is evil.
The DMV continues to live up to its reputation as the warehouse of assholes.
Patrick Connors is an uppity fag who wonders why people can't keep their superstitious malarkey to themselves and just do their goddamned jobs.