With a hot dog and Coors-festooned launch party at AT&T Park last night, the World Champion San Francisco Giants officially screened their two 2010 season DVDs. And, like Titanic, you knew how they were gonna end.
Regarding Titanic, incidentally, all of the men frog-marched into the theater had three things to sustain them throughout the film's ponderous plot: At one point, Kate Winslet is going to disrobe; at one point the boat will sink; and at one point, Leo DiCaprio's character is going to die.
As for what charmed those not forcibly made to watch Titanic, we never thought too hard on that because we were too hung up that the San Francisco Giants had never won a World Series.
Well, no more. And, having nabbed the free Coors and taken in both DVDs, we can assure fans that they'll be very happy. After all, the good guys do win in the end.
The two DVDs in question are the Giants own season recap, The Magic Inside, and Major League Baseball's official film of the 2010 World Series.
You would have to be colder than Pat Burrell during the Series to whiff on producing these films -- and, thankfully, that's not the case. Both are certain to warm the hearts of long-suffering Giants fans for many a year. We do have some quibbles with the Giants' own film, however.
You can forgive the in-house highlight reel for going easy on those who had it hard -- but noting that Pablo Sandoval was nicknamed "Kung Fu Panda " because of "his enthusiasm and ability to perform incredible feats" is an incredible feat of its own. Let's be honest: It was largely because of his ursine paunch
. While we're at it, the 2010 season film notes at its outset that the Giants were anticipating big things from Sandoval this year -- then doesn't mention him for the remaining hour and 15 minutes.
Finally, the film rightly lauds San Francisco's white-hot finish to seal the divisional championship -- but neglects to mention San Diego helpfully losing 10 in a row in August and September
The in-house film is narrated by the team's own Duane Kuiper -- a man whose voice actually induces happy feelings among the faithful. Believe it or not, the official Major League Baseball World Series DVD is voiced by Rob Schneider
. Without question, this is the best Rob Schneider film of all-time.
We never gave much thought to the narrator -- but, to lay our souls bare, when your humble narrator slipped a note in the Wailing Wall asking the highest authority if, it wasn't too much trouble, could the Giants win the World Series ... this is the film I was hoping to see. The Giants' postseason was an exorcism of years of pain and failure, and this film captures it beautifully.
And we do mean "beautifully." The HD clips of game action are breathtaking -- they appear more like computer-generated effects than reality. Perhaps we didn't need to see Vlad Guerrero's tar-encrusted helmet i
n minute detail. But the footage of balletic infield action and slow-motion swings are still in front of my eyes.
How HD is HD? Enough that I could clearly read "MONTEFUSCO
" on the back of a fan's vintage orange jersey in a sweeping crowd scene as he turned to high-five a buddy.
I'll only reveal two more details. The slow setup for Edgar Renteria's Series-clinching home run in Game 5 was masterful -- a home run presenting a home run. And the player quotes were sprinkled in just right, and with just the right players. The ever-witty Brian Wilson described his feelings in the 9th inning of the ultimate game thusly:
This was our chance to lock them down so we can go absolutely ballistic and throw champagne everywhere.
And that was in HD, too.Follow us on Twitter at @TheSnitchSF and @SFWeekly