Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Disney's Frozen Is Evil and Turns Kids Gay, Says Pastor

Posted By on Tue, Mar 11, 2014 at 3:23 PM

click to enlarge GayborhoodBeat.jpg

Kevin Swanson, the pastor who not too long ago claimed that Girl Scout cookies turn everyone into lesbians, is back with another poignant argument about teh gheyz. This time he's turned his sights on Disney's animated film Frozen, or as the film is colloquially known in local gay dungeons, The Snowy Cesspool of Sin-Balls.

Swanson told cohost Steve Vaughn on his radio show that Satan is using the movie "to indoctrinate my 5-year-old to be a lesbian."

Swanson says:

"Man, how many children are taken into these things and how many Christians are taking their kids off to see the movie Frozen, produced by an organization that is probably one of the most pro-homosexual organizations in the country? You wonder sometimes, I'm not a tinfoil hat conspiratorialist, but you wonder sometimes if maybe there's something very evil happening here. If I was the Devil, what would I do to really foul up an entire social system and do something really, really, really evil to 5- and 6- and 7-year-olds in Christian families around America?"

He's not a tinfoil hat "conspiratorialist" or anything, but if he was in charge of Satan's Google Calendar, he'd be like, "More movies about young girls with 'ice powers!'"

Go on, Pastor:

"I wonder if people are thinking, 'You know I think this cute little movie is going to indoctrinate my 5-year-old to be a lesbian or treat homosexuality or bestiality in a light sort of way.' I wonder if the average parent going to see Frozen is thinking that way. I wonder if they are just walking in and saying, 'Yeah, let's get my five-year-old and seven-year-old indoctrinated early.' You know they're not. I think for the most part they're oblivious. Maybe they do pick up on pieces of it but they just don't get up and walk out."

Lesbihonest, Swanson! Everyone knows that if any Disney movie's going to turn your kid lesbian, it's Mulan.

Other examples of Disney movies that are way gayer than Frozen and should be banned immediately for indoctrinating our children, our parents, and even our grandparents:

Aladdin: The genie is obviously a big homo. Oh, you want us to rub your lamp, you say? That's the oldest gay trick in the book, genie! You can just stay in that lamp/closet for eternity for all we care.

Wall-E: Did you see a robot penis on WALL-E? That's because she is a not-very-cleverly disguised butch chasing after EVE, who is obviously a futuristic version of a militant vegan lesbian. Hide your kids, hide your robot wives!

Peter Pan: Peter (a nickname for a penis!) leads a group of young, impressionable boys into the woods (nickname for boner!), wearing tights (euphemism for hello, fabulous!). Need we say more?

The Lion King: Timon and Pumba (gay!), dressed in drag (hella gay), and dancing to hula music (so gay we just turned straight). 

The Little Mermaid: Want to know the real reason Ariel wants legs? It's so she can scissor just like the lesbians do in all the girl-girl porn she watches and loves.

Beauty and the Beast: First off, it takes place in France, which is gay-strike number one. Second, Belle just wants to be left alone to read [feminist discourse, we imagine] instead of bone the town hunk. Then she falls for that wolf-bison prince creature, which is an obvious homage to bestiality. And lastly, we'll just say it, we always thought Cogsworth the clock was pretty queeny. 

We could go on, but we won't further Disney's flagrant gay agenda any further. They've clearly done enough damage, as evidenced by how everyone who has seen any of these movies is now gay. 

Reel Talk, people.

Follow @annapulley on Twitter. She'll tweet you right.

  • Pin It

About The Author

Anna Pulley


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed

Like us on Facebook


  • Nevada City and the South Yuba River: A gold country getaway

    Nestled in the green pine-covered hills of the Northern Sierra Nevada is the Gold Rush town of Nevada City. Beautiful Victorian houses line the streets, keeping the old-time charm alive, and a vibrant downtown is home to world-class art, theater and music. The nearby South Yuba River State Park is known for its emerald swimming holes during the summer and radiant leaf colors during autumn. These days the gold panning is more for tourists than prospectors, but the gold miner spirit is still in the air.

    South Yuba River State Park and Swimming Holes:
    The park runs along and below 20 miles of the South Yuba River, offering hiking, mountain biking, gold panning and swimming. The Highway 49 bridge swimming hole is seven-miles northwest of Nevada City where Highway 49 crosses the South Yuba River. Parking is readily available and it is a short, steep hike to a stunning swimming hole beneath a footbridge. For the more intrepid, trails extend along the river with access to secluded swim spots. The Bridgeport swimming hole has calm waters and a sandy beach -- good for families and cookouts -- and is located 14 miles northwest of Nevada City. Be sure to write down directions before heading out, GPS may not be available. Most swimming holes on the South Yuba River are best from July to September, while winter and spring can bring dangerous rapids. Always know the current before jumping in!

    Downtown Nevada City
    The welcoming, walkable downtown of Nevada City is laid back, yet full of life. Start your day at the cozy South Pine Cafe (110 S Pine St.) with a lobster benedict or a spicy Jamaican tofu scramble. Then stroll the streets and stop into the shop Kitkitdizzi (423 Broad St.) for handcrafted goods unique to the region, vintage wears and local art “all with California gold rush swagger,” as stated by owners Carrie Hawthorne and Kira Westly. Surrounded by Gold Rush history, modern gold jewelry is made from locally found nuggets and is found at Utopian Stone Custom Jewelers (301 Broad St.). For a coffee shop with Victorian charm try The Curly Wolf (217 Broad St.), an espresso house and music venue with German pastries and light fare. A perfect way to cool down during the hot summer months can be found at Treats (110 York St.) , an artisan ice cream shop with flavors like pear ginger sorbet or vegan chai coconut. Nightlife is aplenty with music halls, alehouses or dive bars like the Mine Shaft Saloon (222 Broad St.).

    The Willo Steakhouse (16898 State Hwy 49, Nevada City)
    Along Highway 49, just west of Nevada City, is The Willo, a classic roadhouse and bar where you’re welcomed by the smell of steak and a dining room full of locals. In 1947 a Quonset hut (a semi-cylindrical building) was purchased from the US Army and transported to its current location, and opened as a bar, which became popular with lumberjacks and miners. The bar was passed down through the decades and a covered structure was added to enlarge the bar and create a dining area. The original Quonset beams are still visible in the bar and current owners Mike Byrne and Nancy Wilson keep the roadhouse tradition going with carefully aged New York steaks and house made ingredients. Pair your steak or fish with a local wine, such as the Rough and Ready Red, or bring your own for a small corkage fee. Check the website for specials, such as rib-eye on Fridays.

    Outside Inn (575 E Broad St.)
    A 16-room motel a short walk from downtown, each room features a unique décor, such as the Paddlers’ Suite or the Wildflower Room. A friendly staff and an office full of information about local trails, swimming and biking gets you started on your outdoor exploration. Amenities include an outdoor shower, a summer swimming pool and picnic tables and barbeques. Don’t miss the free vegetable cart just outside the motel in the mornings.

    Written and photographed by Beth LaBerge for the SF Weekly.

  • Arcade Fire at Shoreline
    Arcade Fire opened their US tour at Shoreline Amphitheater to a full house who was there in support of their album "Reflector," which was released last fall. Dan Deacon opened the show to a happily surprised early audience and got the crowd actively dancing and warmed up. DEVO was originally on the bill to support Arcade Fire but a kayak accident last week had sidelined lead singer Mark Mothersbaugh and the duration of the west coast leg of the tour. Win Butler did a homage to DEVO by performing Uncontrollable Urge.