All These Cats Need Either Therapy or Prison

Even though I'm only 28, I'm a burgeoning crazy cat lady who's not afraid to admit she loves — and talks to — her kitties.

I'm also well aware that, if my death were to mirror what has become a well-documented fear for single girls — slipping in the bathtub, cracking your skull on the tiles, and remaining undiscovered for days — my beloved pets would gladly dine on my corpse.

I've also determined that if they were humans, Bubba, my giant, silver-gray tabby, would be in prison for aggravated assault, and Phoenix, my calico girl, would not be allowed to live within 1,000 feet of a school.

We love them dearly, because holy shit, look at those little paws and those little eyelashes, but here are four reasons most cats are miscreants who should be either in therapy or prison.

Tags: , ,

Related Stories