This week on Game of Thrones: As king, Joffrey proves himself vicious, stupid, and shit covered; Theon Greyjoy's dubious success makes him horny; Daenerys Targaryen's claim to fame is stolen; and Sansa Stark discovers her guardian angel is a seven-foot-tall wrestling would-be superstar. Also, wildling sex.
And the awards go to…
Corn! Award: King Joffrey
Much like a raven shouting for corn, the people of King's Landing are hungry and shouting for food. So after King Joffrey sees his sister off to Dorne and mocks his little brother for crying, he is publicly showered with facetious adoration — and a giant wad of feces. With a giant shit smear on the side of his face, he begins futilely shouting for the execution of, um, everyone in the kingdom, and a riot to breaks out. One member of the royal party is literally ried limb from limb, and a man hoists his severed arm overhead like an MVP bowling trophy. Blood! Guts! Gore! Corn!