It'll Be Very: Heathers: The Musical Comes to the Victoria

As Christian Slater said in Heathers, “Society nods its head at any horror the American teenager can think to bring upon itself.”

As the mother Winona Ryder’s character Veronica Sawyer said, “When teenagers complain that they want to be treated like human beings, it's usually because they are being treated like human beings.”

And horror of horrors, Heathers: The Musical is coming to San Francisco, May 22 through June 13, to remind some human beings the joys of teenage misery. Ray of Light Theatre (the troupe that performs other edgy musicals like Jerry Springer and Carrie) has scooped the show up fresh from its off-Broadway run, and it’s better than awesome: It’s very!

[jump] An exceptionally dark ‘80s teenage comedy (so to speak) about a suburban Ohio high school where teen suicide is suddenly all the rage, Heathers skewers conformity, popularity, and the general bullshit of life in a way that Holden Caulfield could never dream of doing. If the last laugh is on them and their painfully trite notions of rebellion, these are still the original Queen Bees. The Heathers are the clique to end all cliques, even if when they confess to praying for each other’s deaths and don’t always care for pâté after a round of croquet.

Tickets are only $25-$36, which is less than some people spend on poisoned orange juice. Do not miss this, not even to do something nice like asking Martha Dumptruck to hang out and watch some new releases! The only way you could even think you have better plans than this is in the event you ate a brain tumor for breakfast.

Heathers: The Musical, Friday, May 22, to Saturday, June 13, at the Victoria Theatre, 2961 16th St., 415-863-7576.

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