Thrift-Store Copy of Paris Hilton's “Your Heiress Diary” Is History's Second Saddest Journal

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Your Heiress Diary

Author: Paris Hilton, purportedly, although Merle Ginsberg gets a “with” credit. (He's probably not an heiress.) Also, the mystery diarist who wrote in and then donated this terrible book.
Date: 2005
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Discovered at: A thrift store somewhere in America

The Cover Promises: “Confess it all to me,” which suggests that your secrets might be protected by some kind of Paris-client privilege.

Representative Quotes:

“Look in the mirror once a day and say, 'I'm an heiress! And I'm worth a bundle!!'” — Paris Hilton, page 39

“I love competition! Goal-oriented! I have good hygiene — always! I regularly go to the gym! I can sit in silence for hours!” — Mystery diarist, page 23.

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