Your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from Golden State thrift stores, estate sales, and flea markets.
Your Heiress Diary
Author: Paris Hilton, purportedly, although Merle Ginsberg gets a “with” credit. (He's probably not an heiress.) Also, the mystery diarist who wrote in and then donated this terrible book.
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Discovered at: A thrift store somewhere in America
The Cover Promises: “Confess it all to me,” which suggests that your secrets might be protected by some kind of Paris-client privilege.
“Look in the mirror once a day and say, 'I'm an heiress! And I'm worth a bundle!!'” — Paris Hilton, page 39
“I love competition! Goal-oriented! I have good hygiene — always! I regularly go to the gym! I can sit in silence for hours!” — Mystery diarist, page 23.