Are you Bernie-curious? Do you secretly hope Carly Fiorina will issue another demon sheep ad? Do you think Piyush “Bobby” Jindal’s xenophobia makes him the biggest hypocrite of all time? Have you any inkling who the fuck Jim Gilmore is?
If you answered any of the above questions with a word, you’re probably planning on tuning into CNN’s Republican Debate, to be held Wednesday, Sept. 16, at the Ronald Reagan Mausoleum and Ziggurat Complex in Southern California, at an auspicious hour selected by Nancy Reagan’s personal astrologer.
People of different political persuasions watch Donald Trump for different reasons, but you know it’s much more fun to hoot at the idiocy in the company of fellow lefties at the Roxie Theater. So the League of Pissed Off Voters — whose name might now almost suggest to the uninitiated that they're diehard Trump partisans — presents the Republican Debate Watch Party for the Less Than Conservative, with an introduction by none other than former State Assembly Member (and onetime standup comic) Tom Ammiano.
Of course the League, with its unimpeachable mission to channel disaffected slackers’ apathy and disgust into political involvement, is in a better position than just about anyone to offer a forum for trenchant critiques of Marco Rubio’s immigration flip-flopping and Jeb Bush’s stated desire that Americans need to put in longer hours. And if you were planning on turning this into a drinking game involving the word “China,” remember, the Roxie has a liquor license!
Eventually, the joke will be on us when Donald Trump and his V.P. Travis Kalanick take office in January 2017 after the Hillary email scandal reveals that she forwarded solicitations from a dethroned Nigerian prince to the entire State Department. But for now, we can at least groan in unison when Ben Carson says some crazy shit about how health care is worse than slavery and America’s beleaguered working class finds itself even more enthralled with a billionaire jerk.
Republican Debate Watch Party for the Less Than Conservative, Wednesday, Sept. 16, 4:30 p.m., $10, at the Roxie Theater, 3116 16th St., 415-431-2611.